How far we have come and how far we have yet to travel. I remember when I was much younger and first coming to understand my sexual attraction and orientation the thought of marriage was not on my mind.
In fact, my first long term relationship didn’t consider getting married as most of who we were in fact was considered illegal.
The majority of our life was spent trying to get housing which was safe, not to be fired from our jobs and not get the crap kicked out of us for daring to live together.
The early “gay affirming” church called the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches” had a liturgy that was called a “Holy Union”. This pretty much copied the traditional church wedding ceremonies’ and changed the pronouns to fit the same gender couple.
For a hot second that was enough, that is to have a church recognize your relationship and hold it as blessed in the eyes of God.
Of course the longer we were together with our partners the more we found out that while God may love us and embrace us, no one else was and especially the law.
We had no visitation rights for our partners when hospitalized, because we weren’t married.
We had no rights to our partner’s body when they died, because we were not married. In the late 70’s and mid 80’s people were dying at an alarming rate.
We had no rights to pass on property without it being contested by family members, because we weren’t married.
If our partner had something catastrophic happen to them, we had no say in their treatment or care, because we were not married.
We could not have children, because we were not married.
We could not adopt children, because we were not married.
We could not be considered for credit together, because we were not married.
The longer a couple was together and the everyday obligations of living life became more and more complicated because we were not married.
As a couple we suffered at the hands of the IRS and tax breaks and credits because we were not married.