MyOutSpirit.com Gay Spirituality Blog

The silver lining on the United Methodist Church's condemnation of gays

By Joe Perez

In certain places in America, conservatives are so scarce they’ve begun to import them from abroad. Specifically, in Tampa, Florida, where 1,000 delegates gathered for the United Methodist Church's General Conference. While liberal American Methodists pleaded for tolerance for gay people, conservatives from overseas compared homosexuality to bestiality.

A report on Huffington Post:

Gay rights advocates in the UMC viewed the compromise proposals as the best chance to advance their cause at this year's General Conference, which convenes every four years. On Friday, delegates are expected to debate the church's bans on noncelibate gay clergy and same-sex marriage.

With nearly 8 million members in the U.S., the UMC remains the country's largest mainline Protestant denomination. But United Methodism is shrinking in the U.S. and growing in Africa and Asia, shifting the balance of power to overseas conservatives. Nearly 40 percent of the delegates gathered in Tampa live outside the U.S.

Thursday's debate put the denomination's wide diversity on display -- as gays and lesbians pleaded for recognition of their "sacred worth" and an African delegate, speaking through an interpreter, compared homosexuality to bestiality.

The conservatives won the day, proclaiming publicly that “homosexual acts” are "incompatible with Christian teaching" in the largest mainstream Protestant denomination in the U.S.A. Of course, it's their right to run their church as they see fit and nobody is forcing anybody to be part who doesn't find a welcoming home there. And of course, many of us would much prefer that if the conservatives can't at least be willing to agree to disagree, then they would stay quiet.

But then again, we aren't really the folks the Methodist leaders are speaking to. They say they are speaking to the world, but they are really addressing only those willing to listen, mainly their flocks which are increasingly hailing from the developing world and less so North America and Europe. Thus, the fate of gays and lesbians in the "first world" is tied to the fate of gays and lesbians everywhere. There is no progress on the LGBT dignity front in America if the LGBT folks in places like Bangladesh and Uganda and Argentina are left out.

Thus, religion is providing a uniting thread linking the fate of persecuted minorities everywhere. Today there are Methodists in every country, or almost every country, where there are Christians. And where people share a common religion, if their religion leaves them out, they will share a common persecution. Fear will rule over love when love grows too weak.

Quote of the Day: Joe Perez

Quote By Joe Perez

"Given enough time, modernity is enough to show traditional churches that homosexuality is not an illness or disorder, and ought to be tolerated. Given enough time, postmodernism is enough to show modernist churches that they need to accept gays, lesbians, and other sexual and gender minorities for the diversity they bring. Given enough time, an integral wave of consciousness -- a World Spirituality -- will be enough to show traditional churches that they have held an honorable role by keeping the flame burning which knows the inner divinity of gays and lesbians; it will be enough to show modernist churches and secular organizations the ways in which gay/straight differences in perspective offer many fruitful new avenues for investigation of  the interior life of all sentient beings; it will be enough to show postmodern churches, spirituality-based, and mission-driven organizations the best ways to bring homophiles and heterophiles and all people within whom gender/sexual/energetic polarities exist into a constructive theology of interrelationship, marriage, and social ethics. All this is within our reach in the stratums of pre-modern, modern, and post-modern life-worlds in which we dwell, but it most definitely requires a World Spirituality." 

Recently on Spirit's Next Move: Joe's Towards a World Spirituality theology of gay marriage

Photo Credit: anna and liz

Love Anyway: Overcoming Hate with Your Heart Chakra

{Special Guest Post By Ilchi Lee}

How open is your heart chakra? If you are not used to thinking of your health in terms of energy, you may wonder why this question is important.

You can think of the energy in the body as the vital force that animates us. Chakras are energy centers located along the midline of the body. You might visualize these as energy vortexes that extend in front of and behind the body that interact with other people and things in the world. There are seven chakras and each one represents some facet of human experience. For example, the lower chakras deal with issues of sexuality, physical activity, and survival, while the upper chakras govern spirituality, imagination, and the intellect. Opening, balancing, and clearing all of the chakras are important for overall health. 

The heart chakra, in essence, is all about love—the kind of love that is absolutely accepting and embracing of all things. Most of us fall short of this sort of unconditional love, and thus we have heart chakra blockage to some degree or another. Any sort of sadness, anger, resentment, judgment, bigotry, or hatred will block the heart chakra. If you watch a very young child, you will notice that human beings come into the world with very open hearts.

Yet, the experiences of life cause us to close down our hearts for the sake of self-protection.  When we are judged very harshly, or are made an object of ridicule or hate, keeping the heart chakra open becomes all the more difficult. In such situations, we’re actually on the receiving end of other people’s heart chakra dysfunctions.

It is a perfectly natural reaction to close up one's heart in response to such circumstances, but you can avoid allowing such cultural dysfunctions to undermine your capacity to love yourself and others fully. By striving to keep your heart open, you can find great strength and true and lasting happiness.

Loving unconditionally with an open heart chakra is difficult to achieve; it is easier to focus on what you don’t like about a person or situation. However, without condoning hateful behavior, you can work on recognizing the divine nature inherent in every individual, regardless of the face they show to you. You can see the ultimate blessing in everything and accept and love everything within and outside of you. You can also focus on the love that you give to others, rather than the love you get from them.

Doing so is easier if you can be in tune with and feel your own divine nature, which is an ongoing life practice. Try this meditation that puts you in a mental space to feel your divinity. You may want to tap your chest with your palms or loose fists beforehand to relax the muscles there, deepen your breathing, and help your heart chakra to open.

 

Find a comfortable position, either standing or sitting without your legs crossed.

With your back straight and shoulders relaxed,

Concentrate on your lower belly

and bring your fingertips together in front of your chest to form a ball.

Through the fingertips, all organs are connected and all chakras are bonded.

Current flows through your fingertips and warmth greets each finger.

Your mind is truly at rest as golden light fills your hands.

Imagine another you hidden within the light.

You are there inside the golden aura of the cosmos.

 

Observe yourself floating in space,

as pure and unadulterated as the day you were born.

You are neither man nor woman,

without name or title.

Pure life is what you observe.

You are infinitely peaceful,

within a space inviolable to all,

a space of pure consciousness.

 

From this place of pure consciousness,

body and mind find harmony

and all memories of suffering dissolve,

returning you to the place of zero.

Body and mind become pure and clean

in this place of emptiness.

You return to the place of original being,

where your true shape is the purity of the soul that exists within you always.

Whenever you wish, you may return here to purify your body and mind.

 

You are a beautiful, unique individual that is destined to touch many other people during the course of your life. By challenging our culture’s boundaries about who it is acceptable to love, and keeping your heart open in the process, you are opening the heart of the entire collective consciousness. You know that great beauty that lies in your heart.

I would like to include a couple of lines from my recent book The Call of Sedona .

“We are individual flowers blooming on a single tree called Life. Because each flower makes the effort to complete its own unique color, shape, and fragrance, the whole tree of Life can emanate greater vital power in all its fullness.”

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ILCHI LEE is an educator, mentor, and trailblazer who has developed many mind-body training methods including Dahn Yoga and Brain Education.  He is also the founder of Sedona Mago Retreat and the author of thirty-three books, including the New York Times bestseller, The Call of Sedona: Journey of the Heart.  For more information about the book, visit www.callofsedona.com.

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How to Pray for the End of LGBT Teen Suicide

What is the best SPIRITUAL response to LGBT teen suicides?

We're shocked and sad and angry every time the news breaks about another tragedy. We share the news on Facebook. We hold candlelight memorials. We speak out against bullying. We donate to The Trevor Project. 

Now, let's also focus our SPIRITUAL POWER on ending this suffering.

Each of us who believes in the Power of Prayer (or The Secret, creative visualization, tonglen, or Ho'oponopono) must now dedicate some portion of our practice to LGBT young people.

What does this mean?

We live in a creative universe. What we think about creates our individual experience, but those of us who believe in prayer also believe that what we pray about effects the world. 

DO NOT PRAY ABOUT LGBT TEEN SUICIDE.

Prayer and similar practices are creative - you get more of what you put energy toward. "Whatsoever you ask in my Name, that will I do." (John 14:13)

So when you do your spiritual work around this issue, do not pray from your grief, your anger, your compassion. Do not pray about the tragedy. Do not pray for this epidemic to stop. These would be negative prayers.

Instead, use positive prayer.

Pray for peace and healing and protection and Light and angels and Love to surround and lift up LGBT youth.

See it in your mind while you practice.

Imagine every LGBT teen laughing, living in joy, receiving love and support from all directions. 

If you can't wipe the memory of these tragedies from your spiritual practice: close your eyes; consciously witness the lost child's experience of bullying or loneliness - like a movie; and then, do it again, but make different choices. That is, imagine what the scenerio would have been if everything had gone right - if they'd found the strength, known what to say, who to tell, where to turn, how to get through it. Focus on this new sequence, and send it out into the universe as the new story of How Things Go. 

And then, BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.

As I have written about before, there are actual concrete things we can do to bring the number of LGBT teen deaths by suicide down to ZERO.

But we have to do it together.

And we have to do it NOW.

 

ANGEL PHOTO: http://drakator.deviantart.com/art/Why-126135568

“Wag the Dog” of Christmas

Well, we are nine days away from what Christians have come to call Christmas.  I find it hard to understand and almost laughable at how twisted and screwed up this “church” celebration of it’s founder has become.

 

I want to share this obvious observation: Even if there were some remote chance I could become pope…they would never let me. The reason is simple and it is not because of my progressive views of Christian theology, or the fact that I am unapologetically gay or even the fact that I do not believe the bible is the inerrant word of God.

 

Nope, it is because I believe December 25th is one of the biggest scams ever pulled on humanity.

 

Those who are pastors know that what I am suggesting is very true. Y’all went to seminary and know that saying Jesus was born on December 25th is like saying there is a real living breathing Santa Claus. Of course this is but one of many transparent lies and traditions that are based on fiction rather then fact.

 

We have kind of a “Wag the Dog” scenario.  You remember the movie: The story of a US President running for office and before elections, a spin-doctor and a Hollywood producer join efforts to "fabricate" a war in order to cover-up a presidential sex scandal.

 

I think the first time I heard this Christmas script of a “war on Christmas” was from Bill O’Reilly. What has now become the ultimate fundraiser of those on the “Christian and political right”: “The War on Christmas” is fought for the entire 12 weeks leading to December 25th. Do you say “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas”? Legal fights jam our courts over these phrases or worse when a nativity scene gets set up. Conservative Christian websites fire up the war by warning their readers and members that “Christmas is about to be stolen from them so send us money to protect you!”

 

However if you really think about it, this so-called “War on Christmas” is simply a ridiculous marketing idea that fits our arrogance, selfishness and greed to a “t”.  Read me clearly here: the conservatives, fundamentalists, liberals and progressives have all bought into a huge marketing adventure of “wag the dog”.

 

For the Christmas season, which begins long before the 1st Sunday in Advent, actually right after Halloween, we are subjected to twelve weeks of Christmas messages that have little to do with or about our Christian faith. In fact, most of the preparations and so-called traditions have been borrowed or should I say stolen from pagan practices! Although many marketing people cleverly package their presentations in the form of a cute little baby in a cute well-manicured and warm manger scene.

 

People begin making plans for family gatherings and the perfect gift to make the perfect statement of love or impression. This is all destroyed when Johnny announces he is bringing Tom home for Christmas or Susie tells the family she will be spending this holiday with Tammy and her family.

 

Money, jobs, friends, illness, those dying, families, the homeless, starving children, criminals of all kinds and political games all become the all consuming thing that will happen in that particular year or in a lifetime coming up to December 25th.

 

Starting with Thanksgiving and through Christmas day every story has a Christmas slant meant to make one feel guilty, or believe it is possible for one day if enough money is spent, to be a day of perfect perfection.

 

Almost every retail business, in America anyway, is geared to this time as making or breaking them for the entire year.

 

Legislation, which is vital to so many people’s lives, is either held hostage or used as extortion leading to December 25th.

 

Also, starting with Thanksgiving our food consumption just simple goes off the charts, eating far too much of everything and especially the wrong things. Alcohol consumption also goes off the charts but hey, you got to drink something with all that food.

 

The normal everyday challenges of life become a crisis of faith because “tis the season”.

 

People’s social and pageant schedules become so jammed there is no time to take a breath or enjoy a quiet moment of peace and wonderment at God’s creativity in this world in which we live.

 

We are pushed to acts of kindness because it is the Christmas season, rather than it is the right and just thing to do.

 

I could go on and on but you get the point.

 

Now for those who have at this point decided I am some sort of Scrooge or Grinch that stole Christmas, be patient and give me a few more sentences.

 

When I was young my Grandfather told me the reason one should not lie is because once you tell a lie, you have to tell another lie to cover the first and another to cover the 2nd and pretty soon you are just having to lie all the time because you have lost track of the truth and you can’t remember what you said and to whom.

 

We have been told and believe so many lies concerning Christmas that we have almost completely lost why this particular birthday is important, why we celebrate a life which in thirty-three years (a couple years more or less) had such an impact as to change the very course of human events.

 

In all the perfection we strive for in the holiday season, we forget this birth was anything but neat, clean and glamorous. We forget or by cheesy tradition, explain away that this child was conceived out of wedlock, borne in abject poverty and grew up in a world that was most certainly as dangerous to human life as it is today. We forget or don’t talk about how the gossips of the day must have had a field day both inside the temple and outside.

 

We jump past the truth of this story which tells us that no matter how bad things are or get God can raise us up out of the ashes of despair to a place with the Creator.

 

We forget this is a birth that gave us a moral compass for living a life that would be pleasing to the God who created us because it leads to a life of doing justice, acting mercifully and walking humbly with God.

 

When we first bought the lie of December 25th, it became easier to buy the other lies. In fact the Christian and political right’s fear of Christmas being stolen while a lie itself was a self-fulfilling prophecy. For you see, I don’t think we have to worry about Christmas being stolen…it already has been stolen and replaced with the craziness that we call the “Holiday Season”.

 

It is the fact that Jesus of Nazareth was born that we celebrate. The truth of the date is somewhere between April and August depending on whose math you believed. About the only thing certain about the date is it was not the 25th of December. The story of the circumstances of his conception and birth give us real hope that it gets better. Jesus’ life and work gives us a working model and road map for our life. His life is indeed one we can look up to and not be disappointed in what we see. His arrest, faulty conviction and the administration of capital punishment followed by a resurrection give those us who call ourselves followers of “The Christ”, the assurance that nothing in this world including death of the physical body can keep us from God.

 

Maybe the date we celebrate the birth in the wider view is not as important as getting back to why we remember this birth like no other birth in history.

 

So it is with the spirit of being authentic in our celebration I ask us to consider how our “Christmas” celebration this year will measure up to the words attributed to the one we celebrate, we remember, we strive to be like:

 

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

 

Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

 

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Creator in heaven. Matthew 5:3-16 (New International Version, ©2010)

 

It seems to me that December 25th is as good as any day to get back to the authentic reason for giving honor to the birth of the one called Jesus.  So to those who have bought into the “Wag the Dog” scenario of Christmas, how about we just get back to basics and let people enjoy the season in peace?

Just Married and So Worthy!

~Mary Anne Flanagan/Toning the OM

I wanted to share how powerful it was to get married in New York City! After 17+ years, my partner and I were married last week (Thank you New York!). We have been in awe of all the support and love we have received over the years, especially when New York passed the Marriage Equality Act. Many of our friends asked us when we were going to get married. We wanted to plan something big with a party and blessing. As we became more overwhelmed by the planning, we decided to just go ahead and have a small civil ceremony – for us.

As we entered the Office of the City Clerk, we were welcomed by city employees. Everything was very well organized. After a couple of hours, we were called into a small chapel to be married. As the officiate bellowed out the words, “We are gathered here today…” I began to cry. I never thought I would ever hear those words. I took a moment to compose myself. I looked at my partner and had the thought, "We deserve this. We are worthy." I exhaled and my eyes filled with tears again. And I realized how worthy we are - we all are. This year I paid attention to worthiness, and I had the gift of celebrating marriage.

As I said "I Do" to my partner, I was saying I do to all the love I deserve. I was saying I do to life and the love that I am. And I invite you to do the same.

Say "I do" to you - YOU ARE WORTHY!

(Oh, and the Office of the City Clerk is on "Worth" Street!)

All love, always, Mary Anne

Mary Anne Flanagan is a Certified Life Coach, Shamanic Practitioner and Teacher workshop facilitator, inspired speaker, and creator of Toning the OM™.  Mary Anne Flanagan/Toning the OM™: maflanagan@toningtheom.com or 917.238.9726. Visit http://www.toningtheom.com

Rejection culture and the True Self

By Joe Perez

What's the best way for one gay man to reject another gay man online? NYC writer and sex educator Lucas writes:

I'm beginning to think that a simple no-response response is sometimes the wisest solution, although not the most friendly or guilt-free. Unfortunately, we have created a world in which a returned 'hello' often translates through the screen as "do me" rather than a polite greeting. Friendly conversation still works in real-life interaction, of course, but if you actually engage with someone on Dudesnude, Grindr, etc., for more than a couple of exchanges, interest will be assumed and declining an offer will be even more difficult.

via Top to Bottom.

Since it's been several years since I've met anyone online or used social media to hookup, I feel a bit out of the loop. I hear there's something now called Grindr. LOL. But I doubt that I'm missing a heck of a lot.

I have enough memories of gay men's culture of rejection to last a lifetime, and have been on both the rejector/rejectee side of the fence. Maybe Lucas is right about keeping one's hookup protocol to the least offensive means possible; maybe it's best when injuring to keep the cuts quick and shallow.

At the same time, ever since reading The Soul Beneath the Skin by David Nimimons several years ago, it became clear to me that the LGBT community -- and gay men in particular -- are better served if we are also transcending a culture of rejection and not merely trying to make it less damaging.

At the individual level, it is difficult for the average person to shift a culture, but everyone can shift himself or herself. It can start one day at a time by treating other gay people just as you would want to be treated.

Don't be afraid to say "hello," and if a man says hello, don't assume he means, "do me." And don't be afraid to smile, make eye contact, or ask how someone is feeling.

This is a good start. Ultimately, what is at stake is much more important than whether our feelings get hurt or another person's feelings get hurt.

What is at stake is whether we are counterfeiting ourselves by perpetuating cycles of harm to the True Self that is in You and in Me and radiating secretly behind every facade on Grindr.

There is only one True Self, and there is a cost in wholeness to rejecting our beautiful, loving true nature. What are you avoiding by rejecting another person?

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Reposted from my new weblog Soulfully gay : the blog.

To boycott the Salvation Army or not to boycott?

By Joe Perez

I am  joining other leaders in the LGBT community in calling for a boycott of the Salvation Army during this holiday season, but I want to add an important qualification.

Join in a boycott of donating to the fundamentalist Christian organization during the holiday season IF you do so as a intentional practice of ethics that arises from your Unique Self. That is to say, boycott if it is the way you can most beautifully and splendidly express your inner divinity out in the world. And if a different impulse of Love arises from your perspective on the world which leads you to make a different choice, I want to respect and even applaud that impulse as well. There is no one-size-fits-all response to the Salvation Army's red kettle.

The fundamentalist religious organization needs to hear the message that if they are going to support discrimination and gays and lesbians, there is a price to pay. But it will hear this message no matter what you or I do, as there are already thousands of individuals committed to boycotting the organization. The choice you and I make could be one of following the hordes who donate or the hordes who boycott based on spiritual beliefs or ideological principles, or we can choose based on doing what comes naturally to us when we act out of our Unique Self.

The Salvation Army has a prominent presence at public locations such as shopping malls during the holiday season, riging bells and soliciting donations intended for charitable causes. You probably know the ideological rationale for not giving them money. If you don't, Bill Browning of Bilerco gives a run-down of the organization's shortcomings, which have included lobbying campaigns worldwide to make consensual same-sex relations illegal:

The Salvation Army has a history of active discrimination against gays and lesbians. While you might think you're helping the hungry and homeless by dropping a few dollars in the bright red buckets, not everyone can share in the donations. Many LGBT people are rejected by the evangelical church charity because they're "sexually impure."

The church claims it holds "a positive view of human sexuality," but then clarifies that "sexual intimacy is understood as a gift of God to be enjoyed within the context of heterosexual marriage." The Salvation Army doesn't believe that gays and lesbians should ever know the intimacy of anyloving relationship, instead teaching that "Christians whose sexual orientation is primarily or exclusively same-sex are called upon to embrace celibacy as a way of life."

On its webpage, the group claims that "the services of The Salvation Army are available to all who qualify, without regard to sexual orientation." While the words are nice, their actions speak volumes. They blatantly ignore the position statement and deny LGBT people services unless they renounce their sexuality, end same-sex relationships, or, in some cases, attend services "open to all who confess Christ as Savior and who accept and abide by The Salvation Army's doctrine and discipline." In other words, if you're gay or lesbian, you don't qualify.

The organization also has a record of actively lobbying governments worldwide for anti-gay policies - including an attempt to make consensual gay sex illegal.

For Christians, charity begins with recognizing the dignity of other human beings as created in the image of God; at higher degrees of consciousness it can include identification with Love itself, and a felt sense of being one with all beings through Christ. There is no charity in the Salvation Army's prejudiced decrees and harmful, disrespectful acts.

Personally, my challenge to myself this holiday season in living my Unique Self is to not hold judgments the bell-ringers outside the grocery store or Westlake Center, or even towards the fundamentalist leaders of the organization. I do not believe they are bad people. I do not believe they hate gays. I believe they are ME.

Occupy Forgiveness

The peace you are seeking is seeking you. The forgiveness you are waiting for is waiting for you. ~Mary Anne Flanagan/Toning the OM

This week I picked up an old favorite to re-read — Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning. Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist, was imprisoned in Auschwitz and Dachau, and he writes eloquently about his harrowing experiences in the death camps. It was through unimaginable suffering that Frankl was able to find meaning not only in his life, but to fully understand how others find meaning in theirs. He writes in his book, “When we are no longer able to change a situation…we are challenged to change ourselves.”

How can we change ourselves? Viktor Frankl writes, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” I have been choosing an attitude of “Occupy Forgiveness” for a few months. Forgiveness has taught me to live in the present and leave the past behind. When I find myself seeking peace, I have noticed that peace is seeking me.

Are there people and situations in your life you are still carrying around with anger, disappointment, and sadness? Please join me on a journey of peace in an upcoming telecourse on Forgiveness. Resting in Radical Forgiveness telecourse starts Monday, November 7 at 8PM (ET).

What would it take for you to Occupy Forgiveness?

Peace, Mary Anne

Mary Anne Flanagan is a Certified Life Coach, Shamanic Practitioner and Teacher workshop facilitator, inspired speaker, and creator of Toning the OM™.  Mary Anne Flanagan/Toning the OM™: maflanagan@toningtheom.com or 917.238.9726. Visit http://www.toningtheom.com

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