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March 24, 2004



My partner and I seriously need to attend a workshop to enhance our sex life. It's me that needs the workshop the most. I love him dearly. However, I'm not attracted to him anymore. Are there workshops coming up that are not far from Maryland. I'd even be willing to travel up or down the East Coast to attend one.



Hi Dan ... I just wanted to let you know I read your post about you not being attracted to your partner anymore. I wanted to reach out and tell you that I really admire you wanting to work on yourself to see if you cannot maintain your relationship and keep it in good standing. And I also felt led to talk openly with you. I see that you are a musician. I am one too. It seems that we musicians or artists can be in constant need for visual or auto stimulation. This is what makes us 'artists' after all. We pick up on a vibe and seek to learn from that thing all we can while it is with us. Sex is a very creative thing, simply because it is very emotional. Art and emotion go hand in hand too. But the thing is ... when you are with the same person and doing the SAME things over and over again FOR YEARS ... and then when that individual shows absolutely NO CREATIVITY to move things along and make them more interesting ... well it can be absolute agony for an artistic personality! I know I have been there before. I have learned with me, I always seem to partner with men who are less creative than me, so knowing this now ... I see that it is more so my responsibility to take the initiative to keep things going in an interesting direction. But sometimes I get tired of it. And like most people, you wonder about what's out there that could be new and interesting ... in regard to another bedmate. But I know that is really not the answer, and Spirituality I do not trust sharing my sex life with an outside party because I do not want another person's energy coming in and corrupting what my partner of the past 9 years have. To me no sex is worth that. Between my partner and I we have years of trust and respect, so to remedy, from time to time we do fantasy role play in regard to that. But once we are done imagining. I always feel led to reassure him and tell him that HE is still the one I want. And I find that the intimacy after expressing this is very fulfilling. Another thing I have learned to do is pray a great deal. I actually ask God/Christ/Spirit to help us have better sex. I ask that we sexually and intimately find the Light of God between us and be helped to build on it so that we be caused to grow. I also ALWAYS ask for Spiritual protection from those things that could knock me off my life purpose. I do not ever want to get caught up in something that is going to lead me and my life and my self-esteem into destruction. And I know those kinds of energies are indeed out there. All one has to do is look at the trail of lost lives that could have known greatness to see that.

So pray ... and pray together as a couple as much as possible. We can forget that it is from God we all came, and the Light of God is within us. We we seek out that Light, especially with the one we Love and are building our lives with ... it can only make us stronger! Seek to make Love and balance that out with also seeking to have fun with sex. I find that too many men are afraid to make Love. They are afraid of allowing their emotions to be made vulnerable. As sexually diverse men, we are going to need to work on that! Cause all the fantasy stuff can make you go way out there ... and when it is all said and done ... YOU STILL need to make sure you tell him ... that he is still the one you want.

Blessings, Light, Laughter and Love!

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