MyOutSpirit.com Gay Spirituality Blog

The "amazing" story of the little neo-pagan Eucharist that could

Conservative bloggers Ted Olsen at Christianity Today, various right-wing Episcopalians such as this guy, and Terry Mattingly at GetReligion have been foaming at the mouth over a recent liturgy posted by the Episcopal Church's Office of Women's Ministries. The liturgy (which supposedly has Druidic origins) begins:

We gather around a low table, covered with a woven cloth or shawl. A candle, a bowl or vase of flowers, a large shallow bowl filled with salted water, a chalice of sweet red wine, a cup of milk mixed with honey, and a plate of raisin cakes are placed on the table.

When all are seated on the floor and comfortable, one of the women lights the candles saying,

"Mother God, Giver of light, let this flame illumine our hearts and minds. May its warmth remind us of the love in which you embrace us all. We thank you, Mother, for light."

So the conservative religionists of the blogosphere are now claiming to have broken a great news item: "the amazing story of the little neo-pagan Eucharist that could." They believe this story may offer conclusive evidence that the theology battle in the Episcopal Church extends beyond issues such as homosexuality to the very core of doctrine. In short, that the Episcopal Church is now advocating the worship of idols specifically condemned in the Bible. Mattingly concludes: "If the Episcopalians have decided to drop, edit or re-refine the Decalogue, those of us who cover the Godbeat/godsbeat will really have a story on our hands."

This isn't the first time that Mattingly, an ex-Episcopalian, has called to the world's attention the horrors of pagan idol worship at the Sunday service. In my response to Mattingly's previous post on a Gaia mass at an Episcopal church, I concured that deep theological issues do indeed seem to divide liberals and conservatives. The divide seems to signal radically different understandings of the Divine, in my opinion.

With regard to the current controversy, I find myself sympathetic to folks on all sides. Theologically I'm most sympathetic to the liberals, naturally, and find the opinions of the conservatives to be horribly ethnocentric, primitive, and unenlightened. The conservative's notion that celebrating the earth or affirming feminine images of the Divine is repugnant to spirituality strikes me as retrograde. Their notion that disbelievers in their sky god go straight to a fiery hell is also, I think, a wee bit problematic.

But the conservatives do, I think, have a point. They desperately want to cling to a notion of a God separate from the world in a mythological heaven, a male deity who has spoken words in the Decalogue that specifically condemn the worship of false idols. From this vantage point, the current controversy over the worship of feminine images of the Divine in Christian churches must be very upsetting. If I believed that only my male deity was real and all other gods and goddesses were phony imitations, then naturally I would be upset if liberals in my church wanted to actually EXPAND my understanding of the Divine to include symbols and images and stories from cultural traditions outside my own.

Surely it is understandable that religionist reactionaries want to preserve their mythological understanding of the Divine over and against the Christian liberals and modernists with their demythologized, rational understanding of the Divine. Surely we can understand and empathize with the fear and anger they must feel, when their precious beliefs are being threatened not only from the secularists outside their churches but also from the more enlightened brothers and sisters within their own tradition? These conservative religionists are not ready to grow in their spiritual life, and they will resist all efforts to change and adapt.

In the Bible, it is said: "I am the Lord thy God ... Thou shalt have none other gods but me." And therein lies the witness of the spiritual heritage of the Isrealite people at a particular stage in their collective spiritual evolution. It is also the ethnocentric conceit of every religion at the level of mythic-level belief. The God of the Isrealites supposedly hated and opposed the gods and goddesses of every other tribe. And the hatred and opposition by other gods and goddesses was generally mutual. And today, much of the world remains at mythic-level religious belief or lower on the evolutionary ladder. Mythic-level believers fight holy wars over which god or goddess is the One True God.

The mythic-level approach to faith isn't the only alternative. Rational-level believers also recognize on some level that there is One True God, One Absolute Reality, or Great Spirit. What separates them from the mythic-level believers isn't believe in God, but the question of whether or not that belief is limited merely to a particularistic, ethnocentric revelation. There is One God, and that Being has many faces.

So what are the more enlightened Episcopalians to do? Their understanding of God has moved beyond the primitive sky god worship into a more sophisticated understanding that the Divine's work in human history can actually include not only revelations in the Bible but also the authentic spiritual experiences of pagan traditions. Indeed, they may even see positive traits in the pagan religions that are missing in much of otherworldly Christianity, including affirmation of the beauty of human sexuality and the goodness of the earth and all of creation. Shall they abandon Christianity to the primitive literalists and fundamentalists? Or shall they put up a fight?

As the battle lines in the Episcopal Church get drawn, it looks like the conservative religionists are in for a fight. The battle is indeed over more than homosexuality or the inclusion of feminine imagery in liturgies. The battle is between factions of a religion who are operating at two radically different levels of consciousness--mythological-believing conservative religionists on the one hand, and rational-minded religionists on the other.

God bless them all. And I pray that they will find their way to an understanding of God that is big enough for both of them. God, after all, is not merely found in the truths of the mythic-level religionists and the truths of the rational-level religionists. The Great Mystery that goes by the name of God or Spirit includes all their truths, and many more besides.

Halloween: Our Gay High Holy Day

As Halloween approaches my clients see how much I love the holiday as my office is decorated generously with pumpkins, fall leaves, a Bates Motel sign, a ghost, body parts scattered around, Chucky doll in a casket, and more.

I often call Halloween the Gay High Holy Day. There are a few high holy days and if you are Gay Orthodox you must commit to closing your business and considering the day as a Sabbath or consider yourself a sinner.

Some of the other high holy days in addition to Halloween are when Cher, Diana Ross, Madonna, Bette Midler, and Barbara Streisand come to town. This year, on the gay calendar, in Michigan, the days are coming closer together and I could not be more excited. Halloween is October 31, Diana Ross is coming to the Opera House on November 18 and Cher is coming to the Palace on November 20, 2004. Gay neighborhoods will be ghost towns as we flock to our places of worship to see these divas.

Of course I am dating myself mentioning these particular divas. However, I am gay orthodox and must follow the gay bible which is to close down shop at sunset on these days and pay respects to these beautiful gay icons! I suggest you do the same if you want to go to gay heaven.

Reject My Mother's Bigotry, says lesbian daughter of Christian Coalition president

A great editorial called "Reject My Mother's Bigotry" by Tess Fields appears in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Here's how it begins:

I am the daughter of Sadie Fields, president of the Christian Coalition of Georgia. I was appalled by the column my mother wrote justifying her bigotry, and I feel compelled to respond ("Can't let the few hurt society as a whole," @issue, Oct. 25).

The first time there was a definitive split between my mother and me, I was in the seventh grade. My best friend's name was Lisa. She was Jewish. Concerned about what our pastor had stated about Jews in the afterlife, I went to my mother and asked her if Lisa was going to burn in hell. My mother's response, "If she does not accept the Lord Jesus then yes, she will go to hell." Right there, she lost me. I have disagreed with her ever since.

I was 24 years old when my mother, through a series of mishaps, found out I was gay. My mother came over to where I worked, screaming, and told me I was "dead" to the family. She called me "sick," "crazy" and "of the devil." She said that I would never see my family again.

For more than five years after that day, I heard nothing from my family. No birthday cards, no invitations to Christmas or Thanksgiving events. It wasn't just the loss of my immediate family that was difficult, but the loss of my extended family as well. Since my mother refused to be in the same room with me, it forced my aunts and uncles to choose sides. I have not been to a family reunion in more than a decade.

Continued... Thanks to Andrew Sullivan for the link.

Outing: A Spiritual Dilemma

Note: This column incorporates some material originally posted in this blog.

SOULFULLY GAY - VOL. 2, NO. 2

By JOE PEREZ

Have you ever received a private e-mail and struggled with whether it would be okay to forward it to others? When I faced this dilemma recently, I made a choice that helped me understand the spiritual dimensions in the debate over outing.

I had attended a retreat where I was the only openly gay man among all the participants. A controversy arose and I spoke out about an incident of heterosexism that I witnessed. Afterwards, the participants of the retreat discussed the controversy by e-mail.

One heterosexual man sent me a couple of private e-mails that I saw as containing rude and heterosexist remarks. I knew I was in trouble when I read the first paragraph of his e-mail. It began with the tell-tale sign of the homophobe: "I am not at all homophobic," he said, before telling me about how many gay friends he has.

I wanted very much for this man to send his e-mails not only to me, but to everyone who attended the retreat. I thought it would raise a healthy discussion. However, the man declined to give me permission to forward his e-mails. Perhaps he was afraid of being judged a homophobe or bigot.

I faced a fairly common ethical dilemma involving privacy. On the one hand, I felt offended by this man's insensitivity and rudeness, and part of me wished that I could expose his beliefs to everyone. I rationalized that sharing his e-mails could raise consciousness about the heterosexism that gay people face every day.

Jewish Religion supporting Marriage for Gays and Lesbians

In Michigan we are about to have a proposal voted on to ban marriage for gays. We already have DOMA and yet we are one of 10 states to have proposal two which would be a state constitutional ammendment. I am always amazed when people use religion against gays. Being a Jew, I know that Reform Judaism and Reconstructionist Judaism states marriage for gays and lesbians is valid. Here is what I posted in my most recent newsletter.

Why You Should OPPOSE Prop. 2

On October 9, 2004, the Jewish Community Council publicly announced its vote to oppose Proposal 2, which will be decided by Michigan voters in November. The Jewish Community Council (JCC) represents Jews from all the denominations of Judaism who take a variety of different and sometimes opposing religious and political positions. The overwhelming consensus of the JCC board of directors was that passage of Proposal 2 would enshrine discrimination in the Michigan Constitution. Below are some of the reasons why Jews from all perspectives and sides of the political aisle oppose Proposal 2. a discriminatory amendment to our state constitution would set a frightening precedent for Jews.

Proposal 2 obstructs Rabbinic Discourse.

Rabbis and leaders from all denominations of Judaism are currently taking a long and sober look at previously unaddressed issues surrounding gay and lesbian rights. The Reform and Reconstructionist movements have already endorsed same sex marriage. The Conservative movement is engaged in profound and painstaking deliberations and halachic discourse on this subject, and numerous Orthodox leaders have called for increased compassion and understanding towards gays and lesbians.

The Central Conference of American Rabbis of the Reform Movement endorses the affirmation of same gender couples through appropriate Jewish ritual, based upon resolutions in support of civil marriage for gays and lesbians.

The Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association "opposes all efforts to ban civil marriage for gay men and lesbian women."

The Social Action Committee of the Conservative Movement "supports full equality for gays and lesbians in national life".

Proposal 2 ignores the Torah's pursuit of justice.

The Torah teaches us to fight injustice. Over the centuries, Jews have fought for the underprivileged, the oppressed, women, the handicapped, and gays and lesbians. Two thousand years ago the rabbis dared to reinterpret statutes in the Torah in the interest of underlying Jewish values. In extending Deuteronomy's injunction tzedek tzedek tirdof (justice, justice shall you pursue) to more and more of humanity, we are intensifying the work of Tikkun Olam.

Proposal 2 would write discrimination into the State Constitution. For the first time, the Constitution would be used to single out a group of people for unequal treatment under the law. The Constitutionally protected separation of church and state, which has guaranteed Jews a place of dignity and protection under the law, is being eroded.

What's bad for gays is bad for Jews.

Homosexuals were targeted in Nazi Germany with the same blind hate aimed at Jews. When we perpetuate a climate of hatred, we become the objects of hatred. Both the Jewish people and the values we carry are most likely to flourish in a world that recognizes the worth and dignity of all human beings. In the words of Rabbi David Ellenson, the President of Hebrew Union College:

The desire that full rights be extended to lesbians and gays reflects the Jewish belief that gays and lesbians are human beings created in the image of God. The time has come for that truth to guide our culture, and religious Jews should not be hesitant in saying so. Until the day arrives that our gay and lesbian friends enjoy full rights, we who are religious should not rest. When that day of liberty and freedom arrives, justice will at long last roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

The Love Drug

By Joe Kort, MSW

Often people describe the beginning of relationships as a spiritual experience. An experience that takes you higher as Diana Ross sings in her club song. The bonding and attachment you feel to this other person suddenly helps you feel bonded and excited to everything else in your world. So why is this? Many reasons exist and this article will pose one of them.

When you look across a crowded room and spot that hot guy often you think you found the man of your dreams. Usually, it is lust that you are feeling—a purely sexual sensation, until you start to talk to him and get to know him. And suddenly you fall into romantic love.

Our society focuses primarily on romantic love and calls it real love. Movies, books, songs on the radio, television all make us feel that if we cannot sustain this feeling, then we’ve “fallen out of love.” Many believe that this rapturous emotion should never end and that keeping the “high” of the connection going should require little to no work at all. That’s just not so. If you two are lucky, this physiological state of infatuation lasts from six to 18 months, tops.

For most people, romantic love is the best part of their relationship. With the selection process in the hunt for love seemingly over, it’s so easy to just lie back and enjoy the ecstatic feelings and the bonding experience. But as an emotional experience, romantic love is simply the doorway to any relationship. Its main purpose is to bring two people together in an emotional “time out” when both partners can feel their sameness, overlook their differences and experience a feeling of euphoria.

Romantic love is nature’s anesthesia. During this stage, people often say they feel drugged. If depressed, they report being less so. If suffering from an addiction, they will experience a diminished craving or feel entirely “cured.” Love’s a stimulant, too: Someone who needs a lot of sleep finds he can suddenly operate on less. And a sluggish sex drive it will ratchet up to match a partner’s higher libido.

The sense of elation, exhilaration and euphoria that new lovers feel is mostly due to their bodies producing a natural amphetamine called phenylethylamine (PEA). So, yes, if you feel drugged, it’s because you are! Most people don’t know that as we fall in romantic love, nature floods us with chemical cousins of amphetamines like PEA, dopamine, norepinephrine—all natural stimulants and painkillers. When PEA is first released, it is actually at its most potent state, which is why people never forget their first loves. This is also what promotes addictions to sex and love, in people who are constantly seeking to access this natural high. The problem, just as with most other addictions, is that each time it’s released, it becomes less and less powerful and lasts for a shorter period of time. But it’s not meant to last. Again, its only purpose is to connect two people to begin the bonding process.

We gay men cherish this time even more than our heterosexual counterparts do, since we’re so often warned that we’ll never find love, that the gay culture is based on promiscuity and short-term hook-ups. So when romantic love hits, it’s like a long-forgotten uncle remembered you in his will.

Alas, it’s only a temporary state that's supposed to end. But people, not knowing this, do all they can to keep it from ending. Some people break it off just to make up again and reactivate those early feelings, plus the PEA. Others use drugs and alcohol to try and make the feeling to stay around—or at least, replace it. Still others decide that relationships “shouldn’t be so much work,” so they dissolve it in disillusionment—or else they have sex with others to bring back that PEA feeling. Too many gay men see the inevitable twilight of romantic love as like confirmation that we cannot enjoy sustained love, that the heterosexists and homophobes were right. But this is another misconception. They are not right, and that’s not so.

Some cultures (India’s, for example, where arranged marriages are still the norm) don’t even aspire to limerence, because they’re aware that it’s not based on reality. If you find a guy who you think is the man of your dreams, just understand that real love involves three stages; and that your first two years together are not necessarily a positive indicator that he’s the right one for you. It’s good to enjoy PEA, as long as you understand that it’s not what real love is all about. This is important because if you go with your feelings while high on PEA, the stage of romantic love ends, you could walk away from the relationship of your dreams.

Was Abraham Lincoln gay?

Was Abraham Lincoln a lover of men? A book by the late Dr. C.A. Tripp called The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln will suggest that the answer is yes. The evidence reported in an article by the LA Weekly is surprisingly strong, including intimate letters to men with whom Lincoln shared a bed, published accounts of gossip, and even a poem written as a teenager. The subject of the poem is marriage between two boys. Here's the poem:

I will tell you a Joke about Jewel and Mary

It is neither a Joke nor a Story

For Rubin and Charles has married two girls

But Billy has married a boy

The girlies he had tried on every Side

But none could he get to agree

All was in vain he went home again

And since that is married to Natty

So Billy and Natty agreed very well

And mama’s well pleased at the match

The egg it is laid but Natty’s afraid

The Shell is So Soft that it never will hatch

But Betsy she said you Cursed bald head

My Suitor you never Can be

Beside your low crotch [slang for big penis] proclaims you a botch

And that never Can serve for me

"Tripp notes that the stanza beginning "The egg it is laid" suggests that "Abe was well aware of the term ‘jelly baby.’ Originally from Negro vernacular, the phrase soon came to be used by whites as well: slang denoting what uneducated folk imagined . . . as a ‘pregnancy’ from homosexual intercourse . . . As a poem, Lincoln’s rhyme of course is a mere trifle, except that it is perhaps the most explicit literary reference to actual homosexual relations in 19th-century America — more explicit certainly than anything Walt Whitman ever wrote about the ‘Love of comrades.’"

Thanks to Andrew Sullivan for the link.

Hope for Community: A Report from Between the Worlds

It has been over a month since I’ve returned from Between the Worlds, an alternative spiritual gathering for gay, bi and questioning men held over the autumnal equinox at a private campground in southeastern Ohio. It has taken me that long to process my experience there.

Christopher Penczak, NeoPagan author of several books, including Gay Witchcraft, The Inner Temple of Witchcraft, and Magick of Reiki, summed up his experience at the event in an article on his website:

Between the Worlds itself was amazing. I know I get excited about a lot of things, but I've never attended an event quite as empowering or transformative as this one. Between the Worlds is a gathering of Queer Pagan Men for the purpose of coming together in community, education and celebration. People came from all over the country - from the Northwest and California, from Denver, Nevada, from the Midwest and the East coast. The paths represented were diverse, from traditional Craft and Minoan Brotherhood to eclectic witches like myself, as well as Thelemites, Norse pagans, shamans, techno shamans and quite a few that defy category or label.

HOMOSEXUALITY AND PEDOPHILIA: The False link

Due to the rise of anti-gay violence and negative accusations toward us these days as gay marriage approaches, I thought I would publish an article I wrote here for the "In The Family" magazine last year about homosexuality and pedophilia in case you run into anyone who erroneously links the two.

HOMOSEXUALITY AND PEDOPHILIA: The False link
By Joe Kort, MSW

Originally published in “In the Family” magazine Fall, 2003

Q: I've heard therapists say that a male adult who sexually abuses a boy isn't necessarily ‘homosexual.' This seems confusing: If he isn't homosexual, then why would he sexually molest boys, instead of girls?

This is a very good question, and there are several ways to respond to it. First, we need to clarify our definitions. When discussing sexual abuse and molestation of children, there's often conflict over terminology. One frequently quoted researchers on the topic of homosexuality and child molestation, Gregory Herek, a research psychologist at the University of California, defines pedophilia as "a psychosexual disorder characterized by a preference for prepubescent children as sexual partners, which may or may not be acted upon." (http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow and http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow//html/facts_molestation.html) He defines child sexual abuse as "actual sexual contact between an adult and someone who has not reached the legal age of consent." Not all pedophiles actually molest children, he points out. A pedophile may be attracted to children, but never actually engage in sexual contact with them. Quite often, pedophiles never develop a sexual orientation toward other adults.

Herek points out that child molestation and child sexual abuse refer to "actions," without implying any "particular psychological makeup or motive on the part of the perpetrator." In other words, not all incidents of child sexual abuse are perpetrated by pedophiles. Pedophilia can be viewed as a kind of sexual fetish, wherein the person requires the mental image of a child--not necessarily a flesh-and-blood child--to achieve sexual gratification. Rarely does a pedophile experience sexual desire for adults of either gender. They usually don't identify as homosexual–the majority identify as heterosexual, even those who abuse children of the same gender They are sexually aroused by youth, not by gender. In contrast, child molesters often exert power and control over children in an effort to dominate them. They do experience sexual desire for adults, but molest children episodically, for reasons apart from sexual desire, much as rapists enjoy power, violence and controlling their humiliated victims. Indeed, research supports that a child molester isn't any more likely to be homosexual than heterosexual.

In fact, some research shows that for pedophiles, the gender of the child is immaterial. Accessibility is more the factor in who a pedophile abuses. This may explain the high incidence of children molested in church communities and fraternal organizations, where the pedophile may more easily have access to children. In these situations, an adult male is trusted by those around him, including children and their families. Males are often given access to boys to mentor, teach, coach and advise. Therefore, a male pedophile may have easier access to a male child. In trying to make sense of an adult male's sexually abusing a male child, many of us mislabel it as an act of homosexuality, which it isn't.

Feminists have argued for years that rape is not a sex act–it is an act of violence using sex as a weapon. In the same way, a pedophile abusing a child of the same sex is not perpetrating a homosexual act, but an act of violence and exploitation using sexuality. There is a world of difference between these two things, but it requires a subtle understanding of the inner motivation of the abuser.

To call child molestation of a boy by a man "homosexual” or of a girl by a man "heterosexual" is to misunderstand pedophilia. No true pedophile is attracted to adults, so neither homosexuality nor heterosexuality applies. Accordingly, Herek suggests calling men's sexual abuse of boys "male-male molestation" and men's abuse of girls, "male-female molestation."

Interestingly, Anna C. Salter writes, in “Predators, Pedophiles, Rapists and other Sex Offenders”, that when a man molests little girls, we call him a "pedophile" and not a "heterosexual." Of course, when a man molests little boys, people say outright, or mutter under their breath, "homosexual. Herek writes that because of our society's aversion to male homosexuality, and the attempts made by some to represent gay men as a danger to "family values," many in our society immediately think of male-male molestation as homosexuality. He compares this with the time when African Americans were often falsely accused of raping white women, and when medieval Jews were accused of murdering Christian babies in ritual sacrifices. Both are examples of how mainstream society eagerly jumped to conclusions to that justified discrimination and violence against these minorities. Today, gays face the same kind of prejudice. Most recently, we've seen gay men unfairly turned out of the Boy Scouts of America on the basis of this myth that gay men are likely to be child molesters. Keeping gays out of scouting won't protect boys from pedophiles.

In reality, abuse of boys by gay pedophiles is rare, and the abuse of girls by lesbians is rarer still. Nicholas Groth is a noted authority on this topic. In a 1982 study by Grot, he asks, "Are homosexual adults in general sexually attracted to children, and are pre-adolescent children at greater risk of molestation from homosexual adults than from heterosexual adults? There is no reason to believe so. The research to date all points to there being no significant relationship between a homosexual lifestyle and child molestation. There appears to be practically no reportage of sexual molestation of girls by lesbian adults, and the adult male who sexually molests young boys is not likely to be homosexual." Herek writes, similarly, that abuse of boys by gay men is rare; and that the abuse of girls by lesbians is rarer still.

The topic of female-female molestation continues to be largely ignored. There are few books on female sex offenders, particularly about mothers sexually abusing their daughters. I can find no books on mothers who sexually abuse their sons. There is one handbook by Hani Miletski, M.S.W., entitled, “Mother-Son Incest: The Unthinkable Taboo.” Unthinkable is an appropriate word--so much so that there is nothing else in the literature on this topic, even though female pedophiles and female child molesters certainly exist.

We know so much more than we did historically and yet have a long way to go. We can understand child sexual abuse further when people's bias and prejudice are removed and the evidence is empirical and scientific.

Ruminations on the Resurrection

Did Jesus Really Rise from the Dead? The Soulful Blogger Traces His Spiritual Growth from Answering "No" to "Yes"

In addition to frequent posts on this blog, I also maintain a personal weblog called The Soulful Blogger. Recently on my blog I wrote a three-part series of posts on my spiritual journey and beliefs concerning the resurrection of Jesus. I have also written two posts responding to readers of my blog who commented on the posts. The blog posts include a discussion of the connection between my Christian faith and homosexuality.

Here are the posts called DID JESUS REALLY RISE FROM THE DEAD? FOUR BLOG POSTS, FOUR DIFFERENT ANSWERS:

Post 1. I described how, in the course of approximately ten months, my outlook on the resurrection of Jesus changed from unbelief to belief.

Post 2. In Part Two, I give a theological label to my shift in perspective--a shift from rational-level belief to transrational-level belief (or, a move from first-tier to second-tier consciousness).

Post 3. In this conclusion, I describe a shift in my thinking on the topic of "subtle energies," and how this led to a belief that Jesus actually rose from the dead. I also begin to explore the implications of this belief for my spirituality and life.

Bloggers Respond to my Ruminations. I link to and respond to four bloggers who commented on my original post.

Responding to David Morrison on the Resurrection, Catholic Moral Theology, and Homosexuality. I criticize a conservative religionist's argument that belief in the resurrection of Jesus provides the grounds for rejecting active homosexuality.