How to tell if you're living in a Red or Blue state

How to tell if you are living in a Red State or one of those "demon-infested" Blue States. Link courtesy of the Landover Baptist church.

Blue States: Home of good schools
Red States:  Homeskooled good
 
Blue States: Favor electric cars
Red States:  Favor electric chairs
 
Blue States: Forget that God did not give Adam a Steve
Red States:  Forget that not only did God give Abraham three wives, He gave Solomon 300 concubines
 

Blue States: Believe God loves us and gave everyone free will to be different
Red States:  Believe God willed us to freely hate everyone different
 
Blue States: Believe absence makes the heart grow fonder
Red States:  Believe abstinence saves the tart from plunder