MyOutSpirit.com Gay Spirituality Blog

Around the blogosphere: HIV positive bloggers rise up

Regan's HIV Blog- "Sisters Rise":

I think the formula for helping women rise above HIV is simple. We can borrow from the old Breck shampoo commerical from the '70s (the young women at UPenn will have no idea what I'm talking about). It goes like this: A woman with luxuriously shiny hair (she just washed it with Breck) flips her cascading mane around while claiming that she "told two friends, who told two friends, who told two friends and so on and so on" until the whole world of women with access to a grocery store knew about the wonderous nature of Breck shampoo.

Sean's HIV Blog - "The Return of the Living GRID"

Return of the Living Dead not only entertained the most morbid corner of my humanity, the movie also inspired my first post-diagnosis inner-dialogue of resurrection. Maybe, just maybe, if AIDS struck me down I too could come back from beyond the grave to extract a little revenge on those who were free to live a life of debauchery. As my teenaged peers dreamt of making sweet love to the Playmate of the Year after a hot date, I fantasized about eating her brains after a brisk chase through an eerie, decrepit cemetery.

HIV and AIDS News - "Research Finds No Advantages In 4 Drug Regimen"

Adding a fourth drug to the existing three drug antiretroviral treatment, for the initial stages of HIV has not shown any benefits, according to a U.S. study that covered some 765 patients for three years.

Joe's HIV Blog - "How Much Are You Willing to Pay?"

Until you really take a hard look, you will not know just how much you are already sacrificing. Once you slow down, you will be amazed at how much energy you expend in dealing with day-to-day living, add to that dealing with your infection and you can be on verge of mental meltdown. If you think you can ignore major issues and not pay a price for that, you are sadly mistaken. Stress can and does kill and its effect on pozzies health is well known.

Return of the Green Pebble

By Keith Adams

Last year I had a major manic attack at the end of which I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Throughout the manic episode, which lasted several months, I blogged, and, even posted an essay on this site. Now, fully medicated, and stable, I’m learning day by day, how to live a full life despite the illness.

In a blog entry What Happened Part V – An Encounter With the Void, I describe how I stumbled upon meditation – without at first recognizing it as such – to get me through a horrible night. And in an earlier posting on this website, I wrote an essay called The Green Pebble, recalling how the object I used for meditation took on even more meaning for me afterwards as it led me into discovering a link to my father, and, perhaps, a greater sense of spirituality in my own life.

David Morrison's Sed Contra, a Retrospective by Joe Perez

I've been perusing my old stomping grounds on the web and came across a blast from the past. More than three years ago, I had a blog-a-log with conservative Roman Catholic and same-sex attracted David Morrison. The conversation began here and continued here. If I recall correctly, I had the last word.

Times change, though if we were to judge growth by the appearances of our blogs, it seems that perhaps I've changed a bit more than David. David's still got the same Sed Contra blog, a traditionalist Roman Catholic spirituality blog with frequent incursions into moralizing against "the gay lifestyle," and various other (mostly sexual) sins in US culture and the world at large. He does it in a way that's somewhat less snarky and cruel than the ordinary way it's done in the RC blogosphere, so he should be appreciated for that. Sed Contra is cultural critique, 1950s style, wrapped in 00's accessories. I hope I don't sound too negative--actually if Sed Contra weren't any good I wouldn't include it on Until's color-coded blogroll (see sidebar of Until). In a blogosphere in constant motion, Sed Contra never seems to change.

Roseanne Inspired Questions and Reflections about Identity and Politics

This post was motivated by a quote of Roseanne Barr’s that I came across earlier this week. Among other comments during a radio interview, she opined that “Never once in my 54 years have I ever once heard a gay or lesbian person who's politically active say one thing about anything that was not about them. They don't care about minimum wage, they don't care about any other group other than their own self because you know, some people say being gay and lesbian is a totally narcissistic thing and sometimes I wonder.” Clearly a controversial and not a comprehensive claim, but one that I believe is a useful jumping off point for some self reflection by the LGBT community. (Since this comment, she has apologized, obviously. But its still a useful stimulus for some self reflection.)

 

Are gays and lesbians narcissistic? Do they care about any issues other than LGBT issues? Do they care about the minimum wage? All of these questions require nuanced answers that could go on for some length, and rather than try to answer them in the brevity of a blog post, I’d like to explore a few definitions that allow us to use these questions for self-reflections as individuals and a movement and hopefully provoke some interesting discussion.  Indeed, while this post is largely sexuality focused, I find that many of the questions I ask myself also resonate with my religious/spiritual identity as a Christian. What is a Christian issue? How do I as a Christian confront issues differently than other Christians? Etc.

 

First, lets think about what makes an issue a “gay and lesbian issue.” To do this, lets look at the different issues that are associated with the black civil rights movement and the LGBT civil rights movement. As Earl Ofari Hutchinson noted in Jesse Jackson Can't Help Obama on www.thenation.com: “A Democratic presidential contender must not be afraid to dump strategies on the nation's public policy table to combat the astronomically high black unemployment rate, soaring incarceration rate for black men, the HIV/AIDS plague, and failing public schools, as well as a plan for a drug and criminal justice system overhaul. These are the issues that stir the political juices of most blacks.” With the exception of HIV/AIDS, these pressing social issues aren’t issues that many would associate with the LGBT rights movement. There seems to be growing interest in public schools within the LGBT rights movement, but its focused on anti-bullying campaigns and sex/health education, not the achievement gap. (Yes, gays and lesbians may care about many of these issues, but I’ll get to that later. For this point, I’m looking at what is perceived as a gay and lesbian issue.)

 

One might thus be tempted to posit that a “gay and lesbian” issue is one that affects gays and lesbians specifically. If we take that as a working definition, then we need to think about how an issue can affect gays and lesbians specifically. Does it have to affect all gays and lesbians, a majority of gays and lesbians, or can it just affect a few gays and lesbians? Let’s consider an issue like the “soaring incarceration rate for black men” mentioned by Hutchinson, which would include black gay men. Are those black gay men enough to make the issue also a “gay and lesbian” issue?

Third Way report: focus on the 'grays'

By Joe Perez

A new report on public attitudes towards sexual orientation and same-sex marriage hits Huffington Post today. Here's a short clip:

The Third Way report found that heterosexual Americans fall into roughly three equal size categories when it comes to gay issues. The "pro-gay polars" strongly support equal rights for gays and lesbians and do not attach any moral value to sexual orientation. Most of these individuals have come to this view over time and believe that the transformation in their thinking reflects significant insight, understanding, and personal growth. The "anti-gay polars" believe that being gay is "unnatural and against God." They tend to view gays as "societal outlaws." Although they generally oppose violence and bigotry directed against gays, they fear that extending equal rights to gays and lesbians would "put America on a dangerously wrong path." The third group, the "grays," are conflicted. They are torn between their desire to be tolerant, fair, and respectful of individual liberty and their lingering discomfort with homosexuality. The "grays" tend to accept that sexual orientation is not simply a matter of choosing a lifestyle, but they worry that "society is moving too fast."

The Third Way report concluded that those who want to move public opinion along the path toward greater acceptance of equal rights for gays and lesbians should focus particularly on the "grays" and should emphasize three points: (1) Legal protections for same-sex relationships address a real, not a made up problem. (Interestingly, a majority of Americans (56% v. 39%) do not believe that same-sex couples lack significant legal protections.) (2) The legal recognition of same-sex relationships does not undermine the institution of marriage. (Perhaps ironically, at a time when fewer and fewer Americans are marrying, there is a concern that the legal recognition of same-sex relationships could be the death knell for the institution of marriage.) (3) The legal recognition of same-sex relationships represents progress for the nation. (Although 70% of Americans believe the United States will legalize civil unions within a decade, almost half of all Americans worry that this is not progress. They are concerned that greater acceptance of gays and lesbians could cause the erosion of moral standards and damage to children raised in such families.) These are all serious political concerns that merit a serious response.

In the end, the goal, in my view, should be to enlighten all Americans to understand that the legal recognition of equal rights for gays and lesbians is an appropriate extension of the American ideal of equality and the proper next stage in the nation's long and admirable struggle to provide equal treatment to all persons, regardless of race, religion, gender, national origin, disability, and now sexual orientation.

My bold added in final paragraph for emphasis. I think this approach is sound and generally resonates with my own strategy recommendations in Rising Up. The essential point is that our community's messaging needs to be targeted to specific communities, with an emphasis on specific communities where the message can have the most dramatic benefit on policy and attitude changes.

Beyond Ex-Gay: An exciting new resource

I just became aware of an exciting new website which is doing desperately needed work for queers of faith and spiritual queers. Called “Beyond Ex-Gay,” it creates “an online community for those who have survived ex-gay experiences.” The creators of this site have really taken an approach that can productively confront the ex-gay movement, support those who have suffered because of the ex-gay movement, and help to spread the message that religiosity and queer identity are not mutually exclusive.

 

In my experience, almost every attempt to confront the ex-gay movement attempts to discredit so-called reparative therapy on scientific grounds. Meanwhile, the ex-gay movement continues to parade examples of “cured” homosexuals and to mix science with religion in ways that make true scientific discourse virtually impossible. As a result, I have yet to see any serious progress in efforts to confront the ex-gay movement. Those who do not support queer identities continue to see reparative therapy as a viable alternative for queers, those who support queer identities continue to see their detractors, especially the religious Right, as nut jobs who rely on pseudo-science. While its important to challenge pseudo-science with real science, I feel the debate over the ex-gay movement has begun to sound like a broken record.

“Beyond Ex-Gay” goes in a different direction. Rather that trot out scientific studies, they rely on personal narratives and personal experiences. Indeed, the ex-gay movement relies very heavily on people who can go around claiming to be cured. And Beyond Ex-Gay recognizes that there are people for whom the whole ex-gay thing seems to have worked. Rather than try and confront those for whom it has worked, they focus on the experiences of the many people for whom it didn’t work. Take this brilliant quote from their FAQs: “If someone is genuinely happy in pursuing an ex-gay life, then we wish them the best. Such a life is not possible for most of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people we have met, and in pursuing one has caused more harm than good.”

This sort of online community building has many powerful potentials. By building a community of survivors and a collection of narratives, it provides a powerful, personal challenge to the ex-gay movement. By building a visible challenge to the ex-gay movement, it can be a life saving resource for those questioning their sexuality or gender identity and for those trapped in reparative therapy or other ex-gay “treatments.”

 And lets not forget to always include the personal side to our own outreach efforts. If we want to change the minds of those who see the ex-gay movement as a viable alternative, we need to remember to keep things personal. The need for things to “feel” right informs how most people accept ideas. If a theological principle, social scientific theory, etc. goes against our own experiences, we’re likely to reject it, no matter what the evidence, and instead look for evidence to support our own experiences. Just look at how productive debates about evolution, intelligent design, and abortion are when we try and ground them in science. Like debates about queer identity, they all devolve into arguments grounded more in personal beliefs, convictions, and experiences than in objective fact. Personal narratives, the sharing of experiences, etc. are how to change hearts. Once someone’s heart is changed is when we need the scientific facts and resources to reinforce their new convictions.