Thoughts on the passing of an anti-gay preacher

GLBT reactions to the passing of the Rev. Jerry Falwell are a fascinating study in contrasts. One of the most balanced and decent statements came from Matt Foreman, head of the NGLTF. He said:

The death of a family member or friend is always a sad occasion and we express our condolences to all those who were close to the Rev. Jerry Falwell. Unfortunately, we will always remember him as a founder and leader of America’s anti-gay industry, someone who exacerbated the nation’s appalling response to the onslaught of the AIDS epidemic, someone who demonized and vilified us for political gain and someone who used religion to divide rather than unite our nation.

That seems to strike just the right chord. Humane in its sentiment and yet unfliching in characterizing Falwell accurately as the "leader of America's anti-gay industry".

Queerty does a round-up of the GLBT reaction. Kudos to the blog for including this rather balanced and humble sentence: "Yes, he had his moments of insane roaring, but for the most part, the late reverend took a measured approach to his bigotry. He may not have been the most progressive figure, but he's certainly someone who should be remembered as an effective leader, intelligent politician and, most of all, someone who made the country debate some seriously heavy issues."

Other reactions were closer to pure anger and contempt, even at a sacred moment of a man's death. Gay City News does a roundup of some of the loathesome comments by gay activists who couldn't help but revel in glee.

Some members of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and other far-bizarre groups (bless their souls) held mocking and irrelevant celebrations of Falwell's death. I hope the juvenile self-expression felt good to them, because I can't for the life of me think that such street theater held any other constructive purpose other than the venting of rage. Unless, of course, the purpose is to make statements by the NGLTF look measured and civilized by contrast.

Criticizing Falwell's politics and bigotry is fair, whether he's dead or alive. But allowing the worst instincts of anger and contempt to set the tone for any person's passing is simply immature at best.

Those would would dance on Falwell's grave would do well to ask themselves how their loved ones would feel were they subject to such ridicule at a time of their grief. Doing unto others as you would have them do until you is not an easy teaching of spirituality, but it seems the appropriate one in this case.

Spirituality should involve treating others with respect in moments such as the passing from life into death, even if those others haven't always treated you or your group with respect. "Love your enemies" is hard counsel to accept, but it is the calling of our better natures.

Comments

[Lisa R]

I know in my heart that God has a wonderful sense of humor.....I do suspect that the Rev. was forced the 1st night in heaven to dine with Rock Hudson and perhaps Liberache......realizing then that we are just like other human beings trying to find our way in life one step forward at a time....

[The Golem]

There was no blessing in this person's life and to mourn his death, simply because he was notorious would, for me, be hypocritical.

He made sure that is survivers are well enough fixed. I mourn the money he wheedled out of poor folk, selling them the false coin of hatred and claiming it came from G-d.

How many queer kids were murdered this past week with little notice taken of their passing? I only mourn that the market for hate will soon be filled by another hukster.

[ASilkenTent]

I am currently reading your Soulfully Gay, and have been checking in on your blogs. I just wanted to get in on this discussion.

I think it is possible to humanely hold several emotions at once--both empathy for a family that is grieving the loss of its father, and at the same time, relief, anger, happiness, that at least one man, who repeatedly denied the human worth of several groups of people, is no longer able to continually spread his bigotry. The two perspectives can be held by the same person at the same moment.

"Some members of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and other far-bizarre groups (bless their souls) held mocking and irrelevant celebrations of Falwell's death."

I find this to be a bit condescending, really. To say that SIPI's expressions, because they are different than yours or mine, are irrelevant is really dangerous, especially in light of what you have written in this blog and in others. After all, who are they hurting? No one. But they do give voice to those who need, for a moment, to be angry and irreverent. After reading Soulfully Gay, I'm a little surprised by this particular reaction of yours.

Also, I'm a little concerned that you brand certain expressions of criticism as juvenile and immature. What would you say to the holocaust survivor who upon hearing that Hitler died, cheered and jumped up and down? What will you say to the millions of Cuban expats when they take to the streets dancing and singing at the death of Castro? That they should be mourning for Castro's brothers? That they are immature? Juvenile? Only acting upon their worse instincts?

It seems to me that men and women have felt continually downtrodden by comments, social and legal discrimination, and the entire worldview of evangelical protestantism, and oftentimes feel emotionally and spiritually assaulted by its absolute unacceptance of other people. That is a weight, as you can imagine, that is hard to carry compassionately. I would like to think that the "revelry" you have mentioned is more an act of relief than something genuinely malicious, and to hear it mocked ("bless their hearts"? I can imagine what tone that was written in and what it means as a cultural contextual slight), is troubling as well.

I do understand your invocation for a bit of perpective, especially when it involves our most sensitive cultural issues, among them death. But why does "mature" spirituality generally advocate for the supression of our emotions, especially our "worst" emotions? (I would argue that our emotions are neither good nor bad. They are what they are, and we can choose how to act upon them.) Why is "Love your enemies" supposed to be synonmous with denying what you feel and what you want to say. Christ loved his enemies, but he was angry A LOT, and he said so--often at very "inappropriate" times.

Matt Foreman was indeed quite eloquent and really gracious in his response. Such graciousness is too be commended. But not every one chooses to express themselves as Foreman. And I would argue that not everyone should (and this too should be commended)--at least for the sake of a little diversity that allows us, wherever we are in our spiritual paths, to feel safe in what we feel (for the moment).

After all, didn't Jesus overturn the money-changers' tables in the temple? Perhaps anti-memorials and raging blogs are nothing more than modern attempts to deal with life in the face of injustice.

Just a few thoughts...

I look forward to finishing Soulfully Gay.

[phil_in_ny]

I'm having a real hard time finding any sympathy for such an evil individual. To his family I send my regards, because even the biggest asshole's have good people that care about them.

[Alan]

Along with the angels in heaven I celebrate the arrival of Dr. Falwell to his eternal reward. Dr. Falwell was hardly a bigot. That is simply a slanderous smear from those who don't like his point of view. Dr. Falwell held out the gospel to all people, inviting them to repent of their sin and invite Jesus in -- whether it was dishonesty, hate, lust, or homosexuality. His love for those lost in homosexuality is well documented, and to suggest otherwise is simple prejudice.

As for the comment above: "I do suspect that the Rev. was forced the 1st night in heaven to dine with Rock Hudson and perhaps Liberace" -- I quite doubt it, unless of course these two men repented of their sin and received Christ before they died. If that is the case, all three of them will be celebrating Christ's forgiveness of their sin -- of which homosexuality is certainly a part.

But if Hudson and Liberace refused to acknowledge their sin before they died, they will not be dining with Rev. Falwell in heaven, I can assure you. A simple reading of 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, and Revelation 21 will confirm that.