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« Honoring GLBT Christian pioneers | Main | Matthew Shepard: A gay martyr remembered 10 years later »

October 10, 2008



This is from my journal, from August 2006. I was realizing that my life was taking a turn, that I would be coming out to my church for the first time. I tried to capture a snapshot of my feelings, and how I viewed the realities of being gay in my denomination. Since that time, I have processed my thoughts a bit more. These reflections remain true for me, but more like I’m looking through a wide angle lens. When I zoom in on individual relationships and encounters I can see that the larger picture is indeed moving–although very slowly–in the direction of love and grace.

For now, my silence buys me a place in the safety of the 99, but as I begin to speak my truth, I step into the vulnerability of that 100th sheep. The shepherds of our church are not really going to come looking for me, though. They say that they will stand with me, but only up until that point where they have to take a stand. Then, they will look away, pretend not to see, say a shamed prayer of petition that I will quietly leave.

I am not the coin of great worth. As this prodigal is walking up the road to her spiritual home, there are no servants of my God running to greet me, to welcome the authentic me home. I will be worshipping in the same house with the family of God, but to many will no longer be known as a sister. I don’t know what grace will be afforded me. I don’t know who will be able to accept my reality, my presence, my servanthood.

I do believe that our leaders long to be true to the call and obligations of the kingdom, but the poverty of our spiritual lives limit that response. In the economy of our church today, it is the 99 sheep, not the Good Shepherd, who calculate the worth of the 1. The cost of accepting the truth of the outcast is too high to attempt. We will lose our illusion of unity, we will lose our ignorance of the boundaries we place on God’s love, we will lose our status within the kingdom of Christianity.

My shame is that I support this economy as well. I am not willing to endanger the body of Christ to save the outcast, even when it’s me. I am painfully aware that my actions and inactions are prolonging the estrangement of my gay brothers and sisters, and I knowingly compromise their worth for the non-confronted comfort of my congregation and denomination.

My prayer is that by becoming visible, I will help the church to better see Christ’s this-world redeeming love. In a way, I am the found, seeking to draw the 99 more fully into the Light of God’s grace.


wow....i'm stunned.


I need a prayer,a prayer to ask god y he made me lyk this(gay)was he doing n experiment with me..If he ws then y me..Y me from 1000's of people in this world!!! Plz help me..


who can know the mind of God? who can give Him advice?

about all you can be sure of is that He knows you better then you know yourself and that He loves you more then you love yourself. trust in Him, He knows what he's doing and it is for your best.

exalt in His gifts and bear His burdens, try to love Him as much as He loves you and it will all come together. may He bless you with all His love and all His hope. pj

John Myers

For Those Who Face Coming Out:

Our Heavenly Father who knows all desires and from whom no secrets are hid, we pray for our gay brothers and sisters who live in fear and uncertainty that they might lose the approval of man. We love you, Lord. We pray that you will lead us to love EACH neighbor as we love ourselves.

We pray for each gay brother and sister, that you remove fear and loneliness from their hearts. As we are young in love and young in Christ - bless us with your peace. Be with each of us in our time to try on the Rainbow Vest. Make it a shield to the adversity of man, and a mirror of your never-ending love. Bless us to find a good fit.

And be with us, Lord, the lovers, friends, family, supporters, who wear the Rainbow Vest for those who cannot wear theirs today. Bless us all and remind us of your greatest commandment on which hang all others: Love. Love.

Through Christ our Lord.



Nice day.I need a prayer,a prayer to ask god y he made me lyk this(gay)was he doing n experiment with me..


God doesn't do experiments dear. He made you the beautiful, wonderous creature you are on purpose!

Amazing Grace...Father of this, your own dear child, to love themselves as you love them. shine Your light on this heart that it may see You, the Love of the universe, the Maker of all, the One who is ever so proud of all Your creation.

take away this pain and suffering, replace it with peace and acceptance.

in Jesus' name i pray. amen


about all you can be sure of is that He knows you better then you know yourself and that He loves you more then you love yourself. trust in Him, He knows what he's doing and it is for your best.


It would be amazing to cover the whole scope of LGBTQ personality and History, by studying all of the people who have been healed by their faith.

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