I can't say I'm a fan, but like many of my LGBT friends, I'm watching your show, The A-List New York, on LOGO.
Some people call it a guilty pleasure, some call it a train wreck into to a Prada store (or should that be a Marc Jacobs remainder sale?), but to me, The A-List just perpetuates the worst stereotypes about gay men, that we are narcissistic, fashion-obsessed, money-grubbing, elitist bitches.
But YOU, my brothers, you are not one-dimensional stereotypes. You are complex, breathing, emotional, talented, successful gay men trying to make the most of their lives. In so many ways, you have the fabulous lives gay boys dream of when they're praying "It gets better."
And you're in so much pain.
You feel so alone, you feel so unworthy, and you want love so badly. Your pain erupts in every episode - fights, judgments, fears and tears. It's hard to watch; I don't enjoy it, but I try to use you as a mirror to work on these issues within my own life.
I don't know what any of you believe, but the remedy to your pain is spiritual. Physical health and beauty, financial security, solid love relationships, even therapy, will not, in and of themselves, end your pain.
Life is suffering, but there is a reason you suffer and a way for you to make it stop.
Love and Fear are struggling for dominance in all our lives. Where Fear separates you from other people, the world around you, and the Divine, Love connects, Love heals, Love unites. Judgment is an expression of Fear. Criticism is an expression of Fear. This means Bitch is an expression of Fear.
A Course In Miracles tells us that, "To the ego, the body is to attack with. Equating you with the body, it teaches that you are to attack with." Once you realize that you are not your body, that you and the person you were going to attack are both one with the Divine - "Children of God" - it becomes clear: attacking another is attacking yourself. And what is there for you to defend if you are one with all that is?
I'm sure you're familiar with the concept of karma, but let me tweak how you think about it. Karma is not the cosmic version of the Christian "Book of Life" or Santa's "Naughty or Nice" list. Nobody's keeping track of how good or bad you are. Karma is fundamentally about choices between Love and Fear.
"Bad karma" means you've done things to reinforce your self-concept as alone and separate from everything - choices that strengthen or defend your ego, in other words. You accrue "bad karma" when you take actions or think thoughts based on Fear.
But when you start to focus on Love in your thoughts and actions, it burns off that bad karma. You do not feel alone anymore, because you are deeply connecting with other people. You don't feel that deep, secret feeling of unworthiness anymore, because you have finally begun to love and affirm yourself. You don't have to prove your importance to anyone by flashing your abs or your Vuitton, because you are able to rejoice in fitness and fashion without using them to separate or elevate yourself.
Right now, write on a piece of paper "I am nothing but dust and ashes" (Ani afar ve‘efer). Place that paper in your pocket and think about it whenever your hand brushes it. Now take another piece of paper and write on it, "The entire Universe was created just for me" (Bishvili nivra ha’olam), and place it in your other pocket. As you meditate on both realities at the same time, you'll realize both are true.
You can choose to start focusing on Love right now. Heal your life. Make it better. And do it on national television; we're all watching.