In considering what to write in my first entry to this blog, I reviewed the posts from other writers over the past few months. I was in awe over the level of political and social awareness, and how passionately these contributors tackled their subject matters. I felt insecure, as if I wouldn’t be able to contribute any similar-such informed content.
The following letter is shared with permission. It is an email by Paul Browde, a participant at the Gay Spirit Culture Summit, to the other participants, written on the day after.
Dear All,
It was a magical day today. I really looked at people. A fellow psychiatrist at the clinic where I work said to me after I told her about the summit...."thanks for the gift of your having walked into my office today". I made sure to tell the queer men I work with about our weekend.
I also stood in line in the supermarket and allowed a man in front of me. He turned to me, and said. "you are so blessed".....I asked him what he meant, and he said "your patience. There should be more like you".....and I thought "there are!!, so many more!!"
......and then tonight I saw a young man for a medication evaluation. I knew him as a queer boy immediately. I asked him, and he told me yes, but nobody knows. He hates himself. He will not go to the LGBT community centre. He will not go to the gay section in Barnes and Noble. He told his parents he was confused about his sexuality, and they sent him to a therapist whom they hoped would help him through the phase..........I listened and told him that he wasn't alone. I will see him again next Monday, and will work with him slowly, and make sure he's taken care of.....and all this against the background of starting David Nimmons Book and feeling so proud, and crying on the subway as I recognized myself and my community on those pages.
Thank you for an extraordinary experience.
Love and peaceful restorative sleeps to you all.
Paul
After all the hard work on Saturday, the evening brought time for networking, friendship building, and frivolity. Some intrepid souls organized activities such as dancing, bodywork and massage, and an erotic ritual.
Sunday morning opened with a time of prayer organized by men from Christian faith traditions, followed by breakfast, and a few hours of closing activities. There was about twenty or thirty minutes for men to make any final remarks to the whole group. Also, there was a guided visualization and an opportunity for us to listen to a message from Spirit and share those messages in small groups. This was also a final opportunity for our small groups to convene.
The Fuzzy Fruits met for the last time and shared the gifts that we are taking away with us from the summit. We also spoke about our future goals, and talked about how we could help or support each other in making those dreams come true. I'm looking forward to opportunities in the future for visits to New York, Detroit, Long Beach, and Boston... the homes of the other members of my small group, for mini reunions.
Finally the summit closed as it began, with a ritual involving song, smudging, releasing the directions, and story telling from Native American traditions. Clyde Hall led us in the ritual.
So... that's it for now. After the summit: a train ride from Garrison to Grand Central Station, followed by a cab ride to JFK Airport. A final happy surprise: I got the opportunity to share the forty or so minutes in the cab with a man at the summit who I hadn't yet connected with, and had a great conversation. I got a bit of a nap on the flight to Seattle, and still got home in time to feed the cat and do a load of laundry. Anyway, that's it for now... I may have to say after some time has passed. Just a quick note for now to say: the first-ever Gay Spirit Culture Summit is a wrap!
Today the summit got down to business. This was the time for beginning to bring the ideas and creative energy from Day 2 into action. A theme of our work was to develop action plans to take the ideas to the realm of action. Numerous working groups were convened on any topic where there was energy, and each group produced action agendas that specified steps to take in 3 hours, 3 days, 3 weeks, and 3 months from the summit. Folks from the summit will be putting together a document to describe the visions and ideas to come from our work.
Here's a list with some of the main themes and topics that were discussed:
On Thursday night, the summit wrapped up its "ice breaking" exercises and introductions. After dinner, we were led in a group exercise to connect us to erotic energy in a safe way that strived to respect the boundaries of each man at the summit. Afterwards, the group broke into our 18 smaller groups to "process" and discuss the previous exercise.
Friday was a full and busy day where the summit moved into articulating visions, dreams, and convening discussions on a wide variety of topics. Every man had the opportunity to convene a group discussion on a topic of his choosing. When men had described the topics they wanted to talk about, the discussions were divided into three separate time slots, so men could attend up to three different discussions (or float between various groups of interest).
The discussion topics ranged from discussing ways to move beyond separatism to exploring the question of what unique gifts gays bring to spirituality and religions. Some topics allowed men from specific faith traditions to meet, or explore issues such as race and ethnicity that cut across a variety of traditions. Several topics explored youth and elder issues, music, art and performance, intentional communities, and topics peculiar to areas of the country. Some men brought a topic based on the work they do in the community, such as healing, religious ministry, or erotic workers.
When not participating in small groups, some men enjoyed the beautiful weather and outdoors near the Hudson River. Some men were interviewed on videotape by an ethnographer who is also a participant at the summit. The ethnographer is recording the summit as an event of historical importance in the history of the gay movement, and he spent time taping the stories of men. He is considering producing a documentary feature based on the interviews and other material from the summit.
I attended three sessions yesterday. In the morning, I convened a group to discuss applications of Ken Wilber's philosophy, Spiral Dynamics, and integral theory to contemporary gay issues. Later in the morning, I attended a group of writers who shared about the work and issues common to writers. In the afternoon, I attended a group focused on HIV/AIDS issues. This group was convened by two men who've created a performance piece that explores ethical and social questions related to HIV/AIDS, such as "who owns the stories?" Their piece was inspired by an actual situation in which a man revealed his own HIV status and the status of another man to a mutual friend.
After the small groups met yesterday, the entire summit met once again. This time, there was an opportunity for men to briefly report back to the larger group a few thoughts or impressions related to the day's work. The group also took the time to honor the (self-identified) elders in attendance. Afterwards, the group returned to our small group. My own small group, the Fuzzy Fruits, shared our experiences from the day. I enjoyed hearing about the experiences of men in groups that I didn't attend. I heard from Joe about a group he convened to discuss the role of sexual fantasies in the lifes and healing of gay men... it also sounded like there was an interesting discussion surrounding the topic of reforming institutional religion from within and moving work into the broader gay community.
The day ended with a dinner that included traditional elements from the Jewish faith, organized by Jewish summit participants. Afterwards, men participated in an evening ritual organized by various participants. The ritual blended elements from African and pagan practices and included storytelling, dancing, drumming, and singing. Many men dressed in "traditional pagan attire." There was also an opportunity for elders to provide a blessing for the queer youth. There were also "post-ritual" festivities including parties and an experiential process involving erotic massage organized by Joseph Kramer and men from Body Electric.
About 125 men have gathered in Garrison, NY, for a summit of leaders involved with gay spirituality. Today we ate lunch followed by an opening ceremony where we gathered in a circle and cultivated a sacred space. Elders sang songs from their own Native traditions and led us by honoring the energies and spirits of the directions. After the opening ceremony, we took a break, and then connected with another man one-on-one. We shared the feelings and thoughts that are "alive for us," our intentions for the summit, and the fears we are bringing here. Afterwards, we learned more about the group as a whole: men shared their names, cities where they're coming from, and faith traditions (both the traditions of our upbringing plus our current inclinations).
When we were done in the large group, we broke into 18 small groups of about seven men. My own group named itself the Fuzzy Fruits (every man in the group wore a goatee, moustache, or beard). Together we are Jacob, Haynes, David, Ramon, Greg-Eugene, and two Joes (both of whom, coincidentally, are also writers whose work appears on this blog). The grouop is quite diverse, actually: we include two Latinos (myself included), two African-American men, two Jewish men. We are also geographically diverse, hailing from the West Coast (Long Beach, CA, and Seattle, WA), the Midwest (Detroit), and the East (Philadelphia, Boston, Washington, DC, and The Bronx, NY). The men in the group are doing amazing work around the country... I am so impressed. A few are leaders of faith communities, including a priest and a rabbi. We include writers, psychotherapists, and community organizers/activists.
The night's still young... just got out of dinner, and more's coming up. The conference is off to a great start...
I flew in last night from Seattle into JFK airport, and then took a train from Grand Central Station to Garrison, NY. At the train station, I met a handsome man from San Francisco and my gaydar went off. I introduced myself and he said his name was Kirk. He also flew in yesterday for the Gay Spirit Culture Summit that begins later this afternoon. Kirk and I are among the earlybirds who arrived on Wednesday evening. Toby Johnson and Kip Dollar arrived on the next train, having just arrived from Texas. The four of us crammed into a car and a few minutes later we arrived at the Garrison Institute, a retreat center overlooking the Hudson River in a former Capuchin monastery. Patrick McNamara, the summit organizer, arrived to save the day (apparently there are no taxis in Garrison).
A couple slices of pizza later, I was in better spirits, though still dragging from lack of sleep the night before. Met more earlybirds, men from Albuquerque, Iowa, London, and two more men from San Francisco. After eating a bite, some of us smudged the space with sage as we held the intention to invite Spirit into our midst. After a dip in one of the hottubs (are we spoiled or what?) and a good night's rest, I'm ready for the summit to begin.
It's nearly noon, men are arriving, and the summit is scheduled to begin within hours. We are here to connect, to learn, to share, all invited to give our gifts to others and discover what gifts Spirit has in store for us.
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