MyOutSpirit.com Gay Spirituality Blog

Autism, Shamans, and Love

I just had the amazing opportunity to attend a pre-screening of the movie, The Horse Boy. It is the true story of a Texas couple and their son’s journey on horseback through Outer Mongolia in an attempt to heal their son’s autism.  Rupert Isaacson, a writer and former horse trainer, and his wife, Kristin Neff, a psychology professor, sought help for their son, Rowan, who was diagnosed with autism at the age of two. They went to numerous doctors and tried many medications, but all traditional therapies and medications had little effect on Rowan. They discovered that throughout Rowan’s tantrums, many of which could last as long as four hours, that the one thing that helped Rowan remain calm was when he was with horses. Rowan had a natural affinity to animals and he could poke and prod the animals and their response would be a gentle, quiet stillness.

Rupert and his wife discussed bringing Rowan to shamans in Mongolia for healing. Rupert had worked with shamans before through his work as a journalist in Africa. He thought if he could bring Rowan to healers who would work with him and experience their horses, this could possibly bring about a cure. The movie revealed a profound insight into the world of the autistic mind. It showed the courage of parents who traveled half way around the world for their child – only to wonder at various points if the trip was really for Rowan or for them. The movie showed the vulnerability of parents and the everyday uphill battles of living with an autistic child. Rowan gave all autistic children a voice of hope and love.

I do not wish to reveal everything about the movie (it’s playing at the IFC theatre in Manhattan September 30 – October 1 www.ifccenter.com) I do want to say that this powerful movie shows how children can relate to their parents, to the land, to animals, to shamans, and to the world in new ways.  As Isaacson said after the movie ended, “Many cultures have shamans – Africa, Mongolia, Australia, the Rainforest, and the America’s. When you ask shamans from around the world to share their various healing techniques, they all share the same response – love. It’s all about directing love.”

I sat through the first 30 minutes of this movie crying. I was crying for a little boy who had no way of expressing himself except long screaming tantrums. I was crying for the parents who were doing everything they could to help alleviate the suffering of their son. I was crying for family and friends who have been through their own journey with autism. I was crying as a gay shaman who has spent years offering my gift of love to the world for greater healing. At the very end of the night, Isaacson spoke to the audience and told us what he was able to learn from this experience. He told us he didn’t want a cure for autism. He wants healing. Isaacson said that he doesn’t want his son to suffer, but that he wants him to keep his personality – that is what makes him special. This really is a remarkable film about a family’s extraordinary journey, adventure, shamanic and human experiences. Most of all, it is a story of love.

If you are unable to see the movie, I encourage everyone to go and purchase the book, The Horse Boy. 

Abundant love and healing, Mary Anne

This is dedicated to Rupert Isaacson, Kristin Neff, and Rowan for sharing their remarkable story as a testimony of courage and love as well as to the shamans throughout the world – seeking to direct­­ love and consequently healing. This is also, dedicated to the many families who seek healing for their autistic family members.

RICK WARREN COMES OUT FOR GAY RIGHTS

This SHOULD have been the headline around the world after the Rev. Rick Warren, Pastor of Saddleback Church and author of The Purpose Driven Life, gave this significant interview to Beliefnet.

Unfortunately, a misunderstanding of Warren’s comments has been widely and loudly disseminated by my fellow progressives, describing Warren as bigoted and hateful, when, in fact, his comments reflect an unusual depth of understanding about gay marriage as a civil rights issue.

Warren may be, as The Task Force warns, an outspoken opponent of reproductive choice and stem-cell research, and that should concern us, but he has never equated marriage between same-sex couples with incest and pedophilia.

In this video, posted on the Saddleback website on December 22, the Sunday before Christmas,  Warren says, flat-out, "I believe no such thing. I never have."  In the video, Warren explains again that he has always firmly believed that gay couples – and other non-traditional families – should have equal access to the rights and responsibilities of marriage.  He just doesn’t think it should be called “Marriage.”

Does this necessarily mean he is ready to give up his legal marriage and go to the wall for civil unions for everyone, as MyOutSpirit.com wondered in “Reconsidering Marriage: Are Gay Activists Fighting the Right Fight?”

Probably not. 

At the same time, framing this passionate and unrelentingly civil Christian leader as a hateful bigot in the style of Jerry Falwell is unacceptable and counter-productive.

I take that back.  Attacking Warren is only counter-productive if you value dignified and thoughtful coalition-building for the long-term success of our movement for the equal rights and recognition of LGBT families.

If your priority is increasing year-end fundraising, riling up your base, or keeping your issues in the news, then attacking Warren makes perfect sense.

We should be better than that, especially as spiritual LGBT people.  We should educate our community to have deep perspicacity about our issues, and to have the maturity to do the long-term work of creating change.

LGBT activists from around the country will convene in Denver, CO, at the end of January to train and network and get inspired at The Task Force’s Creating Change conference, and I hope the messages that emerge will reflect the world as it is, and not the twisted sound-bites and caricatures that too often define the discussion, as in the case of Rick Warren.

Let's resolve to do better in 2009.

Love,

Clayton

P.S. Of course, these are MY views and do not neccessarily reflect the views of MyOutSpirit.com or its 1,000+ members and resources.

EnlightenNext Pursues the Next Women's Liberation

EnlightenNext (then called "What is Enlightenment? Magazine) started this deep conversation in 2007 with their first "Woman" issue, which is HIGHLY recommended reading.  Click here to check out the back issue.

MyOutSpirit.com encourages lesbian, bi-attractional and trans women to join in the conversation by writing emails, comments and letters to EnlightenNext and participating in events.  Whatever your gender and sex, we should ALL follow this deep work; the implications are really transformational. 

Learn more about everything EnlightenNext does at EnlightenNext.org.

OUT Magazine Asks: Has MANHUNT Destroyed Gay Culture?

The September 2008 issue of OUT Magazine features a powerful article of interest: "Has MANHUNT Destroyed Gay Culture?" by Michael Joseph Gross.

Gross' article focuses on Manhunt.net, a site for men-who-have-sex-with-men (MSM) and the fastest growing gay website in the world, with over 1 million members and more than 400,000 unique visitors per month, all  in the USA alone - and the site serves some 100 countries. 

More importantly, the article considers how online cruising has changed gay urban social life by, for example, driving human interactions from physical spaces to virtual ones and encouraging the "pornification" of gay self-expression.   

Apparently, one UK study found that in 1993, 2.3% of gay men found their first male sex partner online; by 2003 that number had risen to 61.2%.  OUT quotes Jeffrey Klausner of the San Francisco Department of Public Health: "It means that gay men who were once socialized in brick-and-mortar establishments, surrounded by other people, are now being socialized online."

The question for conscious, spiritual LGBT people then becomes, "Is that virtual socialization creating a community of healthy, self-actualized MSM?"  The answer seems to be an obvious "No."

As Gross puts it in OUT, "If you were asked to design the perfect weapon to exploit this vulnerability as it manifests in attractive, urban gay men, you'd want something that would intensify our isolation, exaggerate our propensity to objectify ourselves - by encouraging us to believe that our purpose is to look good and have lots of sex."

Isolation.  Objectification.  Lack of genuine communication and community.  These should be issues of real concern to spiritual LGBT people, especially to LGBT-affirming body/mind/spirit resource providers like those listed on MyOutSpirit.com. 

So much of our work is about affirming that LGBT people (in this case, MSM) are so much more than just bodies - that we are not only physical/sexual, but intellectual, emotional, social and spiritual beings.  The hardest part of the job, it often seems, is convincing LGBT people themselves of that truth. 

Gross writes, "The most powerful secrets we keep on Manhunt aren't the ones we keep from the outside world.  The most powerful secrets on Manhunt are the ones we keep from ourselves.  Practically every gay man has his own version of this secret, which we learned to keep while growing up in the closet: the secret fear that, if we were truly known, we would never be loved.

"...When you came out, you did it because you wanted something," Gross continues. "Part of what you wanted was sex, but part of what you hoped for was the possibility of being loved as your true self." 

As always, online or off-line, we are choosing between Love and Fear, living fully or shrinking from our potential, shining our light or hiding it under a bushel.

I won't ruin the whole article - there's a lot more there ripe for discussion and consideration, and I hope you will choose to leave your comments on the article at OUT.com as well as in response to this post. 

With the near ubiquity of online cruising among MSM, it's important that conscious LGBT people like the readers of this Gay Spirituality Blog look directly at the problems that virtual socialization may cause and how we can remedy them before it's too late.  That said, we also have to be realistic - online social networking, cruising...these things are not going away.  We need a BOTH/AND solution, not an EITHER/OR solution.

"We need to put our heads together and try to figure out what we want normative social life to look like.  Whatever the answer turns out to be, it will involve creating social structures that serve and gratify our desire to have sex with each other and also promote and support the possibility of developing and sustaining intimate relationships."  I would add to Gross' call for our attention: whatever the answers are, they must consider the development and well-being of the WHOLE person, not only sexual and romantic.  And frankly, there's no time to waste.

“Our mission is to be a catalyst for positive, caring gay culture by supporting inner transformation, increasing definition & visibility of the emerging culture and changing what it means to be gay.”  Join us.  Join MyOutSpirit.com

Remember who you want to be at MyOutSpirit.com

"Oh God I'm Gay!" Podcast

"Oh God I'm Gay" was a 2007 weekly audio podcast with host Alicia Ross introducing you to a variety of accomplished community and spiritual leaders from all different faiths, backgrounds, and points of view.  All of the episodes are still available online.  In them, Ross aims to gain insight into her guests' unique spiritual journeys while exploring relevant social issues that affect the LGBT community. Notable guests include Rev. Dr. Mel White from SoulForce; Orthodox Rabbi Steven Greenberg; Ann Craig from GLAAD; David K. Mensah of Wave Training; transgender pastor, Drew Phoenix; Jay Bakker (son of Jim and Tammy Faye); and Angelika Torres a transgender singer/dancer.

You can listen to individual programs HERE.

Today's the day to Come Out Spiritually!  Join MyOutSpirit.com! 

The Beginning: Equality Ride 2008

So, this is officially the beginning of me blogging for the Equality Ride. I'm honored to do so, and hope that my words and stories will depict what is needed to be shared.

We are less than two months away from loading the bus and confronting the fear that easily arises in people when they're about to encounter a opposite view from their own. I just hope the response from both sides will be that of love and acceptance. We are all God's children and we are all human beings. Not one of us is greater than the other. No one has all the answers, I don't claim that my opinion is 100% right and approved by God. God is mysterious, his ways are higher than our ways, and his thoughts are higher than our thoughts.This is part of the conclusion both sides must come to.

I'm excited to be a part of this years Equality Ride. I've been able to meet and get to know my fellow "Riders" and they are absolutely amazing. I look forward to spending two months on the road with them. However, before we can even load the bus we must raise the money to go. That is why on August 31st in Nashville, TN you join me at Aerial for my fundraiser event. There will be a DJ to provide the dance music along with the guest celebrity, Sixpence None The Richer who will perform a acoustic song. For detailed information on this event visit, www.myspace.com/azariahsbenefit. If you can't attend but would like to help please go to www.soulforce.org/azariah_southworth to donate .

Thank you for reading and I look forward to bringing the Equality Ride to you through my blogs.

Before I go, remember that God loves you. As Paul states in Romans “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

It is only you that can ultimately separate yourself from the love of God. Don't allow people's opinions of who God is and what his word says determine whether you allow yourself to experience his love.

Take care,
Azariah Southworth

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EDITOR'S NOTE:  Popular Christian tv host, Azariah Southworth, was quickly fired when he came out as a gay Christian a few months ago (read our blog about it).  Among the many projects he is working on now, he is taking the time to go on Soulforce's Equality Ride 2008, which puts young LGBT and Ally people of faith on the road (literally) to changing hearts and minds for equal rights and recognition.  Each rider has a fundraising goal of $3,500 to cover the expense of the journey - donate to support them all at http://www.soulforce.org/2008riders!  Azariah will be sharing his notes from the journey with MyOutSpirit.com's Gay Spirituality Blog!

Is Mike Myers Film "The Love Guru" Laughing WITH or AT Spiritual Self-Help?

The movie doesn't open until June 20, 2008, but people are already talking about THE LOVE GURU and Mike Myers' latest outrageous character, Guru Pitka, "the 2nd Best Guru in India."

As you can see in the trailer below, the movie will be laugh-out-loud funny - that just goes with the territory in a Mike Myers film - but will it be helpful?

Oprah caught so much grief in the 90's when she had a segment on her show called "Remember Your Spirit," but she continued to inspire the world, most recently in partnership with Eckhart Tolle (read about it here in O Magazine).  Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Louise Hay and others have achieved incredible success by helping people improve their lives, but many people still scoff at their work.  I have my own problems with "The Secret," but it's still helped millions of people feel more confident and focused and optimistic.

There are definitely ways to differentiate between what is helpful and what is not - for me, laid out most clearly in Ken Wilber's GRACE AND GRIT - and I would advocate that such discrimination is important.  THE LOVE GURU seems to point out the worst excesses of spiritual self-help, and maybe in that way will help people discriminate between what is actually useful and what is sugary slop!

Will Myers' horny guru do anything to help people in the real world or do you think the movie's mockery will take the spiritual self-help movement backward? 

How much can we laugh at ourselves?  Do we take spirituality too seriously?  THE LOVE GURU will be giving us the chance to hold it lightly!  Will you see the movie?  Does hearing that the movie is officially partnered with Deepak Chopra and Beliefnet (and that they asked MyOutSpirit for our input) change how you feel? 

JOIN MYOUTSPIRIT.COM NOW!

Ex-Gays Speak in CURE FOR LOVE, TV Premiere Saturday, April 12, 2008

Cure For Love is a new documentary about the "ex-gay" movement - a religious network whose goal is to help their members renounce homosexuality. The ex-gay movement now encompasses 120 ministries in the US and Canada and is active in 56 countries world wide.

The film follows two men who have experienced the ex-gay movement in different ways. One gets married, though he admits he is still attracted to men, and another struggles to embrace his homosexuality. The film premieres on Canada's Global Television, at 7pm Saturday April 12.

With startling honesty, the men tell their stories of struggle to reconcile their sexual orientation with their Christian values.

The film was written and co-directed by Christina Willings and Francine Pelletier. Christina is an Alberta-based writer and filmmaker and last week, Matt Forsythe of the National Film Board of Canada asked her a few questions about making the film.

It seemed painful for the Christian subjects to discuss their sexuality at times. What was the hardest part about interviewing these people?

I took myself outside between interviews and cried. Does that about cover it?

Seriously, the process was emotionally exhausting and wonderful at the same time. It was completely perfect that some of the subjects found the process of interviewing very healing.

This is the best possible scenario for me as a filmmaker. The hardest part was interviewing the 'practised Chrisitians' - it's very difficult to cut through the rehearsed testimonies and make authentic connections with people who are used to proselytising and/or defending their positions to people they are in the habit of mistrusting (non-Christians).

It was also difficult to see how little people value their own happiness, and their own right to sexual enjoyment/connection. Heartbreaking really. Evangelical Christianity seems to have as its underpinning, shame and chronic self-criticism - whether in the arena of sexual identity or not. After all...if we don't need redemption form our own sinful natures, then no one needs to die for us, and the bottom falls out of the whole thing.

The level of engagement that some Christian communities are taking with their gay members is suprising. What were the roots of Christian ex-gay organizations like Exodus and New Direction?

Christian communities are actually not engaging much with gay people. They have engaged with the 'threat' of same sex marriage and other progressive legislation initiatives in the past 10 years and have felt increasingly forced to deal with homosexuality - motivated primarily by the desire to "defend their turf". What this has meant for gay people within the church is that there is an opening of interest for them to stick their toe into and perhaps begin to engage people on a human level.

This actually mirrors the development of Exodus and New Direction [an ex-gay ministry] as both were originally organizations of a bunch of tortured gay people toiling away in obscurity before Focus on the Family identified the "homosexual agenda" as it's next big campaign and began to pump money into Exodus.

On the "left of the Christian right" are people like Brian and Anna - they work in the Canadian context where the battle is largely seen as having been lost. 

The key is that they are welcome as long as they are still seeking healing from their orientation.

The film shows two couples: one couple has “renounced” their sexuality and is apparently happily married and another couple has ceased questioning their gayness and accepted it. How did you find these subjects for your film?

Researcher Arlene Moskovitch found Brian and Ana through New Direction in Toronto. I found John and Darren and Ricky at Brian and Ana's wedding.

Are these religious therapy groups exclusive to Christianity or do we see these in other religions as well?

I have come across [similar] groups for Mormons and Orthodox Jews.
 

Cure for Love premieres on Global Television's "Global Currents," Saturday, April 12 at 7pm

The film will be released on DVDs and at festivals later this year. 

Cure For Love is produced by Earth to Sky Pictures Inc. in co-production with the National Film Board of Canada.

Gay Muslim Film Banned

The highly controversial and high profile documentary A Jihad for Love - the world's first feature-length film about Islam and homosexuality – has been banned by the censors from being shown at 21st Singapore International Film Festival where some 200 films will be screened.

The festival organizer told the Straits Times on Saturday that he was informed of the ban on Thursday over the phone by the Media Development Authority which oversees the censorship board.

A Jihad for Love was filmed over five years and in nine languages by India-born and raised director Parvez Sharma who traveled the world from India to Pakistan, Iran, Turkey, Egypt, South Africa and France to interview devout Muslims who are lesbian, gay or transgender to speak about their faith and their sexuality. In the film, a gay South African imam argues that homosexuality is not banned while another imam rebuts his view.

The paper quoted the chairperson of the board of Film Censors Amy Chua as saying that the film was “disallowed in view of the sensitive nature of the subject that features Muslim homosexuals in various countries and their struggle to reconcile religion and their lifestyle.”

About 14 percent of Singapore's 4.4 million population is Muslim.

According to traditional interpretations of the Quran, homosexuality is strictly forbidden and officially carries the death penalty in some Muslim or Muslim dominant countries including Iran, Saudi-Arabia, United Arab Emirates, Mauritania, Sudan and Nigeria.

From Soulforce: Ask Time magazine to check Dobson's facts about LGBT families

By John G.

I don't want to harp on Mary Cheney's pregnancy, even though it has caused quite the stir in both the gay and anti-gay press.  However, I got an email from Soulforce today that I want to spread around.  Accurate representation in the press is remarkably important for queers everywhere, as outlets like Time do so much to shape the national dialogue on social issues.

From www.soulforce.org:

In the December 18th issue of TIME Magazine, James Dobson responds to the news of Mary Cheney's pregnancy by once again invoking "30 years of social-science evidence" to support his claim that children do best "when raised by their married mother and father."

In spite of Dobson's reputation as a benevolent family therapist, his views on lesbian and gay parenting do not reflect the mainstream of American professional organizations concerned with researching and promoting children's wellbeing. In a 2004 policy statement, the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy reported "no evidence that same-sex couples or family units vary significantly from heterosexual couples or family units in terms of aspirations, hopes and goals, or in outcomes for children."