MyOutSpirit.com Gay Spirituality Blog

Essays on maleness by queer men sought

Here's a notice from QueerWriters.com that may be of interest to GS&C readers:

Gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer men's gender identities often exist somewhere outside the traditional categories of "masculine" and "feminine." Sissies, drag queens, and leather daddies alike play with gender in a way that cannot be accounted for in traditional understandings of maleness. This collection -- part blog, part anthology, part audiobook -- aims to shatter traditional understandings of maleness and point towards a new understanding of how queerness and gender intersect.

BEYOND MASCULINITY is looking for contributions in four key areas. Contributors should not feel bound by these categories - they should rather be seen as potential prompts:

Update on The ManKind Project

By Joe Perez

I've received great news. As I've previously noted, the ManKind Project Executive Committee has been discussing and working through issues related to the use of "reparative therapy" (techniques to attempt to change a person's sexual orientation) on some MKP trainings. The leadership has responded with an extraordinary reaffirmation of its commitment to including men of all sexual orientations and beliefs under the umbrella of this "order of men called to reclaim to the sacred masculine in our time."

MKP debates reparative therapy

By Joe Perez

UPDATED! SEE NOTES AT BOTTOM

[EDITED POST] The ManKind Project is an international men's organization that claims to be progressive and inclusive of men of all sexual orientations; however, as readers of this blog may be aware, the MKP's actions haven't always lined up with its words. In particular, the MKP's failure to disavow the use of "reparative therapy" in its officially sponsored trainings and events has sent a dangerous signal that MKP is "neutral" on the issue of the dignity of gay/bi men. And for gay/bi men looking for an organization with integrity, we can do better than supporting organizations "neutral" on our human dignity.

In response to a new comment on this blog from Cliff: as a member of MKP, I am aware of absolutely no progress on the issue of MKP's implicit support of (unlicensed and possibly illegal) "reparative psychotherapy" on its officially sponsored events. Since some men in some MKP communities have co-opted MKP trainings as vehicles for ex-gay therapies, this failure of leadership is particularly frustrating. I have in the past contacted Carl Griesser, the Executive Director of the MKP, regarding this issue, and I know many other gay/bi men who have also done so, but MKP has taken no action in nearly a year....

Gay men and masculinity

Gay men have an ambivalent attitude towards masculinity. The word comes up all the time in personal ads – you know, “masculine guy seeks same.” We often equate masculine with sexy. At the same time, many gay men privately worry they are somehow deficient in the manliness department, no matter how much time they spend at the gym.

So what is masculinity, anyway – a hairy chest and the ability to change the oil in your car yourself? Being congenitally unable to ask for directions when lost? Can you be “too masculine?” Is being a top somehow more masculine than being a bottom?

Brokeback Mountain

I saw the film this past weekend. I’m not going to attempt to review it; excellent reviews can be found almost everywhere. (A highly perverse review from the Traditional Values harpies can be read here).  Suffice it to say that it’s a very good flick and well worth your time and the price of admission. I read the short story before seeing the movie, and I thought the movie was faithful to the writing -- just expanding on it a bit here and there. I'm haunted by the film and eager to see it again.

Here in Atlanta Brokeback Mountain is showing in only one Midtown theater, although it’s showing on three screens. As far as I can tell, every screening was sold out all weekend. I’ve been going to this multiplex since it opened, and this is the first time I couldn’t find a place to park anywhere in the shopping center.  It's clear that the gay community has been very eager to see this story on the screen.

I've been very interested in reading reviews about the film. I think it's a good pulse-taking about how gay men are understood in society, or at least by film critics. The review have been positive, I think, but even then some writers couldn't resist nervous jokes about "gay caballeros" or "yippee yi oh ki gay."  This struck me as less homophobic than childish and over-anxious.

So much has been made of the "on-screen sodomy" that I was take aback (OK, a little disappointed) by how demure it was, really. So much attention has been paid to the sexual aspect of the connection between the characters, I suppose because people are astonished that two presumably straight male actors would agree to kiss for the entire world to see. But the story was about love, not sex. Typical; much of society looks at same-sex love and sees only "sodomy."

Beyond anything gay, though, I was struck by how the film explored masculinity and the other relationships between men. Other than the relationship between Ennis and Jack, all the relationships between men in the film were just cold and brutal. It is a bleak look at masculinity.

I’ve spoken with several people this week that identified with Ennis, the film’s shut-down main character. They spoke about how before coming out, life felt much like the one portrayed by this sad cowboy. I felt much the same, and am spending these days appreciating the 23-year-old version of me that faced down some big fears so long ago in order to make a happier life possible.

--John Ballew
  www.bodymindsoul.org

MKP, International Men's Organization, Torn Between Affirming Gays and Ex-Gays

Is The ManKind Project Out of Integrity?

The ManKind Project (MKP) is an international men's organization devoted to encouraging men to have "lives of integrity" and "reclaiming the sacred masculine in our time." MKP sponsors weekend-long trainings called the New Warrior Training Adventure (NWTA) that have initiated tens of thousands of men since the mid 1980s. The latest challenge faced by the MKP, according to internal organizational e-mails received by this author (a member of the organization), threatens to rip the organization apart along the lines of sexual orientation. Not straight men versus gay men. But gay men versus so-called "ex-gay" men who consider themselves to be suffering from the disease of unwanted same-sex attraction (SSA). The SSA men use the NWTA as an event to "repair" their "damaged masculinity," and often enthusiastically promote it as a part of reparative therapy programs.

A recent event that garnered significant attention within MKP was an e-mail broadcast to 6,000 members across the globe. Usually such widely distributed e-mails are limited to leader trainings and other significant, officially sponsored activities. However, in this case, an e-mail was distributed promoting a presentation by Joe Nicolosi at a men's group in Los Angeles. The e-mail praised Nicolosi as the "foremost authority on reparative therapy" and touted his biography including the presidency of the National Association into the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality and speaking at Focus on the Family functions. "It will be a respectful meeting not a debate or challenge to Joe," said the e-mail.

Woman Leads Muslim Prayers!

Another small step on the road to equality for women:

In rare act, woman leads Muslim prayers in N.Y.
Middle East critics accuse her of 'tarnishing' the faith

New Warrior Training Adventure for Fall 2004

The New Warrior Training Adventure is an invitation to step forward and look in the mirror. What do you see? Are you the leader that you are looking for? Are you living on the edge of your life? What stands between you and taking action in your world? What is the risk for you to take full responsibility for your life, for living it from the inside out? Do you have the courage to face your own fears and insecurities and discover the tremendous power and beauty that lies within you? Are you willing to step into the fullness of who you really are? Are you willing to discover the real joy and terror of being a man? If so, this training may be for you.

What's at the Core?

Recently, I did a search on Google for “male mysteries” and came up with a page of links to various websites. Most of them were for books by Wiccan or NeoPagan authors about getting in touch with the Male aspect of the Divine and the Divine Masculine inside us.

This made me think about my nature as a gay man. Is this any different than just being a man. I typed in “gay mysteries” and hit the search button, curious as to what I would find.

Men are learning to embrace feelings, author says

An article in The Plain Dealer describes a three-step plan for getting more in touch with feelings. Here's a quote:

"Feminism has brought about big changes in the way women see themselves and their roles," Kundtz writes in "Nothing's Wrong: A Man's Guide to Managing His Feelings" which hit bookstores last month.

"I believe [men] must admit that, on the whole, we are behind on that score. Women have embraced their guts; have we embraced our hearts?"