MyOutSpirit.com Gay Spirituality Blog

Gay Pride Important This Year

{by Rev. Paul M. Turner, Gentle Spirit Christian Church of Atlanta}

"We're here!"

For those who have watched the “Godfather” trilogy starring Al Pacino among many stars as Michael Corleone as the head of a powerful crime family will recognize the intensity of my quote to start this blog. Michael throughout the movies is portrayed as the good son, who is attempting to take the family business and turn it from a dynasty of crime to one of legitimacy. Almost at every turn there is some action by other crime families, which keep him from reaching his goal. This idea carries all the way to the third movie where we find Michael in a fit of frustration say: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.”

For the last several years I have said and thought “Gay Pride” had really lost it’s punch. It was no longer a large political, social and spiritual gathering bringing together hundred’s of thousands of queer folk to stand in solidarity for a common cause. In fact over the last several years it seemed to me “Pride” had become simply a major street party and a vendor’s dream come true. When the decision was made in Atlanta to move “Pride” from June to October, I thought, well, if it is going to be a party at least the weather is better!

Then much like in the “Godfather” movies, in step the religious and political right. Just when the community seems to making incredible progress on the road to equality the heat from the right gets turned way up. We begin to see headlines and tragedy from several parts of the country:

Homophobia, An Efficient Killer

{by Rev. Paul M. Turner, Gentle Spirit Christian Church of Atlanta}

 I guess it has been about 2 years since the Rev. Al Sharpton stood in the pulpit of Tabernacle Baptist church and gave this little gem concerning black clergy and the church:

“They preach homophobia from their pulpits Sunday morning and cruise the parks at night!”

I also remember after that service was over; this statement was stuck in my head.

Talking with some of my colleges and friends in the black community, I was informed not only was that statement true but also in fact there were any number of black clergy in the city of Atlanta who were an exact fit. “In fact, Pastor Paul, there are some pretty big and powerful preachers in the black church for whom Rev. Sharpton hit the nail on the head.”

I was dumbfounded.

I am sometimes naïve when it comes to the real world. I know a lot of politicians who would sell their own mother if it meant them getting elected and then lie about the sale, but pastors are and should be different right?

Apparently I am still somewhat of a heterosexist. Sure, there might be the whole hetro adultery thing going on in churches, but why would these very conservative, anti-gay preachers really take the risk of doing what they so virulently preach against - especially in such a small, talkative community?

Do they not understand if you beat us up long enough eventually we will expose you for who you really are?

Further, why would this small talkative community simply turn and take on the persona of “don’t ask, don’t tell?”

I have come to believe it is because homophobia is alive and well and more dangerous than ever.

“Homophobia” is the unreasoning fear of or antipathy toward homosexuals and homosexuality.

Which is why in a homophobic culture there is nothing worse than to be a homosexual or to practice homosexual behavior.  But strangely, the community seems to hold a different standard for black preachers as compared to white preachers. 

One might survive if they use drugs, one might survive if they misuse church funds and they might even survive if they are caught playing with the deacon’s wife. One survives these transgressions because “we all sin and fall short of the glory of God!” 

Remember the good Rev. Stanley of Peachtree Baptist? All was forgiven and forgotten. Bless his heart. Those who are part of the United Methodist Church know if a preacher is caught playing around in the congregation, come annual conference time the preacher is simply moved to another church. There is a long list of black preachers who are divorced or were divorced during their time in the pulpit and have survived rather nicely.

Yet, to cross the homosexual line and express homosexual behavior is the sin of all sins. This sin is the worst thing a person can do. One’s career, calling and respect in the community will be lost if they dare cross this line and get caught. 

There is nothing which will get the news Medias attention faster than a black male preacher who is caught having sex with another man. They jump on it with all the alleged details and leading statements of how horrific this person is. In very short order it becomes the subject of national news with powerful people weighing in with their knowledgeable (really lack of facts) opinions and attitudes. 

Of course if the accused person is anti-gay and is rather famous for attacking the LGBTQ community, then this just adds fuel to an already hotly burning fire.

Bishop Eddie Long ha been an ardent opponent of the LGBTQ community, even to the extent of having an “ex-gay” kind of ministry as a part of his mega church and who lead a huge march against gay marriage.  And now, Bishop Long has been accused not by one but four young men of stepping over the line into the sin of sins.

Now, I have to say for the sake of being honest, I have never been particularly impressed by the Bishop. Having Bentleys parked in one’s driveway, owning a private jet, and such excess has never struck me as the ministry of the gospel, but rather a ministry of prosperity and over-indulgence.

At the same time, his church claims 25,000 members! Damn, that is 9,000 more people than the town I grew up in.

If we do the math this also means conservatively speaking there are probably 1200 plus LGBTQ people associated with this ministry. 

Anyway, I digress. As I mention a few blogs ago the “victims” are already being blasted by the Bishop’s supporters. They are being called everything in the book and I would imagine before it is all said and done they will be painted as the predators of a powerful preacher. As I said before, this simply is the roots of homophobia rising to the surface…cause; well you know all gays are criminals.

Reports on the story have not said if the four young men themselves are gay or not. Before people write me and say this is not important…yes it is. Why? 

It would change the dynamics of the story from abuse of power to the possibility of a really messed up love triangle. There may be abuse of power but it would be a whole different animal at that point. A full day before the story broke, I got a heads up from a friend, “By the way, stay tuned, a very prominent local Bishop is about to be outed by his secret lover in a lawsuit.”

Now, please - if the way this story has been covered doesn’t prove how evil, how nasty, how un-repented and how dangereous homophobia is, then we are asleep.

It is true the Bishop set himself for a huge fall and made himself a target of people just dying to prove he is the ultimate hypocrite. 

Yet, the real problem here, the reason this story is so devastating is because of the homophobia that is intertwined all through it. This Bishop made a huge mark for himself with a ministry designed to destroy my (our) community. As a friend Craig Washington wrote in a column for “the Root”:

“Whether or not Long actually committed the acts of which he was recently accused, this much is true: He is assuredly guilty of engendering fear and hatred of LGBT people among thousands. He has convinced countless numbers of gays that they are sinners whose salvation rests on becoming 'reconditioned' into heterosexuality. Such toxic teachings reinforce the stigma that compromises HIV-prevention efforts as well as our mental and physical health.”

If the accusations are correct, there is a price to pay for such devastating hypocrisy. If the facts turn out to be something else, how will we deal with that?

While it is easy to be critical of how people live their lives, if these accusations turn out to be factual, will anyone ask or see how homophobia drove the Bishop to this moment. How, even knowing he had a gift to preach, he had to hide who he really was to pursue his career and calling?

Will the black congregations ever discuss their complicity in this drama, because the worst thing their preacher could do was be a homo?  Will the black church confront the ways it lives out “don’t ask and don’t tell” to the destruction of its young men every day.

If it turns out these accusations are really about something else, will my community stand and say to Bishop Long, “Hey we are really sorry we jumped the gun, cause you know you are such a jerk when it comes to our issues…well, we just wanted you to fall hard…sorry”.

Regardless of the outcome of this story, will we spend some time seeing how the devastating tentacles of homophobia wrapped themselves around the Bishop, the Bishop’s family, his friends, our community and as the outrage was expressed choked our any thought of compassion, understanding and love?

My friends this is a sad and heart breaking story, because it is really not about Bishop Long. The author of this story no matter how the facts turn out, no matter the drama unfolds, is Homophobia. It is a killer, it kills those who practice it and it kills those who internalize it. It sometimes kills those who fight it.

I think that may be why my friend Elder Tony Jones had this to say on his Facebook status:

“I reflect on Bishop Eddie Long and this recent matter, I am reminded of this one thing: Regardless to the outcome, unconditional love is still appropriate and necessary.”

My prayer is we all take heed; we all take a deep breath and take the Elder’s words to heart. For if we do, there is an opportunity here to begin to dismantle the destruction of homophobia and begin to heal.

{by Rev. Paul M. Turner, Gentle Spirit Christian Church of Atlanta}

Please support our advertiser, Sounds True:

The Day Fear Paid A Visit and Stayed

On September 11, 2001 at 8:50am my phone rang and it was our church deacon asking if I had seen the news. My day was just starting and I had not got through my first cup of coffee, let alone turned on the TV. He went on to say a jet airliner had crashed into the World Trade Center. “Oh my God, did a pilot have a heart attack, did something go wrong with the plane?” I was shocked and told the deacon I would call him back.

I turned on the news to see a picture of the World Trade Center and thick black smoke coming out of the side of the building. I don’t really remember what the reporter was saying when suddenly a large jet crossed the screen and slammed in the 2nd tower. I was stunned, I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen and in another 30 seconds or so my mind started asking questions…

Help Young Gay Leader's Work at the U.N.

He's already sailed the Cape of Good Hope with Archbishop Desmond Tutu, volunteered for a public health agency in Gambia, and is working toward his Masters from The Clinton School of Public Service.  Ryan "Ubuntu" Olson is an emerging LGBTI leader on the global stage.

Now Ryan has been awarded a self-funded internship at the United Nations. 

Once he raises the nearly $7,000 to cover his internship costs (click here to donate), Ryan will be assisting the Unitarian Universalist United Nations Office in educating the U.N. community, particularly their religious NGO colleagues, on LGBTI human rights issues and how to incorporate them into their advocacy work.

A coalition of LGBTI organizations, human rights groups, and Member States of the United Nations are laying the groundwork for a future U.N. General Assembly resolution that calls for the global decriminalization of homosexuality and affirms the dignity and worth of every human being regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Ryan will develop educational trainings and materials using his expertise in the Yogyakarta Principles - a universal guide to LGBTI human rights which affirm binding international standards with which all States must comply.  He will create manuals and media pieces, and facilitate dialogues on LGBTI issues.

I have already written in this blog about the growing danger to LGBTI people in the Developing World, particularly from the type of supernatural, fundamentalist, evangelical Christianity exploding in those regions. If you have any doubt about whether the threat is real, watch Vanguard's disturbing documentary, "Missionaries of Hate" about the "Kill the Gays" bill being considered in Uganda.  Ask the queer couple imprisoned, then released and disappeared in Malawi.  Ask Human Rights Watch or Amnesty International.

As important as our own struggles for equality are here at home, we have to support the work of brave souls like Ryan Olson who dare to address the life-threatening conditions facing LGBTI people globally. 

Ryan's spiritual, educational work at the U.N. will help ameliorate this crisis, and provide valuable insight for LGBTI human rights work everywhere.  He plans to take the skills and educational tools he develops through the internship with him when he returns to his organizing and human rights work in East Africa.

Please join me and donate to support Ryan "Ubuntu" Olson's internship at the United Nations.  Something like 10,000 people read this blog every month, so if just 7% of you donate $10, Ryan can begin his work in New York City immediately.  The internship needs to begin now, during the 65th Session of the U.N. General Assembly which begins on September 14, 2010.

 

The Faithful Heart of Tim Pruitt

O LORD, you are my God; 
I will exalt you and praise your name, 
for in perfect faithfulness 
you have done marvelous things, 
things planned long ago.

Isaiah 25:1 (NIV)

A few days after I graduated from high school, I went to Africa on a senior mission trip with my large church youth group from First Colony Church of Christ. We went to Mbarara, Uganda, where our church supported some missionaries. While there we helped to build a church by placing the foundation of sticks and by making mud with water brought up by hand and our feet. The mud was used as the walls for the outside and inside of the church. We had many outings into the villages and met with many of the locals to hear their stories about how they found God with the help of the missionaries there. During our time there we stayed in the villages with the locals. 

While in one of the villages outside of the town, I was asked to pray over a 4 year-old boy who was very sick. The very next day he died. 

Two days later while we were in the same village for church, the boy’s mother came in front of the small gathering and read Isaiah 25:1. She said that although she missed her son and wished he hadn't died she knew God planned this a long time ago and that he had special plans through her son’s death. That she could take such a horrible tragedy and turn it into something so uplifting was so inspiring that it never left my mind. 

During my freshman year of college at Harding University in Searcy, Arkansas, I began to have serious health problems. My heart was giving out and the doctors had no idea what was wrong. During this time I remembered the verse that was read in Africa: "O LORD, you are my God; / I will exalt you and praise your name, / for in perfect faithfulness / you have done marvelous things, / things planned long ago."  It became a verse that I continually thought to myself while going through all my problems. I knew the Lord was using me in ways I did not understand. After going through all I did, and coming out the other end alive when chances were very slim, I knew I was alive for a reason. 

In April of 2003, I got a pacemaker that changed my life. My health improved and I began to be able to start planning life again. Even though I still had some health complications, with seizures and sleep issues my life had improved tenfold. 

I am not the kind of guy that can shoot out Bible verses that relate to peoples problems or be able to remember every story in the Bible that could help someone with a problem they have come to me with. I am able to tell my story, to show people that no matter what they are going through, God is there by their side. No problem is too big or small in His eyes. You stubbing your toe and me having a heart attack are equally important to Him. Through it all and everyday since then, I am reminded of that verse; that's why I had it tattooed on my back (in Arabic). I am here and alive for a reason, I went through everything I have endured for a reason, and I will praise and exalt His name no matter what. If He has kept me alive to reach one person with my story and once I do, my work here is done, I am more than ready to go home to my Father tomorrow. I am the kind of guy that can sit at the back of the bar with someone and be more than happy to tell them about the wonderful things in my life that have come from such difficult times. There is no place that is too loud or crowded to tell someone about the amazing things God has done in their life.

My life now, seven years after getting my pacemaker, is more blessed than I could ever imagine. I recently moved to Austin from Arkansas to earn my Masters as a Child Life Specialist and have made some of the most amazing friends I could ever make. I joined the WAKA kickball league and have the privilege of being on the Shady Ladies Softball Team. I have been able to share my story and other experiences of my life with people I know will be lifelong friends. Austin is an amazing place that is accepting of all people. It is nice to know that even though things still happen that show hate, there are enough good people here to prove, every day, that love out weighs hate.

Photo by Kevin Garner Photography, Graphic Design by Eric Charping

Big Question: Gay Sex

[MyOutSpirit.com members share their "Big Questions" with the community, and the community helps them work out answers.]

fairwesr's Big Question is about gay sex:

"Understanding sexuality. I have yet to experience love with a gay man with a sense of wholeness and positivity. It feels important that I explore the sense of sexual attraction I feel so deeply, but only in a way which is spiritually and personally fulfilling and affirming. I set the intention for such experiences to be magnetized to me."

Log into MyOutSpirit.com to share your information, advice or support with fairwesr.  He will only see responses that are posted on his Big Question page HERE.

Maybe it's finally Spring here in Michigan, because sex has been on MY mind a lot, lately, too.  I just wrote a MyOutSpirit.com Soapbox column on the topic for PrideSource:

"SEX SPIRIT CIRCUS"

Whether it comes to "getting off" or "getting God," lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people know their stuff.

We have developed a highly sexualized and sex-positive gay culture and, at the same time, many LGBT people are deeply religious or deeply spiritual. The problem starts when we perceive these two aspects of LGBT life - sexuality and spirituality - as mutually exclusive.

BRAVE NEW WORLD: MyOutSpirit Member Spotlight

After traveling the world with Desmond Tutu, young Gay spiritual activist, Ryan Olson (check out his MyOutSpirit profile here), is preparing for a trip next month to Africa to volunteer with A HAND IN HEALTH, a nonprofit organization promoting quality healthcare and education in Gambia (see Gay.com News: Gambia to gays: Leave or die). 

Ryan is so passionate about this experience that, even though he just graduated from college a couple of weeks ago, he took out a $3500 loan to pay for his trip!  Ryan says, "I needed to do some spiritual cleansing and healing for myself and I thought, what better way than to have an experience that I know will change my life forever."

Ryan Olson is an emerging leader with an already impressive resume and an incredibly bright future.  Get to know him from his MyOutSpirit.com profile:

"I never fit into a social scene, gay or straight because I'm one of those people that is constantly outside of myself. OKay, okay, well I shouldn't say I don't fit in, cause I am the person that when I walk in a room, most people tend to know who I am. And yet I feel this awkward silence in my heart around a lot of things, because I feel so much more for my life that is hard to express in this world.

"In a gay venue, I can't really find the space to talk about my greater self; my life, my spiritual aspects of who I am or my deepest passions and desires.

"In the straight venue, much is still superficial, but when I can talk about my spirituality I can't talk about how divinity has helped me to come to terms with my own sexuality. I can't say Jesus helped my to be gay to my christian friends. It's so interesting.

"Anyway, all in all, I'm a person who cares, who loves, who feels and who is moved by life's mysteries. I am moved in a way that challenges me to seek beauty in all things that come along my road of life. To challenge my biases and stereotypes of the world and the way I've been raised to understand it.

"I'm a person who believes it is my duty and social responsibility to stand up for what I believe in, which beyond anything is love. The love for one human being to another whether in a sincere friendship or a deep and abiding intimate interpersonal relationship. I am that person that believes so strongly in that I would even give my life for those beliefs.