MyOutSpirit.com Gay Spirituality Blog

Occupy Forgiveness

The peace you are seeking is seeking you. The forgiveness you are waiting for is waiting for you. ~Mary Anne Flanagan/Toning the OM

This week I picked up an old favorite to re-read — Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning. Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist, was imprisoned in Auschwitz and Dachau, and he writes eloquently about his harrowing experiences in the death camps. It was through unimaginable suffering that Frankl was able to find meaning not only in his life, but to fully understand how others find meaning in theirs. He writes in his book, “When we are no longer able to change a situation…we are challenged to change ourselves.”

How can we change ourselves? Viktor Frankl writes, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” I have been choosing an attitude of “Occupy Forgiveness” for a few months. Forgiveness has taught me to live in the present and leave the past behind. When I find myself seeking peace, I have noticed that peace is seeking me.

Are there people and situations in your life you are still carrying around with anger, disappointment, and sadness? Please join me on a journey of peace in an upcoming telecourse on Forgiveness. Resting in Radical Forgiveness telecourse starts Monday, November 7 at 8PM (ET).

What would it take for you to Occupy Forgiveness?

Peace, Mary Anne

Mary Anne Flanagan is a Certified Life Coach, Shamanic Practitioner and Teacher workshop facilitator, inspired speaker, and creator of Toning the OM™.  Mary Anne Flanagan/Toning the OM™: maflanagan@toningtheom.com or 917.238.9726. Visit http://www.toningtheom.com

Out Compassion

We are hard wired for compassion. It is part of our spiritual positioning system. It is at the core of our journey to being fully alive and fully human. When I am compassionate I yearn for the well-being of all. I become conscious of my oneness with all things.

In Galatians Paul ends the final chapter with a blessing of “peace and mercy” on those who follow a journey to a new creation; on those who believe that there are no divisions within the human family. In his mind the divisions of his time – male and female, slave or free, Jew or gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised – are all irrelevant. His talk of peace is helpful. His blessing of mercy is arrogant and disconnected from peace.

So what does this mean? Peace is about the social, economic and spiritual well-being of all. It is not about the absence of conflict. When my life is grounded in seeking the well-being of others it leads me to help resolve conflicts that keep you or me from knowing peace.

So what does that look like? Peace is about a way of consciousness that says you and I are part of a oneness that exists between all things and people. I understand that you want to live in happiness as much as I do. When a GLBTQ teenager is bullied for who they are, a Muslim vilified as the enemy, women denied full equality or the race of an immigrant is used to conjure up hate talk I will not be passive.

The blessing of peace is only a blessing when I choose not to be silent. Peace becomes a blessing when I am proactive – in my words, intentions or actions. Elsewhere Paul is clear that the spiritual journey invites you and me to “walk in love” and become like a “fragrant offering.”

I believe that the only criteria for whom we are, how we are and where we are on our path is the intention to love with abandonment. Love defines us. In the world of the ancient Middle East love was a contractual arrangement – a promise to come to the aid of another who was attacked in any way.

So coming to the aid of another who is vilified or attacked is an expression of love that bring us alive and of seeking well-being or peace.

That’s why Paul’s blessing of “mercy” is an arrogant disconnect. Mercy comes with an imbalance of power. It assumes that you have the power to dispense it over another. This is not part of an ecosystem of oneness! It ruptures your spiritual positioning system.

Compassion is the sibling of love. It makes me think of two Jewish names for the Holy – God of the Breasts and God of the Womb. Compassion invites us into nurturing, feeding, sustaining and growing the ecosystem of oneness and well-being for all. Compassion, not mercy, is a way of walking in love that is transformative.

So mercy be darned! Blessings are revealed in our intentions of peace and compassion. How do they co-exist in your spiritual positioning system?

Robert V. Taylor is a speaker, blogger, author and Chair of the Desmond Tutu Peace Foundation in New York. Visit him at www.robertvtaylor.com or www.wakeupforlife.com

The Rebirth of Lady Gaga

We may have missed the point in the flurry of dropped jaws, jokes and awe after Lady Gaga arrived at the 2011 Grammy Awards inside a giant milky egg designed by Hussein Chalayan:

Truly growing up is a constant process of rebirthing yourself.

We all protect ourselves with a shell - a story about who we are, how others see us, what we are capable of, and how the world works.

We start creating these stories about ourselves early, based on what we learn from our parents and early childhood experiences. Our stories develop themes from our conclusions about the events of our lives, and these shadow beliefs constantly whisper that we are not worthy of love, happiness and success. 

With Born This Way, Lady Gaga encourages us to break out of our shells and claim a new story that serves our highest good.

"Our stories have a purpose," explains Debbie Ford in The Secret of the Shadow. "Even though they set our limitations, they also help us define who we are so we don't feel completely lost in the world. Living inside them is like being inside a clear capsule. The thin transparent walls act like a shell that traps us inside. Even though we have the ability to gaze outside and view the world around us, we stay safely trapped inside, comfortable with the familiar terrain, bound by an inner knowing that no matter what we do, think, or say, we can go no further... In a desperate attempt to give our lives meaning, we create and then repeat our stories; and as we cling to who we think we are, we perpetuate our dramas."

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning people are as addicted to our stories as anyone else.

Because of the homophobic, heterosexist culture we grow up in, most LGBTQ people have victimhood, shame, and rejection in our stories. Screw that.

We can burst out of our mental shells just like Gaga did at the Grammys.

We can CHOOSE what story we believe. We can choose to believe that we are fully empowered, worthy, blessed and "born this way."

We don't have to be anybody's victim. We can be SHAMELESS. We don't have to conform to anyone else's idea of who we should be; we don't have to conform to gay stereotypes any more than we have to conform to heteronormative culture and relationships.

Once you wake up and recognize your story, you can choose to break out of your shell. 

When she was the spiritual leader at my church, Marianne Williamson told us that when it's time for a chick to be born, their egg's internal environment turns toxic - it fills up with gas and the chick has to break out or die. Being trapped inside your bad story feels the same way. Will you lead a life of quiet desperation and keep listening to your toxic internal dialogue, or break out - even though it's scary -and claim the life you want?

"No matter what the problem is, our experiences are just outer effects of inner thoughts," Louse Hay explains in You Can Heal Your Life. "Even self-hatred is only hating a thought you have about yourself. You have a thought that says, 'I'm a bad person.' This thought produces a feeling, and you buy into the feeling. However, if you don't have the thought, you won't have the feeling. And thoughts can be changed. Change the thought, and the feeling must go."

Lady Gaga burst out her shell wearing Thierry Mugler and armed to the teeth with fierce. She's our queer ATHENA, born full-grown and carrying weapons - the new pop goddess of justice, warfare and wisdom.

She's ready to help you change your story, but you have to listen. Enjoy the dazzle, but don't be distracted by the sensationalism. Pay attention.

This is big.

Love,

Clayton Gibson

Founder, MyOutSpirit.com

A Prayer for Activists, A Prayer for Myself

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

As I think about what my activism looks like, I come back to the serenity prayer more and more these days. I also come back to the adage "Be the change you wish to see in the world." I used to believe this meant that I should not wait for someone else to step up and change the world, I should change the world.  Instead, today, four years later after I was first introduced to nonviolence, I think that I really get that change begins within me.

I am not called to change the world, I am called to be the change.

It is a sobering moment to pray the serenity prayer and realize that "the things I cannot change" are in fact everything outside of me. That the only thing I can really, truly change is myself. 

I want desperately to change the world. I want to stop bullying, and prevent suicides, and create jobs, and ensure everyone is well fed. I want to make my friend's parents understand and accept his gender and I want to make a different friend's parents see how truly wonderful she is, to pay attention to her.  I want everyone to have fulfilling employment and adequate healthcare. There is so much I want to do for the world.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

I know the day my parents' attitude toward my queerness began to change: it was the day I told them I was ready to loose them forever. I could not change my parents. So I took care of myself. I had friends who loved and supported me. Some of them had parents who gave me mints before dates and asked how I was doing emotionally. Heck, Golden Globe nominee Stephanie Zimbalist even asked if I was planning to go vacation with my boyfriend! Somehow I managed to realize I could not change my parents, that I would need to make my own serenity. I am thankful for that wisdom (and I am thankful that my parents changed and are wonderful, affirming parts of my life today).

God grant me the courage to change the things I can.

When all that I can change is myself, changing the things I can is scary stuff. It is uncomfortable to change myself. To change myself means I might have to admit failure and wrongdoing. I like to believe I'm perfect.

Help me to truly change myself. To be willing to look at the unearned privilege I receive everyday: as a white person; as a man; as someone who is cis gender; as an American citizen; as typically abled; as debt free.

Give me the courage to give up the unearned privilege I receive daily in ways big and small, privilege which allows me to step on or over or past others. Give me the courage to seek out answers to difficult questions, to do my own homework and to educate myself. Give me the courage to step off the platform and allow someone else to step up. Give me the courage to refer interviewers or guest post requests or speaking engagements or book deals to those who know more and who are more affected by the issues.  Give me the courage to listen. Give me the courage to learn. Give me the courage to change myself.

If I want to be the change I wish to see in the world, if I wish to change the things I can, I have a lot of work to do.

Give me the courage to judge myself not on how many debate points I score, rallies I attend, speeches I write, decisions I influence, or hearts & minds I change. Give me the courage to judge myself on how thoroughly I examine myself and my motives, how justly I act in the world, how interconnected I am willing to be with others.

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

 

Brian Gerald Murphy is the founder of a web design and media consulting firm, Be Gee M: Design & Media, and manages the branding and marketing of several diverse online ventures. He is also the co-founder of Sanctuary Collective, an organization that inspires, empowers, and supports young LGBTQ adults and allies living and organizing for justice in Christian communities. He was a participant in the Soulforce Equality Ride in 2007, where he and a number of other young adults visited colleges and universities across the Western United States. Brian was raised in the Maryland suburbs of Washington, DC, and graduated from the University of Southern California with degrees in cinematic arts and religion. Connect with him online via twitter @begeem or at www.briangerald.com.

Image source: Indi Samarajiva

Fred Phelps and Family - You're Loved

{from Azariah Southworth, http://azariahspeaks.blogspot.com/}

In May 2010, Ray Boltz and I were in Long Beach, CA  as part of our national tour, "Living True." So was the Phelps family of Westboro Baptist Church. 

The Westboro Baptist Church is primarily made up of the Phelps family. They're famous for protesting American soldiers funerals and gay events, such as the one Ray and I were attending. Their signs such as, "God hates fags" and "Thank God for dead soldiers" has infuriated people all over the world. So much so, there is a pending Supreme Court case, which if it doesn't go in their favor, would limit or even silence their hate speech. 

I heard the Phelps family would be in Long Beach the same weekend as Ray and I. When I woke up that Saturday morning, I heard shouting outside my hotel room. I went over to the window and pulled back the curtain. There they were, ten stories below me, with their infamous signs in tow. 

I immediately became excited. I've wanted to meet the Phelps family for years now. There were so many things I've thought about saying and doing to them. However, since my transition from a faith based in fear to a faith based in love, I no longer had the desire to do any of those things anymore. 

Instead of responding to them out of fear, I could only think of how I could respond out of love. But what would that look like? 

I found a corner store nearby and bought five bottles of water. I figured it was warm that day and they might be thirsty. 

Estranged son of Fred Phelps, Nate Phelps, has recently started speaking out about his experience of growing up in the Phelps family. In a exclusive interview with The Standard, Nate revealed his father, Fred, would physically beat his mother for hours and also abuse the children the same. 

When I saw them outside my hotel window that Saturday morning, I no longer saw people who hate me because I'm gay. I saw victims of Fred Phelps. I saw people who have never experienced unconditional love and are controlled by the fear of going to hell. 

As I approached them, I grew nervous, but went up to each one and asked, "Are you thirsty?" All of them said no, as I thought they would, "Well, if you get thirsty, here is some water. It's warm out, you need to stay hydrated." Before I walked away, I attempted to look at each of them in the eyes and tell them, "I want you to know, you're loved." Only one of them responded to that... Mara Phelps. 

With her soft spoken voice she told me that we must obey all the laws of God or face his judgment. I asked Mara, "When was the moment you experienced the love of God?"

Mara looked down then up again at me and said, "I don't even know if God loves me." 

It was then I reassured her that God does love her. I then shared with her the moment I experienced the love of God which has changed my life. Mara listened, I thanked her for listening and one last time looked at her in the eyes and said, "Mara, you're loved." 

If it wasn't for God's love transforming me, there would have been no way I could have done anything more than join in with the 50+ counter protesters and yell back at these victims of Fred Phelps. It is only because of the unconditional love of God continuously transforming me that I could respond in love to their extremely hateful message. 

That Saturday morning, I made a new friend... her name is Mara Phelps and God loves her. 

Be love, 
Azariah Southworth

Being "Grate-Full"

{Mary Anne Flanagan, Toning the OM}

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.” ~Meister Eckhart

As we make plans for a big meal with family or friends, for volunteering to serve others in need, and for expressing our thanks, let us remember all we are “grate-full” for. How are you full of gratitude?

By expressing gratitude as a daily practice, I have discovered that gratitude is an attitude and that once you have it, you can make it a regular practice. There are many gratitude attitude practices that can be incorporated into everyday life.

Be “grate-full”:

I’m grateful for…

My life would be dull if it weren’t for…

The following people make my life richer…because they… (these could be people your personally know or people who simply inspire you)

I appreciate the following things about myself…

This year I’ve been blessed with….

When I am grateful, the world is grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving!
“Grate-fully”,
Mary Anne

Mary Anne Flanagan is an intuitive Shamanic Practitioner and Teacher, Certified Life Coach, workshop facilitator, inspired speaker, and creator of Toning the OM™.  Mary Anne Flanagan/Toning the OM™:maflanagan@toningtheom.com or 917.238.9726. Visit http://www.toningtheom.com

It Gets Better Because You MAKE It Better

Dear Queer Youth,

By now you've probably watched at least one of the amazing videos from the "It Gets Better" Project (if not, here's my favorite so far).

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) and ally people of all ages, races and religions are making videos to let you know that, even though there are challenging times growing up and coming out - junior high and high school, for instance - "It gets better."  Eventually, if you hold on, you will overcome the bullies, you'll get stronger, and you will find love.  

If you're going through a particularly tough time now and don't know how you can stand to face tomorrow, you can always talk to someone at 1-866-488-7386.  (Donate $5 to The Trevor Project hotline by texting Trevor to 85944.)

Obviously, if you're being bullied or abused, the first step is to TELL SOMEONE.  Get help.  If the first authority figure you tell doesn't help, tell someone else.  That almost goes without saying, but it takes courage to stand up or to admit something's hurting.

But here's the secret nobody's really telling you:  Making it better is up to you.

Don't get me wrong - it really DOES get better with time, and it really DOES get better after high school, and everyone in those videos is right to share their stories of overcoming hardship, discrimination and suicidal thoughts - it really helps to hear that other people have been through what you're going through and come out okay.

But here's the thing: nothing happens if you don't do anything.

Let's try an experiment!

Sit in your chair, close your eyes and think very hard about getting up and going into the kitchen.  Think about this for 30 seconds.

Okay, how far did you move? 

You DIDN'T!  Getting up and going into the kitchen is just like making your life happy - you have to take the small actions to change things!

Ah, but what action to take to "Make It Better?" 

Many of the "It Gets Better" video stars talk about how great it was when they got out of their small town and moved to (wherever).  While there's something to be said for getting away from an abusive situation, if your problem is depression, shame and suicidal thoughts, just changing your environment may not be enough.  Besides, maybe you're not old enough to move out on your own, and don't want to join the 500,000 homeless LGBT youth already on the streets.

The most important thing you can do to "Make It Better" is to train your mind to be happy, and practice doing the things that improve your life.

You can't always control your environment.  You can't control what other people say or do.  Bad things sometimes happen to everyone at any age. 

But you CAN learn to control how you respond.

I'm not saying it's easy, especially when you're in crisis or distracted by raging hormones!  At the same time, it's possible, and thousands of years of research has been conducted!

Both ancient and New Age meditation traditions can provide you with inspiration and instruction in training your mind so that, no matter what happens to you, you can maintain a stable, happy mental state.  Meditation and affirmations can even help you conquer negative thoughts and habits.

Easy for me to say, right?  Of course I'm going to point you in that direction since I run MyOutSpirit.com, a social network for spiritual LGBTQ people, but hey, if starting a Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Silva Mind Training or other meditation practice doesn't sound good to you, I have another recommendation.

I recently read YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE, a book by Louise Hay that is all about retraining your mind to think happy, healing thoughts.  It really helped me take responsiblity for my own happiness.  I am happier every day because I read and applied some of the simple instructions in this book.  Check it out at the library or click here to buy it from Amazon.com, and see if it helps you, too.

This book is easy to read.  Some of it may seem silly (her mirror-work was famously mocked on Saturday Night Live), but with 40 million books sold, you have to admit something's working for people.  Like any other inspirational book, read it with discernment.  It's okay to feel silly.  It's okay to not agree with everything.  Keep your eyes and heart open.  Experiment.  Play.  See what happens. 

Whatever actions you choose to help you control your own mind and your own life and your own destiny - what you do to MAKE IT BETTER - know that there are millions of us supporting you and loving you unconditionally and eager to see the amazing person and life you create for yourself. 

Hang in there. 

YOU CAN MAKE IT BETTER.

---

photo: "Fight Club II" by Michael Winkler

Jim Swilley, I Was Wrong

{by Rev. Paul M. Turner, Gentle Spirit Christian Church of Atlanta}

 There is nothing worse for a pastor than finding oneself on the wrong end of a gospel story.

A few days ago, when news broke that the founding pastor of “THE CHURCH IN THE NOW,” Bishop Jim Swilley, had come out, I was not particularly kind. On my Facebook page I made the following status update: “[Rev. Paul Turner] is thinking Rev. Swilley is NO gay hero. He finally comes out after he has fathered 4 kids, was in a sham of a marriage...and how many young folks took his hypocritical teachings to heart and ended their life? I am sorry there are those of us who have stood in the line of fire for a long time and took the hits while he was...Thank you Rev. for getting a conscience, let's see what you do now that you are out.”

Really generous and Christ-like, right?

Then I re-read the story of the “Prodigal Son.” One can find the complete story at Luke 15:11-32 (The Message). Needless to say I found myself on the wrong end of this gospel story.

For as many times as I have told this story over the years and how it is a wonderful affirming story for the LGBTQ community, I found myself convicted tonight by the end of the story.

"All this time his older son was out in the field. When the day's work was done he came in. As he approached the house, he heard the music and dancing. Calling over one of the houseboys, he asked what was going on. He told him, 'Your brother came home. Your father has ordered a feast because he has him home safe and sound.' The older brother stalked off in an angry sulk and refused to join in. His father came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen. The son said, 'Look how many years I've stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast!' “His father said, 'Son, you don't understand. You're with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours—but this is a wonderful time, and we had to celebrate. This brother of yours was dead, and he's alive! He was lost, and he's found!'"

I found myself standing in the place of the older son. For a guy who has been preaching an inclusive gospel for 25 years this is an embarrassing and humbling place to find one’s self. Of course when one reads this story from Jesus, it is easy to see and understand the Father’s response.

However, the more difficult part of this story is we never get the interaction between the older son and the younger. Did they ever work things out? When the party was over did the older and younger brother reconcile? Did the younger brother ever know the older one was unhappy and why? Did the older brother ever stop and listen to the younger brother’s story and how he came to do what he did and make the choices he made?

I have never met the Bishop and only know of the Church he founded by driving by it on I-20 several times and thinking each time…there is another one of “those” places. It was a mega-church; an evangelical church and we all know how they feel about the LGBTQ community right?

So of course I sat and listen to the Bishop’s coming out sermon to his congregation tonight from beginning to end. I then found his blog and read what he had to say. In his latest writing, “Making it Plain” he said:

“I at least have not had to work through any credibility issues, or do any damage control concerning my message. I have never one time in nearly 39 years of preaching said a derogatory or condemning word about people with same-sex attraction. An in-depth search can be made through my books, or through decades-worth of tapes, CDs, DVDs, or manuscripts of my sermons, and there will be no evidence of the preaching of condemnation found.

“I think it's important to point out that my main message is and always has been one of love, grace, and tolerance. Church In The Now has been a multicultural/multi ethnic/ecumenical community since its inception, and, as such, has established a long-standing reputation as being a bridge builder among belief systems and people groups. It is neither a white church, nor a black church - it is a church for all people - so it will not become, now or ever, a "gay" church. CITN is inclusive because we believe that the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, demands that we be...and that Gospel is simply the Good News that GOD IS LOVE, demonstrated through the Christ, revealed in the person of Jesus Christ. Jesus said that the lifestyle demands made by the Gospel are summed up in two basic and proactive commandments: (1) Love God (2) Love people. That's all. Church In The Now will always be a place that embraces the truth of the real Gospel, and the simplicity that is in Christ.”

I had done what I have so long preached against…I made lots of judgments and offered my friends and family a knee jerk reaction. Like the older brother in the story, I felt jealous of all the attention the Bishop was getting for coming out at 52 when I was out at 13. One can read my previous blog to get the full story on that.

I felt like as an openly gay pastor and progressive person of faith I had taken the heat, buried our people, held the hand of the oppressed, fought the fight, stood on the front lines and taken the bullets of hate, ridicule and disrespect.

In fact, I could think of many of us pastors who have barely been able to make ends meet because we took the opportunity to be out, proud and free.

Of course so has the Bishop:

“Concerning any negative things written about me online, which are mostly done by conservative Christian or Evangelical groups or watchdog organizations, I can only say that it comes with the territory, and I'm used to it. I have no desire to defend myself, or to argue the Scriptures with those who would not be open to anything I would have to say. Integrity can't be proven, it must be discerned. I've been discussed on blogs and websites for years because of my inclusive theology. In the last few days I've been called both a hero and heretic. I don't believe that I am either. At the end of the day, all that really matters to me is what God thinks and says about me, and that is between Him and me.”

So why write this? Why admit to the community I was a jerk in the way I responded to the story, that I was childish and immature?

First, because words have power and as we have seen with the bullying issue words can have a devastating impact both in the short term and the long term. My open and public words were no better than any bully. For this I am deeply embarrassed and sorry…May God have mercy on me.

Second: two words, being authentic! At Gentle Spirit Christian Church it has been taught for years that we “walk the talk”. So not to admit publicly I was wrong after public words of judgment would be hypocritical at minimum and anti-gospel at the worst.

Finally but not least, each one of us travel this life and for the most part do the best we can with the cards that are given to us. The Bishop is right on the mark when he says there are only two things that really matter: (1) Love God (2) Love people. I know tonight, my Facebook words did neither of those things…God have mercy on me, a sinner.

Bishop Swilley, welcome home and may God bless, protect and encourage you in the days ahead.

What Still Haunts You?

 {Mary Anne Flanagan, Toning the OM}

As the costumes come out and the Halloween parties begin, I can’t help but wonder: what still haunts you? I don’t mean all the horror shows and “Nightmare on Elm Street” movies. I mean, what unfilled dream in your life haunts you?

What would happen if we didn’t play small? Why not have a bigger life?

Ask yourself what it is you really want in your life. Then listen. Just listen. Get clear on what you want your life to look and feel like. Live from that place and ask for support.

Meditation:
You are the greatest resource for every dream that lives within. You have everything you need to take the next steps, and the next, and the next. Source from love. You are the dream. The dream lives through you. Show the world and live a bigger life.

As you celebrate Halloween, do something that scares you. Do it afraid. As Debbie Ford says, “The world is waiting for you.”

Happy Halloween!
Mary Anne

Mary Anne Flanagan is an intuitive Shamanic Practitioner and Teacher, Certified Life Coach, workshop facilitator, inspired speaker, and creator of Toning the OM™.  Mary Anne Flanagan/Toning the OM™:maflanagan@toningtheom.com or 917.238.9726. Visit http://www.toningtheom.com

Remembrance of Me

"Have you ever forgotten who you are?"

I looked down at the new text on my iPhone, surprised.  "Random," I thought. And, "Duh."

The text was from a friend of mine I've never even met; one of the hazards of running MyOutSpirit.com is feeling very close to people you've never hung out with.  LGBTQ people often turn to me as if I'm someone with answers, and I do my best to honor their questions and reach inside myself to remember the answers.  (I even added a "Big Questions" section to the website so that all the members could do this question and answer work together.)

"Have you ever forgotten who you are?" my friend wanted to know.

From a spiritual perspective, answering "Yes" is deeply true.  We have all forgotten who we really are; it's why we're embodied.  "Genesis says Adam fell into a deep sleep," as Marianne Williamson reminds us. "Nowhere does it say anything about him waking up!" 

The root of all genuine, transformative spiritual practice is a freedom from identification with the small "s" self - the ego and its attachments, beliefs, habits and limitations - and evolving into identification with the capital "S" Self - an experience of unity with the Universe/Light/Divinity/Brahman/God. 

We suffer because we have forgotten who we are.

Our lives are meant to be about remembrance: rediscovering the atoms of stars in our bodies; stretching our ordinary consciousness into a vast web of unconditional love; moving into a place without "self" and "other," "subject" and "object."  We are here to reconnect with that Spirit that interpenetrates everything.

Or not.

We get to choose.

Most of us are lost in our lives.  Jobs, family, children, pets, good relationships, bad relationships, retail therapy, fashion, fitness, activism, sex, politics, GLEE - there are innumerable shiny distractions for the ego to play with like Legos it uses to build a portrait of itself. This is the real definition of karma. 

Karma is not about good or bad actions, sinful or virtuous behavior.  Karma is that which strengthens the ego self at the expense of the Self.  "Bad karma" is created when your thoughts, words or actions reinforce your ego.  That is what keeps you in hell, suffering, caught in samsara - however you understand it.  But it is possible to have sex, enjoy GLEE, and celebrate your life without creating more karma for yourself. 

How?  By remembering who you are and why you are here, and letting that remembrance color your choices.  Take action for your freedom.  EnlightenNext founder Andrew Cohen calls it "Clarity of Intention:"

"Wanting to be free more than anything else is not a feeling; it's an action. It is a conscious position you take in relationship to every choice you make. Without the clear intention to be free, no amount of spiritual practice will change you in the long run. Your success depends entirely upon your conscious choice to be free in every moment. Ultimately you will reach a point where you no longer have a choice, where your own freedom is recognized to be a choiceless obligation. Then the Authentic Self, which is already ecstatically and perfectly free, will have become the dominant force in your being."

"Have you ever forgotten who you are?"

We ALL have.

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Clayton Gibson is the founder of MyOutSpirit.com, the gay spirituality social networking website and resource directory, and GaySpiritCulture.com, the co-op funding program for LGBT-affirming organizations and businesses.

 

Photo Credit: "Shimmer" by Bartosz Madej