MyOutSpirit.com Gay Spirituality Blog

Hunky Jesus contest: A queer way to reclaim Christ

By Kittredge Cherry, Jesus in Love

For me as a lesbian Christian, there’s a lot to love about the Hunky Jesus contest held every Easter in San Francisco by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, a group of “queer nuns” who do street theater for charity.

First and most important, it makes me feel like Jesus is right here with us, queer or not -- living up to his name Emmanuel, which means “God with us.” 

Happy crowds attend the costume competition every year to see the sexy side of Jesus exposed by contestants with nicknames such as Stimulus Package Jesus, Gym Bunny Jesus and Victoria’s Secret Jesus.

The Hunky Jesus contest is packed with living, breathing gay Jesuses -- or “Jesi,” as they are called.  Many of Hunky Jesus photos are wonderful, and two favorites are posted here.  I put a lot of energy into promoting images of a queer Christ in order to heal the damage done by homophobes in Jesus’ name.  You can see them on this blog and in my book “Art That Dares: Gay Jesus, Woman Christ, and More.”  The Hunky Jesi can free people who feel left out when Jesus is presented as a straight man.  Maybe they can even enlarge the way some people see God. 

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence say that the Hunky Jesus contest is a fun way to promote the ideal of a loving God who has a sense of humor.  It’s also a birthday party for their organization, which has raised more than $1 million for LGBT groups, AIDS service organizations, and other non-profits that don’t see a penny from conservative Christians.

It’s no surprise that the Hunky Jesus contest offends the religious right.  But even gay Christians are denouncing it in the news media this year.  Some LGBT Christians and our allies fear that such events could provoke a backlash.  Political commentator Andrew Sullivan, a gay Catholic, attacked it as “the tired, lame bigotry of some homosexuals” and gay Catholic priest Donal Godfrey of San Francisco called it “sacrilege” at Queerty.com.

I wouldn’t go that far, but parts of it do disturb me.  I decided against posting the recent 2011 Hunky Jesus contest video here because it includes nudity, the f-word and simulated gay sex.  A link to the video is at the end of this article. 

I’m sure that Jesus felt sexual attractions for both men and women, but the more extreme Hunky Jesus contestants express it in a hyper-sexual way that seems, well, unChristlike.  Even many progressive Christians will be offended. 

Still, the critics are wrong when they say that the hunky Jesus contest is hate speech against Christians.  As Sister Zsa Zsa wrote in her recent defense of the event, “Offending prudes and tyrants is not our purpose, but we consider it a bit of a bonus.”  In my opinion, the real purpose is reclaiming Jesus from bigots who have attacked LGBT people in Christ’s name.  We are the body of Christ, ALL of us, of every sexual orientation and gender identity. The contest is also about healing the split between sexuality and spirituality.  And that can get messy, very messy. 

Let’s not forget that Jesus himself was accused of blasphemy.  It was one of the charges leading to his crucifixion.  He broke rules, hung out with prostitutes and other “sinners,” taught that God loved everybody, and got killed for it.  The Christ who appears at the Hunky Jesus contest is not an object of worship, but he does remind me of the Jesus who angered the Pharisees by eating and drinking with “sinners.”  In the Bible, Jesus is always trying to demystify God, comparing God to some ordinary, even vulgar thing like yeast or a poor woman desperate to find a lost coin.

Founded in 1979, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence have a vision statement that says, “We believe all people have a right to express their unique joy and beauty and we use humor and irreverent wit to expose the forces of bigotry, complacency and guilt that chain the human spirit.”

Surely Jesus, hunky or otherwise, is with them.
___
Here are additional resources on the Hunky Jesus contest:

Video of the 2011 Hunky Jesus contest
(Warning: contains profanity, male nudity and simulated gay sex.)

More photos! The photos here by Xero Britt come from the following sets:
2008    2009    2011

___
Kittredge Cherry is a lesbian Christian author and art historian who blogs about LGBT spirituality and the arts at the Jesus in Love Blog.

Photo credits: Brokeback Mountain Jesus and Hunky Jesus contestant by Xero Britt

Fred Phelps and Family - You're Loved

{from Azariah Southworth, http://azariahspeaks.blogspot.com/}

In May 2010, Ray Boltz and I were in Long Beach, CA  as part of our national tour, "Living True." So was the Phelps family of Westboro Baptist Church. 

The Westboro Baptist Church is primarily made up of the Phelps family. They're famous for protesting American soldiers funerals and gay events, such as the one Ray and I were attending. Their signs such as, "God hates fags" and "Thank God for dead soldiers" has infuriated people all over the world. So much so, there is a pending Supreme Court case, which if it doesn't go in their favor, would limit or even silence their hate speech. 

I heard the Phelps family would be in Long Beach the same weekend as Ray and I. When I woke up that Saturday morning, I heard shouting outside my hotel room. I went over to the window and pulled back the curtain. There they were, ten stories below me, with their infamous signs in tow. 

I immediately became excited. I've wanted to meet the Phelps family for years now. There were so many things I've thought about saying and doing to them. However, since my transition from a faith based in fear to a faith based in love, I no longer had the desire to do any of those things anymore. 

Instead of responding to them out of fear, I could only think of how I could respond out of love. But what would that look like? 

I found a corner store nearby and bought five bottles of water. I figured it was warm that day and they might be thirsty. 

Estranged son of Fred Phelps, Nate Phelps, has recently started speaking out about his experience of growing up in the Phelps family. In a exclusive interview with The Standard, Nate revealed his father, Fred, would physically beat his mother for hours and also abuse the children the same. 

When I saw them outside my hotel window that Saturday morning, I no longer saw people who hate me because I'm gay. I saw victims of Fred Phelps. I saw people who have never experienced unconditional love and are controlled by the fear of going to hell. 

As I approached them, I grew nervous, but went up to each one and asked, "Are you thirsty?" All of them said no, as I thought they would, "Well, if you get thirsty, here is some water. It's warm out, you need to stay hydrated." Before I walked away, I attempted to look at each of them in the eyes and tell them, "I want you to know, you're loved." Only one of them responded to that... Mara Phelps. 

With her soft spoken voice she told me that we must obey all the laws of God or face his judgment. I asked Mara, "When was the moment you experienced the love of God?"

Mara looked down then up again at me and said, "I don't even know if God loves me." 

It was then I reassured her that God does love her. I then shared with her the moment I experienced the love of God which has changed my life. Mara listened, I thanked her for listening and one last time looked at her in the eyes and said, "Mara, you're loved." 

If it wasn't for God's love transforming me, there would have been no way I could have done anything more than join in with the 50+ counter protesters and yell back at these victims of Fred Phelps. It is only because of the unconditional love of God continuously transforming me that I could respond in love to their extremely hateful message. 

That Saturday morning, I made a new friend... her name is Mara Phelps and God loves her. 

Be love, 
Azariah Southworth

Is Your Church on Manhunt?

Okay, I pick on Manhunt a lot, but would you have read the article if it was called "Is Your Church on YouTube?"  The real question is, "Are you taking your ministry to LGBTQ people or are you simply holding an affirming space if they choose to find it?"

If you want to grow your ministry and help lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning people find their way back to god (however you define the terms "ministry" and "god"), then you need to consider undertaking a new mission to LGBTQ people.

Did Mother Teresa open an orphanage and then sit back and wait for people to find it?  No, she went out into the poverty-and-disease-ridden streets of Calcutta to bring unconditional love and care to those who needed it most.

In contemporary Christian circles, this approach is described as an "Incarnational Ministry" because it requires ministers to plant a new ministry where the underserved community lives.  To create an Incarnational Ministry is to enter into deep relationship with the people who need you most by moving into the neighborhood. 

You can do this literally, like Rev. Megan Rohrer, queer Lutheran minister (one of the "Bay Area Seven") and Executive Director of The Welcome, who goes on street retreats among San Francisco's homeless and plants gardens to feed the hungry.  Andrew Marin, a self-described former "straight, Bible-beating homophobe" incarnated a ministry in Chicago's Boystown, not to change anyone's sexual orientation but to build bridges, deep relationships, and to share his belief that "Love is an Orientation" (the title of his book - no, I haven't read it yet).  (Both of these folks desperately need financial support right now: Donate to The Welcome | Donate to The Marin Foundation)

You can also now incarnate a ministry virtually, by taking your mission work beyond Facebook and into the online social networks where 61.2% of men-who-have-sex-with-men (MSM) now find their first sexual partner - and millions of MSM find their next.  These sites include Manhunt.net, Adam4Adam.com and Gay.com, among many others.

Why take your church onto gay hook-up websites?  I certainly don't suggest it because I think sex between consenting adults is bad/naughty/sinful!  Don't assume every MSM on those websites needs or wants your spiritual input or support.  You should take your ministry there, not to preach against those websites and their function, but to enter into Incarnational Ministry with MSM who are in crisis.  Through my own memberships on these websites I have counseled a young gay man facing chemotherapy alone (he hadn't even told friends and family he was sick), drug addicts, escorts and prostitutes, the lonely and the suicidal. 

Many MSM on these websites are healthy, happy men just using the service to network, date and hook up.  However, many others are dealing with huge life challenges like cheating on their wives with men, coming out, coping with a health crisis, poverty, loneliness, depression, despair, or flailing about begging for someone to make them feel loved, even for just a few minutes.

I'm not saying you should create a ministerial profile on these sites and then start banging on the virtual door of anyone who you think must be in crisis - besides being rude, it might also get you kicked off by a website administrator!  But I challenge you to incarnate your ministry in these online communities; just create a profile explaining that you're available if anyone needs support or guidance, and let people in crisis come to YOU.  Use a simple photo that doesn't reveal much about how you look - you don't want them distracted by how gorgeous you are!  (And, of course, even if you don't show your pretty face, it goes without saying you'll need to be prepared to field some very angry or sexual messages.)

You know, when I published the test issue of MyOutSpirit Magazine in Austin, we distributed them for free all over town, but can you guess where they were claimed the fastest?  Gay men snapped up the copies we left in gay bars and clubs faster than anywhere else.  Our plan is to expand this print incarnational ministry to 100,000+ people in the USA in 2011.

The point is, the LGBTQ people who need you most aren't necessarily going to stumble into your church (sangha/temple/retreat center/yoga studio/counseling center) on their own.  But you can create an Incarnational Ministry right where they are, online or off.

Oh, and the other thing about Mother Teresa?  She didn't do it alone.  If you feel called to do this incarnational work, talk to your peers and members and students about it and build a team of people to go there with you!

Do you already have an LGBTQ Incarnational Ministry?  What are some that you've heard about?  Post in the comments below!

Love,

Clayton

P.S.  Another "Incarnational Ministry" that ALL LGBT-affirming body/mind/spirit resources are invited to join is just getting started on YouTube.  You are asked to make short instructional videos offering step-by-step advice to help LGBTQ youth "MAKE It Better" today.  Learn more at YouMakeItBetter.org.

P.S.  Finally (really, I promise!), you can also become a distributor of MyOutSpirit Magazine to spread LGBT-affirming inspiration and guidance in your local community.  You'll be joining a Movement of people, organizations and businesses dedicated to helping each LGBTQ person "Live Your Best Gay Life," today and for future generations.  Go ahead and sign up now at GaySpiritCulture.com.

(And if you are the dream investor we've been waiting for to take this ministry to the next level, please get in touch with me!)

 

Jim Swilley, I Was Wrong

{by Rev. Paul M. Turner, Gentle Spirit Christian Church of Atlanta}

 There is nothing worse for a pastor than finding oneself on the wrong end of a gospel story.

A few days ago, when news broke that the founding pastor of “THE CHURCH IN THE NOW,” Bishop Jim Swilley, had come out, I was not particularly kind. On my Facebook page I made the following status update: “[Rev. Paul Turner] is thinking Rev. Swilley is NO gay hero. He finally comes out after he has fathered 4 kids, was in a sham of a marriage...and how many young folks took his hypocritical teachings to heart and ended their life? I am sorry there are those of us who have stood in the line of fire for a long time and took the hits while he was...Thank you Rev. for getting a conscience, let's see what you do now that you are out.”

Really generous and Christ-like, right?

Then I re-read the story of the “Prodigal Son.” One can find the complete story at Luke 15:11-32 (The Message). Needless to say I found myself on the wrong end of this gospel story.

For as many times as I have told this story over the years and how it is a wonderful affirming story for the LGBTQ community, I found myself convicted tonight by the end of the story.

"All this time his older son was out in the field. When the day's work was done he came in. As he approached the house, he heard the music and dancing. Calling over one of the houseboys, he asked what was going on. He told him, 'Your brother came home. Your father has ordered a feast because he has him home safe and sound.' The older brother stalked off in an angry sulk and refused to join in. His father came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen. The son said, 'Look how many years I've stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast!' “His father said, 'Son, you don't understand. You're with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours—but this is a wonderful time, and we had to celebrate. This brother of yours was dead, and he's alive! He was lost, and he's found!'"

I found myself standing in the place of the older son. For a guy who has been preaching an inclusive gospel for 25 years this is an embarrassing and humbling place to find one’s self. Of course when one reads this story from Jesus, it is easy to see and understand the Father’s response.

However, the more difficult part of this story is we never get the interaction between the older son and the younger. Did they ever work things out? When the party was over did the older and younger brother reconcile? Did the younger brother ever know the older one was unhappy and why? Did the older brother ever stop and listen to the younger brother’s story and how he came to do what he did and make the choices he made?

I have never met the Bishop and only know of the Church he founded by driving by it on I-20 several times and thinking each time…there is another one of “those” places. It was a mega-church; an evangelical church and we all know how they feel about the LGBTQ community right?

So of course I sat and listen to the Bishop’s coming out sermon to his congregation tonight from beginning to end. I then found his blog and read what he had to say. In his latest writing, “Making it Plain” he said:

“I at least have not had to work through any credibility issues, or do any damage control concerning my message. I have never one time in nearly 39 years of preaching said a derogatory or condemning word about people with same-sex attraction. An in-depth search can be made through my books, or through decades-worth of tapes, CDs, DVDs, or manuscripts of my sermons, and there will be no evidence of the preaching of condemnation found.

“I think it's important to point out that my main message is and always has been one of love, grace, and tolerance. Church In The Now has been a multicultural/multi ethnic/ecumenical community since its inception, and, as such, has established a long-standing reputation as being a bridge builder among belief systems and people groups. It is neither a white church, nor a black church - it is a church for all people - so it will not become, now or ever, a "gay" church. CITN is inclusive because we believe that the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, demands that we be...and that Gospel is simply the Good News that GOD IS LOVE, demonstrated through the Christ, revealed in the person of Jesus Christ. Jesus said that the lifestyle demands made by the Gospel are summed up in two basic and proactive commandments: (1) Love God (2) Love people. That's all. Church In The Now will always be a place that embraces the truth of the real Gospel, and the simplicity that is in Christ.”

I had done what I have so long preached against…I made lots of judgments and offered my friends and family a knee jerk reaction. Like the older brother in the story, I felt jealous of all the attention the Bishop was getting for coming out at 52 when I was out at 13. One can read my previous blog to get the full story on that.

I felt like as an openly gay pastor and progressive person of faith I had taken the heat, buried our people, held the hand of the oppressed, fought the fight, stood on the front lines and taken the bullets of hate, ridicule and disrespect.

In fact, I could think of many of us pastors who have barely been able to make ends meet because we took the opportunity to be out, proud and free.

Of course so has the Bishop:

“Concerning any negative things written about me online, which are mostly done by conservative Christian or Evangelical groups or watchdog organizations, I can only say that it comes with the territory, and I'm used to it. I have no desire to defend myself, or to argue the Scriptures with those who would not be open to anything I would have to say. Integrity can't be proven, it must be discerned. I've been discussed on blogs and websites for years because of my inclusive theology. In the last few days I've been called both a hero and heretic. I don't believe that I am either. At the end of the day, all that really matters to me is what God thinks and says about me, and that is between Him and me.”

So why write this? Why admit to the community I was a jerk in the way I responded to the story, that I was childish and immature?

First, because words have power and as we have seen with the bullying issue words can have a devastating impact both in the short term and the long term. My open and public words were no better than any bully. For this I am deeply embarrassed and sorry…May God have mercy on me.

Second: two words, being authentic! At Gentle Spirit Christian Church it has been taught for years that we “walk the talk”. So not to admit publicly I was wrong after public words of judgment would be hypocritical at minimum and anti-gospel at the worst.

Finally but not least, each one of us travel this life and for the most part do the best we can with the cards that are given to us. The Bishop is right on the mark when he says there are only two things that really matter: (1) Love God (2) Love people. I know tonight, my Facebook words did neither of those things…God have mercy on me, a sinner.

Bishop Swilley, welcome home and may God bless, protect and encourage you in the days ahead.

“You Are God’s Child and You Are Not A Mistake!”

{by Rev. Paul M. Turner, Gentle Spirit Christian Church of Atlanta}

When I was a 13, during the month of January 1968 I wrote a paper for my 8th grade English class on why Dr. Martin Luther King was my hero. No big deal one would think except I was a white kid in an all white school. As any one who reads my blog with any regularity will tell you my grammar is awful and so it was no surprise I got an A for content but a D for grammar. With that paper my life became complicated. I was now known as a n***** lover. There was no end to the jokes and nasty notes left at my locker or in my schoolbooks.

It should also be noted at about the same time I had gone through a sudden growth spurt. So by the time the school year had ended I was 5’9” and 120 pounds. I was kind of geeky looking to say the least.

At the same time I was apart of a family who included a father who had a very strict definition of what it was to be a “man” and a mother who insisted on me having “school clothes” and “play clothes”. The problem with this you might ask? Nothing except when I went to school I was dressed in a freshly ironed shirt, a pair of dress pants and polished shoes, and a Princeton haircut. Dressed this way amongst kids in blue jeans, tennis shoes and long hair I stood out as not being particularly “manly”.

For the record it should also noted at the age of 9 I had figured out that I was not same as everyone else when it came to issues of sexuality. I had more than a passing interest in men. I couldn't understand why I felt about men the same way other guys were feeling about girls.

My grandparents at this time had a foster child who was 14 and would later become their adopted son, my step uncle.

Starting at the age of 10 while visiting my grandparents I would sleep in my step uncles room. I woke up one night and caught him masturbating. Long story short I figured out in that time I was a homosexual. This probably would not have been a bad thing except for my step uncle taking advantage of my curiosity and literally raping me until I was 13 and he left for the army.

At one point he took me to a place no young person should ever have to go physically. The whole time he did this to me, he told me I was nothing but a fagot and if I ever told anyone I would be thrown out of the family for being a queer. I threw out bloody underwear that summer out fear of being found out.

There was no one to tell and no place to go for support or to get help.

The only positive thing to come out of this experience was that I learned I would never make a person do something sexual for which they did not want to do.

So fast forward back to the end of 8th grade school year. A friend of mine showed up to my house one day with some of his father’s naked girl magazines and a jar of Vaseline. We experimented that day. Compared to what I had already been through this was great and I had my first official crush. That is until he told his friends. The bullies came out in mass numbers. Much like vultures circling that prey which is about to die.

Now, I was a marked kid…called a homo, fagot, pushed into lockers and cornered in the locker room. I was followed home with kids calling me names. Eggs were thrown at our house.

We would get phone calls at our house asking for me because they wanted a blowjob. This went on the entire 4 years of high school almost daily.

So my days in high school were spent in complete torment and fear that in the end no matter what I wanted to do or did I was a loser. I was a n***** lover and a fag.

Those days of high school were hard for me. There was no place to go for support or understanding of what I was feeling, who I was or any kind of acceptance. To many I was just at minimum weird and at worst a pervert. I later found out that my struggles and experiences caused untold grief for my family and especially my sister.

Ironic isn’t it, my sister was bullied because of her brother. While most sisters get to look up to their older brothers, mine probably spent most of her high school days wishing I never existed.

Those times made it difficult for my friends too. For the mention of my name brought laughter and jokes. I have often wished there could have been a different way, a better way.

So why am I sharing this tonight? Because tonight when I signed into facebook I saw yet another story of a young man whom saw no other way and has taken his life out of this world.

“Terrel Williams, a 17-year-old native of Beverly Hills, CA, took his life on October 13, just hours after being attacked by five other high school students, and pushed and thrown into a brick wall at Clover Park High School in Lakewood, WA.

Terrel’s mother, Cheryl Williams, found her son in their Lakewood home — he had hanged himself in his bedroom closet. Terrel left a suicide note:

“I’m sorry to my immediate loved ones, but I feel suicide is the only way out. I felt coming out, and being happy with Daric, was the best thing I could’ve ever done. But I didn’t think it would lead to my death at an early age.

“Today, was the record worst day of my life, some kids at school stole some of my stuff that I got from people I really cared about, and that really pushed me over the top, next to being shoved into a wall, and my ribs being broken.”



Tonight, my heart is yet again broken by society’s inability to support the diversity of creation, to see the beauty of that diversity and to understand our real strength comes in that diversity.

How did I get through it? I really don’t know. I do not see myself as particularly strong or smart.

I do know what it is to feel totally alone, unsupported and mocked. Funny even today I can still feel that way.

Maybe I got through this and lived to tell about because when I was at my lowest there was a United Methodist Pastor by the name of Rev. George Groh, who when he heard I was in trouble and seriously in the process of putting a bullet into my head dropped what he was doing and came to me. 20 miles he drove at 7 in the morning.

He came to me and in the midst of my hurt, anger and isolation held me in his arms and cried with me and in the end assured me I was God’s child and I was no mistake. As he held me, he listens to all my shortcomings and confessions. He cried as he listens to my entire story of the rape. He is angry with me as I tell him of the days of high school. He holds me tighter as I cried about being a failure to God and my family and again through his tears assured me I was God’s child and I was no mistake.

Then he pulls out his little pocket bible and reads to me the 22nd Psalm, the whole Psalm not just the part we hear read on Good Friday in church:

“1-2 God, God...my God! Why did you dump me
miles from nowhere?
Doubled up with pain, I call to God
all the day long. No answer. Nothing.
I keep at it all night, tossing and turning.

3-5 And you! Are you indifferent, above it all,
leaning back on the cushions of Israel's praise?
We know you were there for our parents:
they cried for your help and you gave it;
they trusted and lived a good life.

6-8 And here I am, a nothing—an earthworm,
something to step on, to squash.
Everyone pokes fun at me;
they make faces at me, they shake their heads:
"Let's see how God handles this one;
since God likes him so much, let him help him!"

9-11 And to think you were midwife at my birth,
setting me at my mother's breasts!
When I left the womb you cradled me;
since the moment of birth you've been my God.
Then you moved far away
and trouble moved in next door.
I need a neighbor.

12-13 Herds of bulls come at me,
the raging bulls stampede,
Horns lowered, nostrils flaring,
like a herd of buffalo on the move.

14-15 I'm a bucket kicked over and spilled,
every joint in my body has been pulled apart.
My heart is a blob
of melted wax in my gut.
I'm dry as a bone,
my tongue black and swollen.
They have laid me out for burial
in the dirt.

16-18 Now packs of wild dogs come at me;
thugs gang up on me.
They pin me down hand and foot,
and lock me in a cage—a bag
Of bones in a cage, stared at
by every passerby.
They take my wallet and the shirt off my back,
and then throw dice for my clothes.

19-21 You, God—don't put off my rescue!
Hurry and help me!
Don't let them cut my throat;
don't let those mongrels devour me.
If you don't show up soon,
I'm done for—gored by the bulls,
meat for the lions.

22-24 Here's the story I'll tell my friends when they come to worship,
and punctuate it with Hallelujahs:
Shout Hallelujah, you God-worshipers;
give glory, you sons of Jacob;
adore him, you daughters of Israel.
He has never let you down,
never looked the other way
when you were being kicked around.
He has never wandered off to do his own thing;
he has been right there, listening.

25-26 Here in this great gathering for worship
I have discovered this praise-life.
And I'll do what I promised right here
in front of the God-worshipers.
Down-and-outers sit at God's table
and eat their fill.
Everyone on the hunt for God
is here, praising him.
"Live it up, from head to toe.
Don't ever quit!"

27-28 From the four corners of the earth
people are coming to their senses,
are running back to God.
Long-lost families
are falling on their faces before him.
God has taken charge;
from now on he has the last word.

29 All the power-mongers are before him
—worshiping!
All the poor and powerless, too
—worshiping!
Along with those who never got it together
—worshiping!

30-31 Our children and their children
will get in on this
As the word is passed along
from parent to child.
Babies not yet conceived
will hear the good news—
that God does what he says.


So, this is why I write tonight. To stand witness for our young people and say to them you can get through this. To say to them you are not alone and the bullies are just that bullies, they pick on you because they can’t be honest and content with themselves.

I write this in the hope a message will go out loudly and clearly from other pastors and spiritual leaders who will walk the path of the Reverend George Groh, and hold these kids and look them in the eye and say to them; “You are God’s child and you are not a mistake!”

I write this because despite how it might feel right now, “tomorrow will be better”, I know because I have been there.

Spirit Day Remembers Recent Gay Suicides

10 | 20 | 10

Today is "Spirit Day," when lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders, queers and the people who love them wear purple in remembrance of the recent spate of gay suicides sparked by homophobic abuse in their homes, communities and schools: Tyler Clementi; Seth Walsh; Justin Aaberg; Raymond Chase; Asher Brown; Cody J. Barker; Harrison Chase Brown; Caleb Nolt; Billy Lucas; Jeanine Blanchette; and Chantal Dube.

Since the increase in reporting of gay suicides, The Trevor Project suicide hotline (866-4-U-Trevor) has seen its 25 weekly calls explode to more than 1,000. (You can easily donate $5 by texting the word "KIND" to 85944. Be sure to respond "YES" to confirm your donation.)

Jay Michaelson has written "Responding to Gay Suicides: What Teens can Do," with some simple actions that can help make them stop.

Bishop Gene Robinson exposes "How Religion is Killing Our Most Vulnerable Youth."

Organizers chose to encourage people to wear purple on this Day of Remembrance because purple represents "Spirit" on the rainbow flag.  The event is meant to raise public awareness about how anti-gay bullying, homophobia and heterosexism create environments hostile to life.

I suggest that rather than just remembering and honoring the spirits we've lost too soon, use Spirit Day to celebrate your life.  We should not only focus on what's wrong, but also celebrate what's right.  "Where attention goes, energy flows." 

Tens of thousands of people are wearing purple and making their Facebook profile photos purple today.  We who participate can not only demonstrate our support for LGBTQ youth but also choose to live in joy today and every day.  Troubled, assaulted gay youth need to not only see the swelling of support but also how good life can be (check out Dan Savage's "It Gets Better Project" website or YouTube).

Honor those we've lost by rejoicing in being alive.

You never know who's silently watching.

 

Homophobia, An Efficient Killer

{by Rev. Paul M. Turner, Gentle Spirit Christian Church of Atlanta}

 I guess it has been about 2 years since the Rev. Al Sharpton stood in the pulpit of Tabernacle Baptist church and gave this little gem concerning black clergy and the church:

“They preach homophobia from their pulpits Sunday morning and cruise the parks at night!”

I also remember after that service was over; this statement was stuck in my head.

Talking with some of my colleges and friends in the black community, I was informed not only was that statement true but also in fact there were any number of black clergy in the city of Atlanta who were an exact fit. “In fact, Pastor Paul, there are some pretty big and powerful preachers in the black church for whom Rev. Sharpton hit the nail on the head.”

I was dumbfounded.

I am sometimes naïve when it comes to the real world. I know a lot of politicians who would sell their own mother if it meant them getting elected and then lie about the sale, but pastors are and should be different right?

Apparently I am still somewhat of a heterosexist. Sure, there might be the whole hetro adultery thing going on in churches, but why would these very conservative, anti-gay preachers really take the risk of doing what they so virulently preach against - especially in such a small, talkative community?

Do they not understand if you beat us up long enough eventually we will expose you for who you really are?

Further, why would this small talkative community simply turn and take on the persona of “don’t ask, don’t tell?”

I have come to believe it is because homophobia is alive and well and more dangerous than ever.

“Homophobia” is the unreasoning fear of or antipathy toward homosexuals and homosexuality.

Which is why in a homophobic culture there is nothing worse than to be a homosexual or to practice homosexual behavior.  But strangely, the community seems to hold a different standard for black preachers as compared to white preachers. 

One might survive if they use drugs, one might survive if they misuse church funds and they might even survive if they are caught playing with the deacon’s wife. One survives these transgressions because “we all sin and fall short of the glory of God!” 

Remember the good Rev. Stanley of Peachtree Baptist? All was forgiven and forgotten. Bless his heart. Those who are part of the United Methodist Church know if a preacher is caught playing around in the congregation, come annual conference time the preacher is simply moved to another church. There is a long list of black preachers who are divorced or were divorced during their time in the pulpit and have survived rather nicely.

Yet, to cross the homosexual line and express homosexual behavior is the sin of all sins. This sin is the worst thing a person can do. One’s career, calling and respect in the community will be lost if they dare cross this line and get caught. 

There is nothing which will get the news Medias attention faster than a black male preacher who is caught having sex with another man. They jump on it with all the alleged details and leading statements of how horrific this person is. In very short order it becomes the subject of national news with powerful people weighing in with their knowledgeable (really lack of facts) opinions and attitudes. 

Of course if the accused person is anti-gay and is rather famous for attacking the LGBTQ community, then this just adds fuel to an already hotly burning fire.

Bishop Eddie Long ha been an ardent opponent of the LGBTQ community, even to the extent of having an “ex-gay” kind of ministry as a part of his mega church and who lead a huge march against gay marriage.  And now, Bishop Long has been accused not by one but four young men of stepping over the line into the sin of sins.

Now, I have to say for the sake of being honest, I have never been particularly impressed by the Bishop. Having Bentleys parked in one’s driveway, owning a private jet, and such excess has never struck me as the ministry of the gospel, but rather a ministry of prosperity and over-indulgence.

At the same time, his church claims 25,000 members! Damn, that is 9,000 more people than the town I grew up in.

If we do the math this also means conservatively speaking there are probably 1200 plus LGBTQ people associated with this ministry. 

Anyway, I digress. As I mention a few blogs ago the “victims” are already being blasted by the Bishop’s supporters. They are being called everything in the book and I would imagine before it is all said and done they will be painted as the predators of a powerful preacher. As I said before, this simply is the roots of homophobia rising to the surface…cause; well you know all gays are criminals.

Reports on the story have not said if the four young men themselves are gay or not. Before people write me and say this is not important…yes it is. Why? 

It would change the dynamics of the story from abuse of power to the possibility of a really messed up love triangle. There may be abuse of power but it would be a whole different animal at that point. A full day before the story broke, I got a heads up from a friend, “By the way, stay tuned, a very prominent local Bishop is about to be outed by his secret lover in a lawsuit.”

Now, please - if the way this story has been covered doesn’t prove how evil, how nasty, how un-repented and how dangereous homophobia is, then we are asleep.

It is true the Bishop set himself for a huge fall and made himself a target of people just dying to prove he is the ultimate hypocrite. 

Yet, the real problem here, the reason this story is so devastating is because of the homophobia that is intertwined all through it. This Bishop made a huge mark for himself with a ministry designed to destroy my (our) community. As a friend Craig Washington wrote in a column for “the Root”:

“Whether or not Long actually committed the acts of which he was recently accused, this much is true: He is assuredly guilty of engendering fear and hatred of LGBT people among thousands. He has convinced countless numbers of gays that they are sinners whose salvation rests on becoming 'reconditioned' into heterosexuality. Such toxic teachings reinforce the stigma that compromises HIV-prevention efforts as well as our mental and physical health.”

If the accusations are correct, there is a price to pay for such devastating hypocrisy. If the facts turn out to be something else, how will we deal with that?

While it is easy to be critical of how people live their lives, if these accusations turn out to be factual, will anyone ask or see how homophobia drove the Bishop to this moment. How, even knowing he had a gift to preach, he had to hide who he really was to pursue his career and calling?

Will the black congregations ever discuss their complicity in this drama, because the worst thing their preacher could do was be a homo?  Will the black church confront the ways it lives out “don’t ask and don’t tell” to the destruction of its young men every day.

If it turns out these accusations are really about something else, will my community stand and say to Bishop Long, “Hey we are really sorry we jumped the gun, cause you know you are such a jerk when it comes to our issues…well, we just wanted you to fall hard…sorry”.

Regardless of the outcome of this story, will we spend some time seeing how the devastating tentacles of homophobia wrapped themselves around the Bishop, the Bishop’s family, his friends, our community and as the outrage was expressed choked our any thought of compassion, understanding and love?

My friends this is a sad and heart breaking story, because it is really not about Bishop Long. The author of this story no matter how the facts turn out, no matter the drama unfolds, is Homophobia. It is a killer, it kills those who practice it and it kills those who internalize it. It sometimes kills those who fight it.

I think that may be why my friend Elder Tony Jones had this to say on his Facebook status:

“I reflect on Bishop Eddie Long and this recent matter, I am reminded of this one thing: Regardless to the outcome, unconditional love is still appropriate and necessary.”

My prayer is we all take heed; we all take a deep breath and take the Elder’s words to heart. For if we do, there is an opportunity here to begin to dismantle the destruction of homophobia and begin to heal.

{by Rev. Paul M. Turner, Gentle Spirit Christian Church of Atlanta}

Please support our advertiser, Sounds True:

SILENCE=DEATH

{by Rev. Paul M. Turner, Gentle Spirit Christian Church of Atlanta}

A couple of weeks ago, a person in our community received the news at the age of 26 they were HIV positive. This young mans life has taken a turn that sadly was preventable.

As I write tonight I am worried…I am scared…I am deeply disturbed. For you see for the last 30 years or so I have seen this before and this is reality come home again, for there are no fairy tale endings.

Yes, there are miracles, yes there are new discoveries and yes there is hope…for with the unconditional love of God there is always hope, always miracles, and always-new discoveries.

So here we are half way through 2010 and I find myself once again climbing up on a soapbox. I want to sound a warning, ring an alarm, rise up and shout from the mountaintop to my brothers and sisters in the gay, bi and straight community…ENOUGH ALREADY…STOP IT…HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MINDS?

This is 2010 not 1994 nor 1982. We know for a fact how HIV keeps it’s bloody record of death going. We really know this is not a manageable disease, but rather a killer that does unbelievable harm to untold millions of people. We know that the medications used to fight off this virus have horrible side effects and in the long run lose their effectiveness. We know that whole generations of humanity will never see their 21st birthday.

Yet, many gay men, bi men and straight men still behave as if HIV is an after thought, as if the magic pill will arrive just in time for Christmas. While I dare say it is not a majority, it is significant enough to cause untold misery and destruction for millions of people.

This is 2010 and we know we have the weapons that can stop this disease in its tracks. The weapons are so simple. One is an object and the other a program.

The object is called a condom and the program is called “needle exchange” or harm reduction (needle exchange and harm reduction is another blog).

Yet when you talk to folks in the community you would think I was “Henny-Penny and crying the sky is falling…think I am kidding? Take a look at this: (not for the squeamish) Some samples from Craigslist:

“I'm into a lot of different things such as public sex, fisting, bareback, bondage, w/s, group fun, Master/slave type "relationships"... and yes, that is meant to mean "strings". I expect that anyone who wants to get to know me should at least be open minded and adventurous, even if they haven't done it all. I live a polyamorous lifestyle. I hope this stuff here sums me up well.”

“I need to suck a **** and eat a large load of ***. I also get into rimming, body contact, J/O and whatever else you can think of. If you are negative I am bb friendly.”

“Yeah, bb btm loves to get plowed hard by raw ****
Into it? like seeding a hot, horny, furry hole?”

There are places in the fair city of Atlanta where one can go and have any number of sex partners in an evening and there are no condoms in sight or asked for. Before the straight folks reading this say ah hah it is you gays…let me be clear there are plenty of these clubs for straight folks as well and the men who are picking up women while out of town are not using condoms either. In fact go to any straight party club and well you get the idea.

I had a person in pastoral counseling who is now a recovering sexual addict tell me how he would go to a local hotel here in town…place an ad on Craig’s list giving his location and room number. He would invite anyone who wanted sex to his room to find the door unlocked and him blindfolded with his butt in the air waiting to receive all the bareback sex he could.

Or how about these websites that have thousands of subscribers for both gay and straight people:

Bare-back-central

Gay Bareback Sex and Hairy Masculine Men

Bareback Resources


The porn industry is a multi billion-dollar empire whose hottest films involve sex without condoms. If people are spending that kind of money you cannot convince me they are not doing what they see in film.

This is not a blog to sound a moral cry about how sexually loose society is, nor is it to start an ethics debate on adultery and or fornication.

Rather it is about admitting and recognizing people regardless of morals, ethics, or the churches teachings are going to have sex. They have been doing the “deed” since the beginning of time.

I will save the sexual ethics discussion for another time. Right now I am concerned about stopping the bleeding. For you see when a person is wounded, 9 times out of 10 before you do anything else you have got to stop the bleeding.

Stopping the bleeding in this case means if you are going to have sex be safe about it. Use a condom!

Believe me, I know they are easy to use, easy to dispose of and can save one from any number of life threatening or life ending diseases. My partner and I have been together 28 plus years and have never had sex without condom use.

My friends don’t we have a moral obligation to not put others at risk for our sexual enjoyment?

For those who call themselves Christian can you really in good conscience put your partner or yourself at risk of a shorten or messed up life for a night of taking care of a “sexual itch”?

Do not those who consider themselves tops have an obligation to say no to bare backing?

Do not those who consider themselves bottoms have an obligation to say no to letting someone inside them without a condom.

How about straight folks…unless you are making a child and you both have tested negative, don’t you have an obligation to keep each other safe? I know all about the marriage vows of fidelity, however it is what it is…I mean really…do you want to find out your partner cheated on you when you come up with a positive test?

If you are going to cheat on your partner or even if you have an open relationship do you really want to introduce HIV or God knows what other disease to the one you say you love?

Isn’t the whole relationship thing difficult enough without adding a premature death sentence to it?

The moral police will tell me the answer is abstinence and then only sex in wedlock.

Well that has really worked well hasn't it? Read the court dockets and the reasons for divorce. Look at the record levels of teen pregnancy. HIV rates of infection are up not down. STD’s are on the rise rather then declining.

People committing adultery in the State of Georgia can go to jail…but that is of little good to the one they infect and I might add too little too late. People who do not disclose their status if positive can face jail time...of course this is a little late isn't it. Kinda like closing the barn door after the horse is long gone.

Gay folk are denied marriage, so their only answer is no sex? Right-so now convince me that a healthy 20 something man is not going to have sex regardless of the marriage laws.

I was talking to a Pastor who works with folks who are HIV positive and he told me about an informal survey that was done for men in prison. People going into prison are given an HIV test. Of those who tested negative when they went into prison, 54% of them tested positive when they came out. Of course you don’t give prisoners condoms because that would be approving sex and the wrong kind of sex at that. What kind of screwed up thinking is that?

I want with all my heart to have conversations around long-term monogamous relationships.

I want to teach values, respect and commitment as a part of our sexual relations.

My faith walk encourages and even demands me to support and model that kind of sexual responsibility.

However, we are left with the reality people are going “sow their oats”, they are going to experiment, they are going to be wild, they are going to be stupid and do sexual things out of a lack of judgment.

Like it or not that is the condition of the human race, it is the way we live and learn.

Yet if I can convince folks who are going to have sex regardless of some moral authority, to use a condom they might live long enough to learn a sense of responsibility.

If I can convince folks that if you have sex without a condom you are either suicidal or are a totally self-absorbed selfish person they might live long enough to learn there is other peoples lives at stake.

So to those men in the gay, bi and straight community…I am begging you, pleading with you, save a life and use a condom.

For those who would blast me for writing this blog, thinking this is the wrong subject for a minister to write about or it was just too graphic please remember:

Silence=Death and my friends we have been silent far too long in the matters of safe sex and the use of the condom.

   

Sergius and Bacchus: A pair of gay saints

Saints Sergius and Bacchus were Roman soldiers, Christian martyrs and gay men who loved each other. They were killed around 303 in present-day Syria. Their feast day is observed on Oct. 7. The couple was openly gay, but secretly Christian -- the opposite of today’s closeted Christians.

The close bond between the two men has been emphasized since the earliest accounts, and recent scholarship has revealed their homosexuality. The oldest record of their martyrdom describes them as erastai (Greek for “lovers”). Scholars believe that they may have been united in the rite of adelphopoiesis (brother-making), a kind of early Christian same-sex marriage.

A classic example of paired saints, Sergius and Bacchus were high-ranking young officers. Sergius was primicerius (commander) and Bacchus was secundarius (subaltern officer). They were tortured to death after they refused to attend sacrifices to Zeus, thus revealing their secret Christianity.

The men were arrested and paraded through the streets in women’s clothing in an unsuccessful effort to humiliate them. Early accounts say that they responded by chanting that they were dressed as brides of Christ. They told their captors that women’s dress never stopped women from worshipping Christ, so it wouldn’t stop them, either. Then Sergius and Bacchus were separated and beaten so severely that Bacchus died.

According to the early manuscripts, Bacchus appeared to Sergius that night with a face as radiant as an angel’s, dressed once again as a soldier. He urged Sergius not to give up because they would be reunited in heaven as lovers. His statement is unique in the history of martyrs. Usually the promised reward is union with God, not with a lover. Over the next days Sergius was tortured and eventually beheaded.

Sergius’ tomb became a famous shrine, and for nearly 1,000 years the couple was revered as the official patrons of the Byzantine army. Many early churches were named after Sergius, sometimes with Bacchus. They are recognized as martyrs by the Catholic, Eastern Orthodox and Oriental Orthodox churches. The pair was venerated through the Mediterranean, the Middle East, Latin America and among the Slavs. Sergius and Bacchus continue to be popular saints with Christian Arabs and now among GLBT Christians and their allies.

The icon above was painted by Brother Robert Lentz, a Franciscan friar and world-class iconographer known for his innovative icons. “Saints Sergius and Bacchus” is one of 10 Lentz icons that sparked a major controversy a few years ago.

Critics accused Lentz of glorifying sin and creating propaganda for a progressive sociopolitical agenda. They caused such a stir that in order to keep the peace between his Franciscan province and the Archbishop of Santa Fe, New Mexico, Lentz gave away the copyright for the 10 controversial images to his distributor, Trinity Stores. Lentz had his name removed from those images on the Trinity website, but later reclaimed authorship. All 10 are now displayed there as a collection titled “Images That Challenge.” The group includes gay-positive, women-affirming and pagan-oriented icons. Lentz’ own moving spiritual journey and some of his icons are included in the book Art That Dares: Gay Jesus, Woman Christ, and More.

To learn more about Sergius and Bacchus, check out “Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe” by John Boswell and “Passionate Holiness” by Dennis O’Neill.

Image credit: Saints Sergius and Bacchus By Brother Robert Lentz, OFM. Copyright 1994. Courtesy of www.trinitystores.com (800.699.4482)

_________

This post was written by lesbian Christian author Kittredge Cherry. It is part of the new “GLBT Saints” series at the Jesus in Love Blog, where it is cross-posted. Saints and holy people of special interest to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) people and our allies are covered on appropriate dates throughout the year.

A Third Fire: Andrew Harvey's Sacred Activism

Andrew Harvey, contemporary gay mystic, scholar, and author of Son of Man, The Direct Path, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, discusses the Divine, the Shadow, Gay Activism and his newly released book, The Hope: A Guide to Sacred Activism, in this exclusive, in-depth interview with MyOutSpirit contributor, Rev. Tom Cummiskey.

HIGHLIGHTS

(full interview follows)

"At a time that is as dreadful and challenging as this, the greatest courage we need is to plunge into our Divine nature and start to live it out with its fearlessness and truth and passion for justice on every level and in every realm of the world."

"This narcissism and these shadows that afflict both the activist and the mystic can only really be healed when the fire of the mystic’s passion for God is united with the fire of the activist’s passion for justice to form a third fire, which is Divine love and wisdom in action."

"This radical transformation of human nature...can only take place when people really risk the death into life, the dark night of the soul, the stripping and burning down of the agendas and illusions of the ego."

"What is called for is a wholly new level of power.  And this power does not belong to the ego, it cannot be wielded by the ego, it cannot be streamed by the ego and it can only stream through someone who has died into life."

"Because we have not been allowed to believe in the holiness of our sexuality and in the holiness of the desires of our love, many of us have given ourselves over to mindless promiscuity which makes the birth of the authentic tantra impossible...

"The sexual meaninglessness of the gay world is now a kind of epidemic where people pretend to be living wildly liberated lives, but are in fact living lives in which energy is being leaked off at every level, in lives without any authentic connection."

"All these years of sexual, so called sexual liberation, haven't really gone down deep enough to heal the self-loathing and sense of isolation and sense of meaninglessness and sense of desperation that, unfortunately, we as homosexuals have inherited." 

"The very people who need the direct connection with the direct Beloved, beyond dogma, are prevented by their own wild and completely justifiable rage at religion from using the pain that they have been through to help them plunge into an authentic spiritual path."

"Gay people, in their search for their legitimate rights, come across as spoiled and entitled and consumerist in their vision of reality instead of placing their claiming of these rights in a much larger, more powerful context."

"If you follow your heartbreak, what you will find at the core of the heartbreak is a fountain of burning and deathless passion that will never run dry."

"The more we see gay people emerging with this kind of broad generosity of soul and wild commitment to transformation and profound love and compassion for all beings and justice for all beings, the more the fears of the straight community about gay people will be healed."

"As victims of separation and victims of division and as victims of unbelievable cruelty, it is up to us to really manifest the kind of compassion, the kind of all embracing understanding and the kind of commitment to love that will truly transform others.  Take the darkness we’ve been given and transform it into golden light."

Click below to read MyOutSpirit's entire interview with Andrew Harvey.