Choosing Spongebob Over Bitterness

I struggle with bitterness.

I'm a gay man who spent 10 years as part of the ex-gay movement.  I was a full-time staff minister in the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod serving as a youth and family minister at a congregation in San Antonio, TX, and as a missionary in Dourados, Brazil.  In 2001 I lost my marriage and my ministry because I was told as someone who is sexually attracted to the same sex that I was a liability and might possibly molest a teenager.

As a gay man I am bombarded with messages that I'm not quite good enough.  The religious right in this country is constantly reminding me that my relationship is not quite good enough to be given the same legal standing as heterosexual reationships.  My partner, a high school health teacher, would be not quite good enough to teach their children sex education if he were to come out at work. And none of us are quite good enough to be welcomed in church without having to change or deny our sexual orientation.

I could spend alot of time being bitter about these things. 

I appreciated the United Church of Christ's response to James Dobson last week and the comments he made criticizing Spongebob Squarepants for appearing in a children's video promoting tolerance.  It is tempting to respond to hate with hate, to intolerance with intolerance, and to ignorance with anger.  I think that those of us on the more liberal end of the spectrum sometimes let our anger get the best of us.  The UCC went a different route.  Taking a cue from Matthew 5:39 (which instructs Christians to "not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."), the UCC turned the other cheek and used humor to expose Dobson's remarks for what they are.

In the future, I am going to choose Spongebob over bitterness and anger.  Thank you, UCC, for showing me that a smile works better than a fist.

Comments

[NancyP]

How could one not laugh at The SpongeBob Scandal? To paraphrase a character in a Jane Austen novel, even mutual ENEMIES are put on this earth to amuse each other (if they have the wit to notice).

[Cindi]

Thanks for giving me a new way to look at SpongeBob-gate. I loved the UCC response. I haven't figured out the respect the reich-wing gives Dr. Dobson. If he keeps this kind of stuff up, he may find himself without ego-worshipers.