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« How business is getting real | Main | What do the symbols mean? »

September 27, 2006


joe perez

My opinion is that what you call queergay sex and queergay love have indeed parted ways, but I would date the parting not to the rise of AIDS in the 1980s but nearly to the beginning of time... and I would call queergay love "homophilia" and queergay sexual desire "infusion" and note that they are universal human dimensions of love. I believe the split between homophilia and infusion is one part of the split between body, mind, soul, and spirit. Do you believe that God is Love, as I do--a belief taught from my Christian faith? Then perhaps we may agree that the gay sexual revolution is a major force for healing this split in the being of Spirit: putting that which is divided back together into a more whole embrace. Homophilia and infusion exploded together with gay liberation. Since then, there has been a calming of energy, but also a maturing. The power of infusion and homophilia is still available to us all, even in the solitude of our one-on-one sex. We need not and must not wait for the day to come without disease or shame to enjoy it.


Thank you very much, Joe. Your thoughts are very helpful and timely. My inquiries here are a kind of reminder, or foreword, to keep myself oriented as I develop a project of deeper inquiry; where your - our - point of view, as gay men, is deeply implicated: a humane orientation, if you will. (If the last sentence is unclear, it may be due to the fact that it is 05:28 PST and face a deadline a few hours hence.)

I'm consciously choosing a methodology of musical procedure in developing my thoughts, where, presently, my attention is focused on lyrical elements. Further along, modal, polyvocal, harmonic, rhythmic, etc. Structure will fall in along, and I intuit your comments will play a vital role.

Thanks again. Till next...


oh, yes, I do trust that God is love, belief having moved to the passenger seat for the present (who's at the wheel, Good Lord?!?), and my spiritual orientation, as yours, is Christian. thx for asking!


I am also a classically trained professional violinist, in retirement for now in pursuit of writing.


Good gracious, I just now noticed the questions you wrote. They are quite to the point, aren't they? I hope others will post here too. I am considering, and anticipate along way, a practical, therapeutic application. Healing the split is always the challenge, yes. :)

mike carney

hi there

just came across your site today ...feeling confused and looking for some form of retreat mid to late december 06 to chat with like minded others 43 yrs young, hiv- ,lost a number of friends to lifestyle choices..fucked around until i lost and found myself and lost it again etc etc cant be arsed wdith drugs anymore looking for a life i can be as proud of as i was as a young queen in the 80s and again in the early 90s and still wanting more in the 00s yet i struggle with this deja nu culture i cant have seen it all before as i,v had always had my eyes half closed like to chat with other mature guys who feel their outsiders ....

joe perez


you say you're looking for a retreat. check out the links on the sidebar to The ManKind Project, which I highly recommend though if having a 100% safe space with gay men is important there are better choices. Again, look under "Retreats and Workshops" and see what you find. You may also benefit from finding a 12-step group such as NA in your area and seeing if they have a men's retreat coming up (many do). Blessings, Joe

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