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« Excerpt from Soulfully Gay: On homophilia | Main | Gay Muslims Reveal Different Evolutionary Stages of Faith Development »

November 06, 2007



just to clarify: if two gay men engage in sex after a period of time, in which they committed to purity, they are to be considered monogamous? or it then requires them to consistantly desire one another's company?


i am going thru the same scenario right now in my life....only from a lesbian point of view. with a partner for over eleven years. she has recently moved about 500 miles away to be with kids and grandkids.
i need guidance to my inside beliefs and feelings regarding seeking sexual interest outside my partner.


Joe, I think the main reason monogamy is recommended is because the body is inherently limited. You cannot have sex with the whole universe using the body. Even in ethical polyfidelity arrangements, at best you can be intimate with three, four or five people. There are *billions* of people in the world! And even with polyfidelity it is an open question whether one could love all their partners equally.

This is where the soul comes in, because the awakening of the soul provides a way to transcend the limitations of the body. The great Indian sage Sri Aurobindo notes:

"For monogamy may be the best for the body, but the soul that loves God in men dwells here always as the boundless & ecstatic polygamist; yet all the time — that is the secret — it is in love with only one being."

I think that forced monogamy -- because of fears of jealousy or wanting to follow some moral (not spiritual) ideal -- is very immature. But I think there is a mature monogamy that one will arrive at naturally, that can eventually widen out into a spiritual celibacy which is basically the transcendence of sexuality altogether.

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