The Best Holiday Gift for 2008? Your Best Self!

In this MyOutSpirit.com exclusive, gay prosperity coach, Joselito Laudencia, tells us how to feel wealthy in the midst of the economic crisis: by being your best Self.

On the Friday after Thanksgiving, I ventured into San Francisco’s Union Square shopping district with thousands of other shoppers.

Yes, I know, it was a crazy idea. But I just had to be a part of this American phenomenon called Black Friday. Black Friday got its name because it usually marked the day when retailers started to make their annual profit.

On this day, stores across the country usually open way early before roosters get a chance to get in their morning coffee-doodle-doo. And they offer “doorbuster” specials, meaning prices for the latest, hottest items are so low that people will bust the door to buy them (which literally happened at a WalMart in New York, this year).

With coupons in hand that gave me an extra 20% off, I rummaged through piles of clearance sale clothes. I played with the digital picture frames. I heard shoppers talking about the $1,000 espresso machine that was a steal at 40% off.

I mentally went through the list of who I needed to get holiday gifts for.  My partner, my best friends, my mom, my aunt, my uncle, my three sisters, all their partners, all their kids, and it went on and on. And then the thought arose..

When did holiday “giving” become an obligation?

In the midst of all this, news headlines around the world clamor about the dire economic crisis – home foreclosures, bank bailouts, the failing U.S. auto industry, credit crunches, downsizing and massive layoffs. And economic “pundits” say we’ve only touched the tip of the iceberg.

For the past few years, I’ve started the holiday season with the same question to my partner: “What if we made chocolate chip cookies this year and gave those out as presents instead of buying gifts?” In the end, we always opted to buy gifts. But this year that question seemed more tempting (and delicious, too!).

This particular holiday season is tough for a lot of people, maybe including you. People are asking themselves, “How do I survive in this economic climate? What can I give during these holidays when I’m doing enough to just get by?”

The answer lies in how you look at the question.

In the Chinese language, the written Chinese character for the word “crisis” is also the same character for the word “opportunity”. It all depends on how you look at it. So what’s the opportunity here?

The opportunity here is to turn your thinking around.

In the face of crisis, the natural tendency for many people is to retract. People shut down and go into survival mode. “What can I do for me” becomes the primary mode of behavior. Behind this question are feelings of scarcity and not enough-ness.

But this mode of behavior usually ends up with more feelings of scarcity and doesn’t really alleviate the situation. Instead of doing something that hasn’t worked, what if you tried something else? Instead of thinking “what can I do for me,” ask the question what can I do for others?

The opportunity amidst this crisis that’s available to all of us right now is for each of us to commit to make a difference in the world. And what’s the best way to make a difference?

Be different.

Or, in other words, be your unique self. Don’t conform to mass mentality and behaviors. Conform to the truth of who you are.

Let me break it down for you.

The primary reason why so many people are not thriving in this economic climate is that they are not honoring their unique selves. Each person has a unique gift to share with the world, and you know you’re expressing it when you feel unreasonably happy.

There are masses out there who cling to their jobs because they believe that their jobs are the source of their livelihood. But that’s not true! The source of your livelihood is your inner passion and your inner joy. When you share your unique gifts that are of service to the world and that bring you outrageous joy, your enthusiasm and your energy automatically expand, and you attract people, things and experiences in your life that you might not have dreamed possible. Thriving isn’t only about money. It’s also about living a healthy and fulfilling life in all areas.

The key to thriving, then, is all about giving – how to give your unique, joyous self in service to others and the world.

And so for this holiday season, I challenge you with this question: How can you give to your loved ones and to others from a place that is uniquely you, and that gives you both deep meaning and joy?

Sure, you can give him the new iPhone that he’s been hinting about for the last few months. But what would it be like if you surprised him on a Saturday morning and took him on a nature walk? What if, while you walked in the beautiful surroundings, you told him how special he was and what you appreciated about him?

Sure, giving that sweater she’s been wanting may give her satisfaction. But what would it be like if you cooked her a dinner with all her favorite foods, set the table with a loving note that said this night was all about her, and plated and presented the food with complete class?

Instead of running to a department store to get the “doorbuster” special, imagine if you busted your own door and your walls, sharing your heart and your gifts with others in the world? When you come from that place of authenticity, giving and openness, people will remember those moments the most. And if your gifts are of service to the world, people will gladly pay you for it! People are craving realness and authenticity!

If you’re looking for the answer for how to survive and thrive in this economic climate…If you’re looking for what and how to give this holiday season…the answer is the same for both questions.

Be the gift.

Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones!

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Joselito Laudencia is a prosperity coach for the gay community, helping gay men to live more freely and to make money doing what they love. He will be launching a group coaching program in 2009 called “Living Free: A Gay Guy’s Guide to Life, Money & Relationships.” Sign up for his free ezine “Abundant Good Living: Prosperity Strategies for the Gay Community” at www.abundantgood.com.

Art: KRISHNA by Archan Nair  

Comments

[Susan]

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Susan