Into The Woods

A parable:  A boy keeps sneaking off into the woods. His father becomes concerned. One day the father asks the boy, "Why are you spending so much time in those woods? And the boy replies, "To be closer to God."

"But," says the father, "you don't need to do anything like that to be close to God.  God is everywhere. God is no different in the forest than out here in the rest of the world."

"Yes, father," smiles the boy, "but in the woods, *I* am different."

I am heading into the woods.

When I was a young boy in the Southern Baptist Church in Arkadelphia, AK, I was drawn to the front of the church during the final call to prayer one Sunday morning.  Pastor Kluck leaned in to where I was kneeling at the altar to find out what was wrong; children didn't usually come down.

"I think I'm supposed to be a minister like you," I said very seriously in my ten-year-old voice. "God wants me to help people."

Obviously, I've come a long way in my understanding of Spirit, and my Self, since then.  It was a few years later, when puberty was manifesting my sexual orientation, when I finally realized I needed real answers to my questions, not more mythology.  Because my real spiritual journey started at the same time as my awareness of my homosexuality, the two have always been intertwined for me.

So much has changed, but I still feel called to serve.  I still have faith that I can make a difference.

I've been "serving two masters" ever since I started developing MyOutSpirit.com as a way to consolidate energy and attention to generate sufficient power to shift queer culture toward deep connection, compassion, spiritual growth, sustainability, personal development, and physical, mental and social health.  I have always held down a more-then-full-time job while doing my best to build MyOutSpirit.com, and I'm grateful to those jobs - they helped make MyOutSpirit.com possible.

At the same time, "No one can serve two masters" (Matt. 6:24), and I am at a liminal point in my personal development where I need to consolidate MY energy and attention to fully manifest this dream I have for my people, my community, my world - and for my life.

So, I'm heading into the woods.

In the parable above, the father and son are both right, of course.  As the father says, spirit is everywhere, interpenetrating everything.  But the son is right, too, that sometimes solitude and silence and freedom from attachment and distraction are the best way to connect with Spirit.  Sometimes you've got to go into the woods to hear God.

I'm not going into the ministry (not that I won't), but I'm also not urgently trying to find a new 2nd job - or a place to live, for that matter.  At this point, a new nest also means a whole host of responsibilities and distractions that keep me from my highest Good.

For as long as I can, I am choosing to only be employed serving YOU, the MyOutSpirit community of transgender, lesbian, bisexual, gay, intersex, queer sisters and brothers! 

I will be selling pretty much everything I own in the next couple of weeks, including all my furniture, many books, some family heirlooms, my comic book collection, my television - all the non-essential STUFF I've accumulated and used to define myself.

My dear friend Chandi has offered to take my dog, P'u ("Pooh," pictured with me above).  Giving him up will be the hardest part.

Then, INTO THE WOODS!  I plan to hit the road! 

I don't know where I'm going first, although I'm overdue to see my family in Austin, Texas.  My plan is to visit LGBT communities around the country for a month or so at a time, registering EVERY LGBT-affirming body/mind/spirit resource for MyOutSpirit.com and hiring "Community Builders" to help me.  I'll also be organizing "MyOutSpirit Deep Dives" and "Coming Out Day" events wherever I stop.  I want to grow MyOutSpirit.com into a vibrant resource for the community, and also help LGBT-affirming resources serve the deep needs of the LGBTQ community, as well as our needs for advocacy.

Not-knowing is strange, but I've discovered that if I lift my foot - by the time I put it down again the next step on this journey has appeared.

I will need places to stay, so if you have a guest room, a parsonage, a couch, an office space, where I can sleep and work, please let me know.

If all you have are hands or prayers, I'll take those, too!

It's like my whole life has led up to this - from ten-year-old boy on his knees in church to my avant-garde sacred dance-theatre company, to Prism Mountain, Soulforce, my book SHIRT OF FLAME, establishing AFSC's Faith Action Network, the Gay Spirit Culture Summit, and MyOutSpirit.com.

I'm heading into the woods.  You coming?

Love,
Clayton Gibson
Ann Arbor, MI
 

Comments

[A. Latham Staples]

I'm proud of all that you are doing and know you'll influence many along the way!

[pennyjane]

i think i know a little about where you are coming from clayton. it was my own spiritual (christian) devotion that forced me to acknowledge my own transsexualism and do something positive about it....that is, take it out to the woods. the little boy is right, i am the one who is different out here, God really is everywhere. it's me who hears Him more clearly out of my own little comfort zone.

many people don't understand at all when i say the catalyst for my transition from terrified and miserable man to full and blossoming woman was God. it was He who insisted i come out here to the woods where i could be closer to Him...He could never get any closer to me.

i'm glad you are listening to God's call. giving up everything is not a price you are paying, not a sacrifice...but a wonderful blessing. now you will have room to accumulate those things God wants you to have instead of the things you want to have. for a transsexual that's what it is...you put everything on the block...protect and defend nothing...give it all up and start fresh with only what God thinks you need. somehow He has a special insight into what you really need and will never leave you wanting. when your work is His work it will be done.

Go with Him. much love and hope. pj

[MyOutSpirit.com Founder, Clayton Gibson]

Thank you, PJ!

[Ryan and Julie R]

Clayton, if you ever need a place to stay in the Dallas area you are always welcome. We have a guest bedroom, bathroom, and pool to make your stay more comfortable.

[Riverwolf]

How wonderful! I applaud your vision--and your guts! And I totally get your quote about the woods; that's exactly how I feel. Best wishes and I look forward to updates and hearing more about your new endeavor.

[Kittredge Cherry]

Clayton, My prayers and best wishes go with you on your journey. I will contribute by continuing to post here at the Gay Spirituality blog.

I can’t help remembering Jesus’ words when he sent the Twelve off to teach and heal in God’s name:

He told them, "Take nothing for the journey—no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra tunic. Whatever house you enter, stay there until you leave that town. If people do not welcome you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave their town, as a testimony against them." (Luke 9:3-5)

Thank you for everything you do for us, the MyOutSpirit community of transgender, lesbian, bisexual, gay, intersex, queer sisters and brothers!

[pennyjane]

"shake the dust off your feet when you leave their town, as a testimony against them." oh, kitt...what a powerful metaphore that is. on the surface it seems to reek of indignation but just under that rough surface it speaks more of dignity itself. as Christ Himself shook to galalean dust from His feet after His message fell on the deaf ears of His breathern there He didn't do so with indignation, He did so with love and with compassion. He gave His testimony against them, then forgave them and with a dignity most of us can only imagine went on with His mission.

i'm reminded by your words from scripture of the many places our brothers and sisters with soulforce have left...shaking the dust from their feet, enduring all the indignities of so many they minister to with dignity that can only be given by our God...our Lord and our Savior, Jesus Christ.

as clayton goes off into the woods, it's true...i'm so sure we'll see where the T/two sets of footprints have paused...shook off the dust and moved on...leaving that sacred dust in the wake and in the air.

much love and hope. pj

[Pal]

God bless you. If you need a place to stay in Southwestern Washington State let me know. My husband and I actually live in the woods!

[Graham-Michael]

Hi Clayton,
Have only just caught up with this - thanks for all you do with this fabulous site - have a great adventure, and should you manage it on your journey and find yourself in New Zealand, there's a room here for you. Go well, with blessings and prayers.

[Tom Cummiskey]

A true missionary in the very best sense of the word! You're taking a necessary yet heroic step--as you know.
We will do something here in Charlotte for Coming Out Spiritually! We attend a former Southern Baptist Church which is very open and affirming. There is also a burgeoning group of gay spirit folk forming in our midst, so something will happen.
Blessings and peace on your journey and if you're in the Queen City, please stop by..you are always welcome.

[Peter]

I love dogs and your dog is just so wonderful, it looks so pretty!!!
peter!

[peter]

really, I used to have one very similar to yours but he died!!
T_T
So I bought a French poodle!!
peter