Pastorpaul on December 31, 2014 in Bullying, Christianity, Current Affairs | Permalink | Comments (0)
Reblog
(0)
|
|
Pastorpaul on March 08, 2014 in Bisexual Issues, Bullying, Christianity, Current Affairs, Ethics, Morality, and Values, Fighting Homophobia, Gay Culture and Lifestyles, Gay Spirituality, Men's Issues, MyOutSpirit Member Spotlight, Personal Growth, Politics and Spirituality, Queer Youth, Religion, Sexuality and Spirituality, Spiritual Community, Spirituality, Theology, Violence | Permalink | Comments (0)
Reblog
(0)
|
|
{by Rev. Paul M. Turner, Gentle Spirit Christian Church of Atlanta}
Sometimes one of the toughest parts of the job of being a pastor and to be considered a community leader is offering counsel to the community that is divided.
Recently Georgia's LGBTQIA community was faced with a deep and sharp divide.
February 4, 2012, a young gay man was savagely beaten as he came out of a store in his neighborhood. This young man, Brandon White, became an instant poster child for a hate crime law in Georgia because the idiots who felt they had the right to beat him filmed it and, well, the rest is history.
On February 8, 2012 CNN reporter Moni Basu wrote the following about the crime:
“A video circulated online shows three men punching and kicking White after he stepped out of the JVC Grocery and Deli in southwest Atlanta's Pittsburgh neighborhood. The men, believed to be members of a gang called Jack City, yelled: "No faggots in Jack City."
Pastorpaul on August 22, 2012 in Bullying, Christianity, Current Affairs, Ethics, Morality, and Values, Fighting Homophobia, Politics and Spirituality, Religion, Violence | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Reblog
(0)
|
|
By Kittredge Cherry (Jesus in Love)
Tyler Clementi (1992-2010) brought international attention to bullying-related suicide of LGBT youth when he jumped to his death on Sept. 22, 2010 (one year ago today). Clementi was an 18-year-old freshman at Rutgers University in New Jersey when he died. A talented violinist, he came out to his parents as gay before leaving home for college.
Three days before his suicide, Clementi’s room mate used a webcam to secretly record Clementi kissing another man in their dorm room and streamed the video live over the Internet. In messages posted online before he took his own life, Clementi told how he complained to authorities about the cyber-bullying and asked for a new room assignment. Then he jumped off the George Washington Bridge. It took a week to find his body.
The room mate, Dharum Ravi, also 18 at the time, is charged with several crimes in connection with Clementi’s suicide, including invasion of privacy and bias intimidation. His accomplice, Molly Wei, avoided jail time by agreeing to testify against Ravi. He is scheduled to be back in court Oct. 20.
Anti-LGBT statements by public figures are also partly responsible for Clementi’s death. They created the hostile environment that drove Clementi to suicide. Artist Louisa Bertman emphasizes this point in her powerful ink illustration, “Tyler Clementi, JUMP!” She makes visible the hateful voices that may have been in Clementi’s mind. In her drawing, his head overflows with people urging him to jump.
They are politicians as well as the actual students who bullied him. Their names are listed in a stark statement at the bottom of the drawing: “Message brought to you by Sally Kern, Kim Meltzer, Nathan Deal, Carl Paladino, Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin, Tom Emmer, Jeremy Walters, Rick Perry, Bob Vander Plaats, Dharun Ravi, & Molly Wei.”
Bertman, an artist based in Cambridge, Massachusetts, is known for her non-traditional portraits. Clementi’s highly publicized tragedy made him into a gay martyr whose untimely death put a public face on the problems of LGBT teenagers. His story sparked efforts to support LGBT youth, raise awareness of the harassment they face, and prevent suicide among queer young people. Another result is new legislation stiffening penalties for cyber harassment.
Clementi helped inspire the founding of the It Gets Better Project and Spirit Day. The It Get Better Project aims to stop suicide among LGBT teens with videos of adults assuring them that “it gets better.” Spirit Day, first observed on Oct. 20, 2010, is a day when people wear purple to show support for young LGBT victims of bullying.
Unfortunately Clementi’s experience is far from rare. Openly lesbian talk show host Ellen Degeneres spoke for many in a video message that put his suicide into context shortly after he died: “I am devastated by the death of 18-year-old Tyler Clementi….Something must be done. This month alone, there has been a shocking number of news stories about teens who have been teased and bullied and then committed suicide; like 13-year-old Seth Walsh in Tehachapi, California. Asher Brown, 13, of Cypress, Texas and 15-year-old Billy Lucas in Greensberg, Indiana. This needs to be a wake-up call to everyone: teenage bullying and teasing is an epidemic in this country, and the death rate is climbing.”
Help is available right now from the Trevor Project, a 24-hour national help line for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning teens. Contact them at 866 4U TREVOR or their website: thetrevorproject.org.
___ Kittredge Cherry is a lesbian author who blogs on LGBT spirituality and the arts at the Jesus in Love Blog, where this is cross-posted.
Image credit: “Tyler Clementi, Jump!” by Louisa Bertman
Kittredge Cherry on September 22, 2011 in Bullying, Current Affairs, Fighting Homophobia, GLBTQ History, Queer Youth | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
Tags: art, bullying, gay, Glbt, harassment, suicide, teen, Tyler Clementi, youth
Reblog
(0)
|
|
“For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one striking at the root.” (Thoreau)
Since the spike in reporting of gay teen suicides last fall, Anti-Bullying legislation and awareness has sky-rocketed. “No-tolerance” policies and similar efforts to keep all students safe are one important way of reducing undesirable behavior, but they do not address the root causes of bullying. We think it’s a spiritual problem.
In this series, MyOutSpirit.com asks LGBTQ spiritual leaders what the root causes of bullying are and how we can heal them in our children and ourselves.
{Mary Anne Flanagan, Toning the OM}
Anytime we remove human dignity, we are bullying.
Whether in the streets of Libya or Cairo, classrooms in the inner city, college dorm rooms, or Gay Pride Parades – when we make others feel less-than with our words or actions – we are bullies. It’s the mentality of creating separation through comparison.
We have grown up with it – winter/summer, light/dark, right/left, masculine/feminine, power/vision and on and on. But maybe now is the time to release dissimilar energies and welcome complimentary opposites. This offers all of us an opportunity to look more deeply at our “us-vs-them” mentality.
In his book, Us and Them: Understanding Your Tribal Mind, David Berreby explains why people are wedded to the notion that they belong to differing tribe-like categories. David Berreby describes how each person creates his own mind map, identifies others with similar mind maps and ostracizes all those who are different. Based in solid scientific research, David Berreby exposes new discoveries about the mind and brain. It’s a book about looking at “human-kind” thinking.
According to neuroscience research, there are approximately 20,000 moments in each day. A moment is defined as the few seconds our brains record an experience. At every moment we are presented with either an opportunity or a threat. Since the beginning of time, we were more likely to view the world as a threat – survival of the fittest. But through evolution, we have learned to co-operate, collaborate, and co-habitate.
Whether in a positive psychology class, management course, or neuroscience research, there is a lot of information about the benefits of working in teams or seeing each other as opportunities over threats. We can choose opportunities which release neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin (neurotransmitters that make us feel good) or we can choose threats which release cortisol (often what makes us feel defensive and even withdrawn).
When we stay angry at a person or group it not only creates an us-vs-them mentality, it can actually affect our health. According to Positive Psychology founder, Martin Seligman, forgiveness can actually increase our overall health and well-being. As Seligman says, “People who are forgiving have less anger, less depression, less hostility, and are less neurotic and less vengeful. Forgiveness increases your own happiness.”
We have all been bullied in some form or fashion. Growing up as a tomboy, I was often teased for looking and acting too masculine. I could play sports better than some boys in my class and they in turn felt threatened and lashed out with verbal put-downs. I stopped playing sports because I wanted to fit in.
Later, when I came out, I was bullied at gay pride parades and marches. I even had bottles thrown at me. But as an adult, I was able to see this as an opportunity. Now, I had the opportunity to teach others that I am not a threat to them. I could live life as an open, honest, loving gay woman. I choose to believe that my life of service, generosity, and love is meaningful and full of hope.
Our tendency may be to create more rules and laws for anti-bullying, but what if we focused on pro-love instead? When we teach kids to stop bullying, we are focusing on fear, us-vs-them. We are telling kids (and adults) how not to behave, when instead we could be teaching a more positive and proactive approach. We can teach them how to love themselves and in turn, one another. We can live with complimentary opposites. In fact, our world learns from a place of intercultural diversity, engaging dialogs, and a movement away from traditional ideas of diversity towards richer concepts of differences.
We don't need more “anti” laws. We need “pro” actions. As Byron Katie says, “Love is action.” It's for something. Love stands up and says “I'm here. What do you want more of?”
The bottom line is you can’t change others, but you can change yourself and when you do, you can change your ideas about others, thereby creating new wiring in your brain that allows for opportunity – one that’s enveloped with actions of love.
And the truth is I can’t teach you to love – all I can do is BE love and hope you see that when love leads, love follows.
Mary Anne Flanagan is a Certified Life Coach, Shamanic Practitioner and Teacher workshop facilitator, inspired speaker, and creator of Toning the OM™. Mary Anne Flanagan/Toning the OM™: [email protected] or 917.238.9726. Visit http://www.toningtheom.com
PLEASE SUPPORT THIS BLOG - CLICK "JOIN NOW" AT THE TOP OF THE LEFT COLUMN ON THIS PAGE TO MAKE A DONATION. THANK YOU!
MyOutSpirit.com Founder, Clayton Gibson on March 02, 2011 in Bullying, Current Affairs, Mental Health, Queer Youth, Violence | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Reblog
(0)
|
|
“For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one striking at the root.” (Thoreau)
Since the spike in reporting of gay teen suicides last fall, Anti-Bullying legislation and awareness has sky-rocketed. “No-tolerance” policies and similar efforts to keep all students safe are one important way of reducing undesirable behavior, but they do not address the root causes of bullying. We think it’s a spiritual problem.
In this series, MyOutSpirit.com asks LGBTQ spiritual leaders what the root causes of bullying are and how we can heal them in our children and ourselves.
Lani Kwon Meilgaard, MA, Founder, Creating CoPOWERment Center LLC:
The root of bullying is the bully’s own hurt and anger. The bully suffered humiliation as a child and needs to feel bigger than whoever initially hurt her or him. The bully acts out of the false worldview that if the bully punches or puts down someone else, she/he will be superior to them and, thus, overcome their own past traumas.
I speak from personal experience, having been on both sides of that equation. I was never a bully as a regular practice, but I have often been triggered by my own past trauma to lash out at innocent people.
We must remember that all of us can be bullies and victims, but in order to overcome trauma we must be willing to take responsibility for our own healing: admit something is wrong, seek support and be willing to be honest in order to delve into the abyss of our suffering and come out clean and transformed on the other side.
Parents and teachers need to be aware of their own biases and prejudices, and the Shadow parts of themselves that they hate and were taught were not okay. Healed parents and teachers can more effectively prevent and reform bullies, both through instruction and by modeling good behavior. With Unconditional Love and Self- and Other-Acceptance we can each embrace the bully/victim inside and transform him or her into a Survivor.
I asked one of the best English/Life teachers I have ever had (David Langen, retired after 30+ years of teaching at Pearl City High School) about what he thought parents and teachers could and should do: “Letting them get away with it is the root of bullying. Kids have to let adults know they are getting bullied, and then the adults can't drop the ball. The principal of the school has to make it clear that bullying isn't tolerated. Kids have to believe there will be justice and safety.”
Still, the cause of all violence is the illusion or delusion that “others” are the problem, when in truth each of us is responsible for our own actions, words and thoughts.
Bullies really think and believe that others are bullying them, and that they have to strike out before others get them. I've seen it in action several times.
Thus, in order to “strike at the root” of the problem, we are called upon to reach out in compassion to others, even bullies. Maybe most of all to those who cause others hurt. (Within reason. I'm not advocating self-sacrifice or rescuing others who can’t be or don’t wish to be supported. Rather I offer the suggestion that we reach out in compassion to one another as human beings when all concerned are willing to pull their own weight and offer their fair share.)
As Marianne Williamson once said, “May we not succumb to thoughts of violence and revenge today, but rather to thoughts of mercy and compassion. We are to love our enemies that they might be returned to their right minds.”
We must be willing to not only “turn the other cheek” but also to reach out to those who seem to be our enemies in order to heal the root cause of bullying and in order to heal our divided world.
Lani Kwon Meilgaard, MA has over two decades of experience in crisis counseling, teaching, public speaking and writing, and she combined these interests into a successful coaching practice in Honolulu, Hawaii. The Creating Co-Powerment® Center LLC serves and supports people going through many different types of life transitions and transformations: graduation, career change, identity crisis, coming out, moving, divorce, recovery, retirement, etc.... S/He believes that each person already knows what they are here to do and, if it resonates with them to do so, would benefit from additional tools and guidance to recover/discover/uncover this Truth within. http://www.creatingcopowerment.com
PLEASE SUPPORT THIS BLOG - CLICK "JOIN NOW" AT THE TOP OF THE LEFT COLUMN ON THIS PAGE TO MAKE A DONATION. THANK YOU!
MyOutSpirit.com Founder, Clayton Gibson on February 28, 2011 in Bullying, Current Affairs, Education, Parenting, Queer Youth, Violence | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Reblog
(0)
|
|
Recent Comments