MyOutSpirit.com Gay Spirituality Blog

A Positive Perspective on AIDS

{by Shokti Lovestar, London, England}

On WORLD AIDS DAY 2012 in the UK we heard that the rate of infection amongst gay men is at an all time high.  

Bars around the country bizarrely offered WAD ‘celebrations’ and it was even possible to pop down to the GAY bar in Soho to get an on the spot test. So I guess if the result is positive there was plenty of booze on hand to help drown the sorrows and deplete your immune system further.  (I hear there were 2 positive results on the day, and - shockingly - no counselling or support advice on hand.)

The message of World AIDS Day was that HIV is not going away, but will we wait until December 1, 2013 before we talk about it again?  The gay community is not discussing the reasons so many are exposing themselves through risky sex.

To treat HIV as a minor problem that can be managed by medications is missing the point entirely. HIV changes lives and challenges on every level possible, it affects us mentally and emotionally as well as physically – perhaps it will not go away until we understand what it is trying to teach us, and what it is telling us about ourselves.

Remembrance of Me

"Have you ever forgotten who you are?"

I looked down at the new text on my iPhone, surprised.  "Random," I thought. And, "Duh."

The text was from a friend of mine I've never even met; one of the hazards of running MyOutSpirit.com is feeling very close to people you've never hung out with.  LGBTQ people often turn to me as if I'm someone with answers, and I do my best to honor their questions and reach inside myself to remember the answers.  (I even added a "Big Questions" section to the website so that all the members could do this question and answer work together.)

"Have you ever forgotten who you are?" my friend wanted to know.

From a spiritual perspective, answering "Yes" is deeply true.  We have all forgotten who we really are; it's why we're embodied.  "Genesis says Adam fell into a deep sleep," as Marianne Williamson reminds us. "Nowhere does it say anything about him waking up!" 

The root of all genuine, transformative spiritual practice is a freedom from identification with the small "s" self - the ego and its attachments, beliefs, habits and limitations - and evolving into identification with the capital "S" Self - an experience of unity with the Universe/Light/Divinity/Brahman/God. 

We suffer because we have forgotten who we are.

Our lives are meant to be about remembrance: rediscovering the atoms of stars in our bodies; stretching our ordinary consciousness into a vast web of unconditional love; moving into a place without "self" and "other," "subject" and "object."  We are here to reconnect with that Spirit that interpenetrates everything.

Or not.

We get to choose.

Most of us are lost in our lives.  Jobs, family, children, pets, good relationships, bad relationships, retail therapy, fashion, fitness, activism, sex, politics, GLEE - there are innumerable shiny distractions for the ego to play with like Legos it uses to build a portrait of itself. This is the real definition of karma. 

Karma is not about good or bad actions, sinful or virtuous behavior.  Karma is that which strengthens the ego self at the expense of the Self.  "Bad karma" is created when your thoughts, words or actions reinforce your ego.  That is what keeps you in hell, suffering, caught in samsara - however you understand it.  But it is possible to have sex, enjoy GLEE, and celebrate your life without creating more karma for yourself. 

How?  By remembering who you are and why you are here, and letting that remembrance color your choices.  Take action for your freedom.  EnlightenNext founder Andrew Cohen calls it "Clarity of Intention:"

"Wanting to be free more than anything else is not a feeling; it's an action. It is a conscious position you take in relationship to every choice you make. Without the clear intention to be free, no amount of spiritual practice will change you in the long run. Your success depends entirely upon your conscious choice to be free in every moment. Ultimately you will reach a point where you no longer have a choice, where your own freedom is recognized to be a choiceless obligation. Then the Authentic Self, which is already ecstatically and perfectly free, will have become the dominant force in your being."

"Have you ever forgotten who you are?"

We ALL have.

---

Clayton Gibson is the founder of MyOutSpirit.com, the gay spirituality social networking website and resource directory, and GaySpiritCulture.com, the co-op funding program for LGBT-affirming organizations and businesses.

 

Photo Credit: "Shimmer" by Bartosz Madej

 

Byron Katie: The Work of Gay Liberation

Byron Katie, the founder of The Work, has one job: to teach people how to end their own suffering. As she guides people through the powerful process of inquiry called The Work, they find that their stressful beliefs—about life, other people, or themselves— radically shift and their lives are changed forever.  In this exclusive interview with MyOutSpirit.com founder, Clayton Gibson, her first in a gay publication, Katie addresses LGBT suffering and our struggle for equal rights in terms of The Work.

Katie is one of the most beloved self-help authors in the world. Her best-selling books include LOVING WHAT IS, WHO WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT YOUR STORY, A THOUSAND NAMES FOR JOY, and I NEED YOUR LOVE: IS THAT TRUE?  Katie will be a keynote speaker at the Liberation 2010 LGBT Spiritual Conference in Los Angeles in April 2010.  (Mention MyOutSpirit to save $50 on conference registration - enter code "mos50") 

 

Read the Whole Interview on MyOutSpirit.com.

Highlights:

"When it comes to suffering, we’re all the same. Straight or gay, we suffer only when we believe our stressful thoughts. The world can never be our problem; it’s only our thinking about the world that can cause us a problem. All these struggles for identity are very real, of course, and cause us untold misery. We attach to an identity—“I am straight,” “I am gay,” “I am the woman whose mother doesn’t love her,” “I am the man who isn’t good enough”—and we don’t realize that it’s the thought we’re believing in the moment that creates that identity. But the truth is that when we understand who we really are, we move beyond all identities, and life becomes very simple."

"Many people think that there is a contradiction between loving what is and activism. That’s not my experience at all. I’ve heard people say that they cling to their painful thoughts because they’re afraid that without them they wouldn’t go out and try to change the world. “If I felt completely peaceful,” they say, “why would I bother taking action at all?” My answer is “Because that’s what love does.” To think that we need sadness or outrage to motivate us to do what’s right is insane. As if the clearer and happier you get, the less kind you become. As if when someone finds freedom, she just sits around all day with drool running down her chin. My experience is the opposite. Love is action. It’s clear, it’s kind, it’s effortless, and it’s irresistible."

"When you attack someone who is anti-gay, however valid your viewpoint is, do you think that he’ll be open to what you’re saying? You’re threatening him with your attitude, and the facts can get lost, because you’re coming from fear and righteous anger. All he’ll hear is that you think he’s doing it wrong, it’s his fault, and he’ll go into denial and resistance. But if you speak to him without stress, in total confidence that everything is just the way it should be in this very moment, you’ll be able to express yourself kindly, effectively, and with no fear about the future.

"Violence teaches only violence. Stress teaches stress. If your heart is clear and loving and non-judgmental, our hearts will change much more quickly. That’s how it works. And if you do that genuinely, without violence in your heart, without anger, without pointing at homophobes as the enemy, then people begin to notice. We begin to listen and notice that change through peace is possible. It has to begin with one person. If you’re not the one, who is?"

 

Read the Whole Interview on MyOutSpirit.com.

 

 

Understanding Where We Come From, but not Losing Ourselves

I don’t know how many of you have been following all the to-do about a researcher in Oregon investigating the physiological aspects of sheep sexuality, but I have been. In the first reports to come out of Dr. Roselli’s research, I was among the many queers who were very frightened about prospects of research into hormonal “cures” of homosexuality. Now, as Dr. Roselli tries to distance himself and his research from these notions, I remain worried and skeptical.

 

While I have avoided posting on this subject because I feel there is not enough solid information available, I was reminded of Dr. Roselli’s work and investigations into the causes of homosexuality by an interview I read today on Salon titled God and Gorillas. This interview is just one example of scientific investigation into the origin of religion. I find both the investigation into the causes of homosexuality and the evolutionary origins of religion to be similarly worrying on a gut level, even though I support them on an intellectual level.

 

Like many queers, I feel threatened by research into the specific causes of homosexuality because I worry that if a gene, hormone, hormone balance, etc., were found that directly caused homosexuality, some might be tempted to develop a “cure” for homosexuality (or alternatively, mothers might be tempted to abort babies simply to avoid having a gay child).  While those of us who are out and proud and our allies recognize that such a “cure” is nonsense, it would likely appeal very strongly to those struggling with their sexuality, parents of those struggling, and homophobic policy makers and lobbyists.

The difference

By Huw Richardson

A Deacon once asked me if I thought I was "different" from him because of my self-identified gayness. I promptly and without hesitation replied, "I don't know."

According to Orthodox Christian teaching, the temptations we suffer as coming from the evil one - from outside - the... um, what? the possibility of those temptations is entirely internal. I'm not going to be tempted by the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. It's just not going to work. Most of the time I don't even see an issue regarding scantily clad women. My friends do have to point it out: and I say "AH, right, I can see where that might cause a problem." The subtext being "if I were wired that way."

So... am I different?

Gays, Germans, people of faith, and other identity soup

By John G.

Here in Berlin, one of the free rags for queers, Siegessäule, recently ran three short portraits of queers and spirituality. For a link to the text, only available in German, click here. Just for a brief overview, the three portraits covered three different faith traditions from two different perspectives. The first is by a queer bear who visits two Buddhist meditation groups, and the second and third are profiles of religious converts, one from Catholicism to Islam and one from atheism to Christianity.

I found the three pieces to be very interesting because they not only span three religious traditions, but also three different ways of incorporating queer and religious identities into one’s life: two different forms of integration and one form of separation. It is this incorporation of identities that I want to focus on in this post.

In the queer bear’s exploration of Buddhism, he often finds that he is unconsciously cruising his fellow meditators. The gay Muslim who is profiled largely separates these two aspects of his life. And the gay Christian lesbian tries to find a worship community that accepts her and her partner as members. Ultimately, I find integration more compelling than separation, and while I am not going to fault anyone’s religious beliefs or sexual identity, I think that its important for queers of faith and spiritual queers to address how our spiritual/religious and sexual/gender identities intersect (or don’t).