MyOutSpirit.com Gay Spirituality Blog

Fred Phelps was a Big Gay Blessing (In Disguise)

Why America's best-known hatemonger was good for LGBT people.

The Truly Liberated Person Frees Their Oppressor

"The first sermon in which I included gay people by name among “the least of these” for whom Jesus cared, my text was the story from Acts of Paul and Silas in prison. An earthquake frees them, and the jail keeper prepares to take his own life, thinking they have escaped. But Paul shouts out, “Do not be afraid, for we are all here.” That was my sermon title, and I explained that despite their liberation, they take time to convert the jail keeper, recognizing he too is imprisoned."

~ CHRIS GLASER, http://chrisglaser.blogspot.com/2012/08/spiritual-care-for-liberated.html

Paulo Freire, writing in Pedagogy of the Oppressed: “Although the situation of oppression is a dehumanized and dehumanizing totality affecting both the oppressors and those whom they oppress, it is the latter who must, from their stifled humanity, wage for both the struggle for a fuller humanity; the oppressor, who is himself dehumanized because he dehumanizes others, is unable to lead this struggle.”

How to Pray for the End of LGBT Teen Suicide

What is the best SPIRITUAL response to LGBT teen suicides?

We're shocked and sad and angry every time the news breaks about another tragedy. We share the news on Facebook. We hold candlelight memorials. We speak out against bullying. We donate to The Trevor Project. 

Now, let's also focus our SPIRITUAL POWER on ending this suffering.

Each of us who believes in the Power of Prayer (or The Secret, creative visualization, tonglen, or Ho'oponopono) must now dedicate some portion of our practice to LGBT young people.

What does this mean?

We live in a creative universe. What we think about creates our individual experience, but those of us who believe in prayer also believe that what we pray about effects the world. 

DO NOT PRAY ABOUT LGBT TEEN SUICIDE.

Prayer and similar practices are creative - you get more of what you put energy toward. "Whatsoever you ask in my Name, that will I do." (John 14:13)

So when you do your spiritual work around this issue, do not pray from your grief, your anger, your compassion. Do not pray about the tragedy. Do not pray for this epidemic to stop. These would be negative prayers.

Instead, use positive prayer.

Pray for peace and healing and protection and Light and angels and Love to surround and lift up LGBT youth.

See it in your mind while you practice.

Imagine every LGBT teen laughing, living in joy, receiving love and support from all directions. 

If you can't wipe the memory of these tragedies from your spiritual practice: close your eyes; consciously witness the lost child's experience of bullying or loneliness - like a movie; and then, do it again, but make different choices. That is, imagine what the scenerio would have been if everything had gone right - if they'd found the strength, known what to say, who to tell, where to turn, how to get through it. Focus on this new sequence, and send it out into the universe as the new story of How Things Go. 

And then, BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.

As I have written about before, there are actual concrete things we can do to bring the number of LGBT teen deaths by suicide down to ZERO.

But we have to do it together.

And we have to do it NOW.

 

ANGEL PHOTO: http://drakator.deviantart.com/art/Why-126135568

"God Hates Fags" or "Being Gay is a Gift from God?" Which Story will Win?

{by Clayton Gibson, GodLovesGays.org}

Have you ever heard someone say "God hates fags?"

Maybe you've read that homosexuality is an abomination?

Maybe you just feel like there's something dirty or naughty (or sinful) about two men or two women together?

Well if you haven't heard those things, I'm moving to wherever you're from! They're a regular part of the conversation here in the United States. In fact, two out of three Americans agree that gay people suffer discrimination and violence and die from suicide at least partly because of anti-gay messages coming out of churches and other places of worship.

It's time for that to change. 

It's time for us to work together to lift up the voices of the thousands of LGBT-affirming spiritual communities in the USA and speak truth to power in one thundering voice, "God Loves Gays."

One small church in Toledo, Ohio, is leading the way.

Central United Methodist Church has purchased a billboard that boldly states, "Being Gay is a Gift from God." [pictured above, obviously]

The Rev. Bill Barnard, Central’s part-time pastor, tells the Toledo Blade that the billboard message will be linked to a four-week sermon series, and the overall campaign goal is “to make a leap beyond tolerance.”

“Members of the congregation have experienced places and times where being lesbian or gay was tolerated — kind of ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell, I know God forgives you,’” Barnard says. “We’re saying, ‘This is the way God created you. There’s nothing to forgive.’"

In an email to MyOutSpirit.com, Central UMC Lead Team Chair Lynn Braun explains, "Central UMC has been actively and openly inclusive of the LGBT community for over 25 years but we felt it was important to make an even bigger statement so that LGBT folks hear messages from religious groups that tell them that they are loved, just the way they are."

We are organizing welcoming faith communities to proclaim love at BringYourGayTeenToChurch.com!

Our plan is for EVERY LGBTQ-AFFIRMING SPIRITUAL COMMUNITY IN THE COUNTRY to celebrate "Bring Your Gay Teen to Church Day" during their services on June 25 or 26, 2011. 

We are raising money at GodLovesGays.org to help the churches pay to promote this interfaith event so that:

Every LGBTQ youth will know that when times are tough, they have a spiritual home to turn to that celebrates their gender identity or sexual orientation (as opposed to churches that would try to change it). 

LGBTQ youth, and their parents, families and classmates, will hear from spiritual leaders that God loves transgender, bisexual, lesbian and gay people just as they are - that "Gay is a Gift from God," and not an abomination, a choice, or a sin.

Every LGBTQ teen will know that someone believes they are sacred, whole, valuable, and perfect as they are.

I don't know if we'll raise enough money to buy every LGBTQ-affirming church a "Gay is a Gift from God" billboard, but wouldn't it be nice? 

It's up to us. Which story will win: "God Hates Fags" or "Being Gay is a Gift from God?"

---

Please donate at GodLovesGays.org so we can spread the love - even if it's just a $1 - and use the "Share" tools on that page to tell all your friends about the event!

You can also find us at http://www.facebook.com/GodLovesGays and BringYourGayTeenToChurch.com.

"Bring Your Gay Teen to Church Day" will Announce that "God Loves Gays"

After an exciting start in Houston in February 2011, MyOutSpirit.com is working with organizations in Austin, Texas, and around the country to launch "Bring Your Gay Teen to Church Day," June 25-26, 2011.

"We hope this interfaith event connecting LGBTQ teens with open-and-affirming faith communities will help prevent LGBTQ youth deaths by suicide," says MyOutSpirit.com founder, Clayton Gibson. "Thousands of churches, temples, synagogues and other spiritual communities are LGBTQ-affirming, and this event will help them get the word out. For once it's not about politics, not about equality. This time, it's about serving the spiritual needs of LGBTQ teens and their families."

 

As the crowd-funding campaign page for "Bring Your Gay Teen to Church Day" explains:

As LGBTQ-affirming clergy,

Spiritual teachers,

People of faith, and 

Parents, friends and family members of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer and questioning youth,

We were all alarmed by the spike in LGBTQ youth deaths by suicide last fall. An April 2011 study found that roughly 20% of gay, lesbian and bisexual teens said they had made a suicide attempt, versus 4% of straight kids. 

Young people who live in areas with a more negative cultural climate towards LGBTQ issues are at an increased risk. Some 70% of calls to The Trevor Project's suicide hotline come from the southern and central regions of the United States.

Two out of three Americans agree with us that gay people suffer discrimination and violence and die from suicide at least partly because of anti-gay messages coming out of churches and other places of worship. We wondered:

What can WE do to help prevent gay teen suicide? 

We believe that LGBTQ-affirming spiritual guidance and community can help lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer and questioning youth who are in crisis. 

We know from personal experience that deep community and spiritual practices like prayer, meditation, mindfulness, forgiveness and yoga help human beings weather hard times. Bringing an LGBTQ teen to a certified welcoming church, synagogue, temple, sangha or other spiritual community can help empower them to "Make It Better" starting today.

That's why we invite your donation to support "Bring Your Gay Teen to Church Day."

We want to change the cultural mindset by making it common knowledge that many spiritual communities would love to welcome, support and inspire LGBTQ young people, without trying to change their sexual orientation or gender identity. 

 

We can replace the incorrect assumption that LGBTQ people are "an abomination"

with our message that "God Loves Gays." 

Most importantly, we want every LGBTQ youth to hear that they are sacred, whole, valuable and loved, just as they are. And we want their parents, families and classmates to hear it, too!

The Rebirth of Lady Gaga

We may have missed the point in the flurry of dropped jaws, jokes and awe after Lady Gaga arrived at the 2011 Grammy Awards inside a giant milky egg designed by Hussein Chalayan:

Truly growing up is a constant process of rebirthing yourself.

We all protect ourselves with a shell - a story about who we are, how others see us, what we are capable of, and how the world works.

We start creating these stories about ourselves early, based on what we learn from our parents and early childhood experiences. Our stories develop themes from our conclusions about the events of our lives, and these shadow beliefs constantly whisper that we are not worthy of love, happiness and success. 

With Born This Way, Lady Gaga encourages us to break out of our shells and claim a new story that serves our highest good.

"Our stories have a purpose," explains Debbie Ford in The Secret of the Shadow. "Even though they set our limitations, they also help us define who we are so we don't feel completely lost in the world. Living inside them is like being inside a clear capsule. The thin transparent walls act like a shell that traps us inside. Even though we have the ability to gaze outside and view the world around us, we stay safely trapped inside, comfortable with the familiar terrain, bound by an inner knowing that no matter what we do, think, or say, we can go no further... In a desperate attempt to give our lives meaning, we create and then repeat our stories; and as we cling to who we think we are, we perpetuate our dramas."

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning people are as addicted to our stories as anyone else.

Because of the homophobic, heterosexist culture we grow up in, most LGBTQ people have victimhood, shame, and rejection in our stories. Screw that.

We can burst out of our mental shells just like Gaga did at the Grammys.

We can CHOOSE what story we believe. We can choose to believe that we are fully empowered, worthy, blessed and "born this way."

We don't have to be anybody's victim. We can be SHAMELESS. We don't have to conform to anyone else's idea of who we should be; we don't have to conform to gay stereotypes any more than we have to conform to heteronormative culture and relationships.

Once you wake up and recognize your story, you can choose to break out of your shell. 

When she was the spiritual leader at my church, Marianne Williamson told us that when it's time for a chick to be born, their egg's internal environment turns toxic - it fills up with gas and the chick has to break out or die. Being trapped inside your bad story feels the same way. Will you lead a life of quiet desperation and keep listening to your toxic internal dialogue, or break out - even though it's scary -and claim the life you want?

"No matter what the problem is, our experiences are just outer effects of inner thoughts," Louse Hay explains in You Can Heal Your Life. "Even self-hatred is only hating a thought you have about yourself. You have a thought that says, 'I'm a bad person.' This thought produces a feeling, and you buy into the feeling. However, if you don't have the thought, you won't have the feeling. And thoughts can be changed. Change the thought, and the feeling must go."

Lady Gaga burst out her shell wearing Thierry Mugler and armed to the teeth with fierce. She's our queer ATHENA, born full-grown and carrying weapons - the new pop goddess of justice, warfare and wisdom.

She's ready to help you change your story, but you have to listen. Enjoy the dazzle, but don't be distracted by the sensationalism. Pay attention.

This is big.

Love,

Clayton Gibson

Founder, MyOutSpirit.com

Advice for LGBT Activists from Hopi Elders and Dolly Parton

I didn't get very far into PERSEVERANCE by Margaret Wheatley before I came across this message from the Elders of the Hopi Nation that I knew I needed to share with you:

ORAIBI, ARIZONA, JUNE 8, 2000

Here is a river flowing now very fast.

It is so great and swift that there are those

who will be afraid, who will try

to hold onto the shore.

They are being torn apart and

will suffer greatly.

 

Know that the river has its destination.

The elders say we must let go of the shore.

Push off into the middle of the river,

and keep our heads above water.

 

And I say see who is there with you

and celebrate.

At this time in history,

we are to take nothing personally,

least of all ourselves,

for the moment we do,

our spiritual growth and journey come to a halt.

 

The time of the lone wolf is over.

Gather yourselves.

Banish the word struggle from your attitude

and vocabulary.

 

All that we do now must be done

in a sacred manner and in celebration.

For we are the ones we have been waiting for.

 

---

As you may or may not know, I've been on the road for MyOutSpirit for almost two years now (I'll be moving for the 13th time in two years on Monday), and one of the lessons I've learned is that I really can't do it alone.  I can't personally contact every pro-LGBTQ organization and business in the country!  Some people suggest buying mailing lists and then sending invitations, but I'd rather build this powerful network by building community.

Which means I need your help. 

If you're in the USA, please help us gather together by inviting 2 LGBTQ-affirming organizations and businesses in your community to join MyOutSpirit's VISIONARY Network at http://GaySpiritCulture.com - and ask each of them to invite two more, and so on. Friends and colleagues asking friends and colleagues to participate!

If you can also make a contribution to support my work, it's much-needed right now.

 

ZERO Q SUICIDES: What Can the LGBTQ Community Do to Protect Queer Youth?

We were all moved by the increased reporting on the epidemic of LGBT teen suicides last autumn, and many clergy, teachers, politicians and everyday folks have taken action to stop bullying and support queer youth.  But we can do more to take the LGBTQ teen suicide rate from 4x that of heterosexuals to ZERO.

Let's agree to a "Big Hairy Audacious Goal" to guide our efforts: ZERO Q SUICIDES.

If our goal is ZERO Q SUICIDES, what do we need to do differently as an LGBTQ community?

Share your ideas and actions on the discussion page of our Facebook page.

My first thoughts about how to achieve ZERO Q SUICIDES are:

BUILD DEEP COMMUNITY.  A major contributor to LGBTQ teen suicide is feelings of loneliness and isolation.  How can we remedy this as an LGBTQ community?  Well, we talk a lot about supporting the MACRO LGBTQ community - the institutional and social level - but we don't talk much about supporting the MICRO LGBTQ community - the personal level.  Could we revise our concept of LGBTQ community so that it's centered around ALL of us participating in small, diverse groups grounded in honesty, safety, and openness?  Could we train each other to exchange effective help and support with one another?  Could we create a queer culture that encourages nonjudgmental sharing and listening, and close interaction with people who are different than you?  Can we build an LGBTQ community in which no one feels alone? Could we reconceive "Coming Out" to involve not only telling someone you're LGBTQ but also an enfoldment into this kind of Deep Community?  (And since this IS MyOutSpirit, could our mental, spiritual health professionals and elders lead these groups?)

SPREAD INSPIRATION AND GUIDANCE.  Two out of three Americans agree with us that LGBTQ people commit suicide at least partly because of anti-LGBT messages coming out of churches and other places of worship.  These messages are a cause of the feelings of shame and unworthiness (and social ostracization) that contribute to LGBTQ teen suicide.  As anyone reading this MyOutSpirit.com blog knows, it's not that the truth about the sanctity of LGBTQ people isn't available.  Soulforce's "The Debate is Over, the Verdict is In: Not a Sickness, Not a Sin," for example, lays out the most recent biblical, medical, psychiatric, psychological, and scientific evidence to combat myths and lies often used against gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons by anti-LGBT religious leaders and institutions.  The information is out there, but it's not reaching enough people.  We can do more to spread inspiration and guidance to LGBTQ people. This is why MyOutSpirit plans to distribute a free MyOutSpirit Magazine - we've got to get this information in the hands of those who need it most.  (You can become a distributor in your community by filling out this form.)  Ministers, counselors, and other body/mind/spirit professionals are invited to make short instructional videos that help LGBTQ teens improve their lives immediately at YouMakeItBetter.org.  

EDUCATE OURSELVES AND OTHERS.  Everyone in our community should learn to practice mindful listening.  When a 20-year-old gay acquaintance of mine asked his friends at the bar, "Do you think God lets gays into heaven?" none of them heard it as a cry for help until his body had been discovered hanging in a closet the next day.  We have to learn the warning signs and how to help.  We also need to do the deep work of opening straight hearts and minds, not just for equality, but also to eliminate all harm caused by ignorance and fear of "the Other."  We should actively participate in GLSEN's Safe Spaces Campaign and other organizations' programs that educate the general public about the unique needs and challenges of queer youth. 

Finally, a few rules of thumb as we work toward ZERO GAY SUICIDES.

1. Faster is better.  We don't have to wait until we have the perfect small group model or the perfect plan or the perfect organization or the perfect whatever to make these changes.  We will experiment and fail and that's okay.  But the LGBTQ teens who are in crisis today can't wait.
2. Change is free.  Other than our magazine, none of the suggestions above will cost a dime. Changing the way we choose to form community is free.  Spreading information is free. Education is free.  The only cost is the time and effort of everyone who wants ZERO Q SUICIDES.
3. Recycle.  We don't need to recreate the wheel.  All this stuff exists, we just need to use what we've got.  

 What are your ideas?  What are you already doing?  What are you willing to do to achieve ZERO Q SUICIDES?  Join the discussion on Facebook.

Is Your Church on Manhunt?

Okay, I pick on Manhunt a lot, but would you have read the article if it was called "Is Your Church on YouTube?"  The real question is, "Are you taking your ministry to LGBTQ people or are you simply holding an affirming space if they choose to find it?"

If you want to grow your ministry and help lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning people find their way back to god (however you define the terms "ministry" and "god"), then you need to consider undertaking a new mission to LGBTQ people.

Did Mother Teresa open an orphanage and then sit back and wait for people to find it?  No, she went out into the poverty-and-disease-ridden streets of Calcutta to bring unconditional love and care to those who needed it most.

In contemporary Christian circles, this approach is described as an "Incarnational Ministry" because it requires ministers to plant a new ministry where the underserved community lives.  To create an Incarnational Ministry is to enter into deep relationship with the people who need you most by moving into the neighborhood. 

You can do this literally, like Rev. Megan Rohrer, queer Lutheran minister (one of the "Bay Area Seven") and Executive Director of The Welcome, who goes on street retreats among San Francisco's homeless and plants gardens to feed the hungry.  Andrew Marin, a self-described former "straight, Bible-beating homophobe" incarnated a ministry in Chicago's Boystown, not to change anyone's sexual orientation but to build bridges, deep relationships, and to share his belief that "Love is an Orientation" (the title of his book - no, I haven't read it yet).  (Both of these folks desperately need financial support right now: Donate to The Welcome | Donate to The Marin Foundation)

You can also now incarnate a ministry virtually, by taking your mission work beyond Facebook and into the online social networks where 61.2% of men-who-have-sex-with-men (MSM) now find their first sexual partner - and millions of MSM find their next.  These sites include Manhunt.net, Adam4Adam.com and Gay.com, among many others.

Why take your church onto gay hook-up websites?  I certainly don't suggest it because I think sex between consenting adults is bad/naughty/sinful!  Don't assume every MSM on those websites needs or wants your spiritual input or support.  You should take your ministry there, not to preach against those websites and their function, but to enter into Incarnational Ministry with MSM who are in crisis.  Through my own memberships on these websites I have counseled a young gay man facing chemotherapy alone (he hadn't even told friends and family he was sick), drug addicts, escorts and prostitutes, the lonely and the suicidal. 

Many MSM on these websites are healthy, happy men just using the service to network, date and hook up.  However, many others are dealing with huge life challenges like cheating on their wives with men, coming out, coping with a health crisis, poverty, loneliness, depression, despair, or flailing about begging for someone to make them feel loved, even for just a few minutes.

I'm not saying you should create a ministerial profile on these sites and then start banging on the virtual door of anyone who you think must be in crisis - besides being rude, it might also get you kicked off by a website administrator!  But I challenge you to incarnate your ministry in these online communities; just create a profile explaining that you're available if anyone needs support or guidance, and let people in crisis come to YOU.  Use a simple photo that doesn't reveal much about how you look - you don't want them distracted by how gorgeous you are!  (And, of course, even if you don't show your pretty face, it goes without saying you'll need to be prepared to field some very angry or sexual messages.)

You know, when I published the test issue of MyOutSpirit Magazine in Austin, we distributed them for free all over town, but can you guess where they were claimed the fastest?  Gay men snapped up the copies we left in gay bars and clubs faster than anywhere else.  Our plan is to expand this print incarnational ministry to 100,000+ people in the USA in 2011.

The point is, the LGBTQ people who need you most aren't necessarily going to stumble into your church (sangha/temple/retreat center/yoga studio/counseling center) on their own.  But you can create an Incarnational Ministry right where they are, online or off.

Oh, and the other thing about Mother Teresa?  She didn't do it alone.  If you feel called to do this incarnational work, talk to your peers and members and students about it and build a team of people to go there with you!

Do you already have an LGBTQ Incarnational Ministry?  What are some that you've heard about?  Post in the comments below!

Love,

Clayton

P.S.  Another "Incarnational Ministry" that ALL LGBT-affirming body/mind/spirit resources are invited to join is just getting started on YouTube.  You are asked to make short instructional videos offering step-by-step advice to help LGBTQ youth "MAKE It Better" today.  Learn more at YouMakeItBetter.org.

P.S.  Finally (really, I promise!), you can also become a distributor of MyOutSpirit Magazine to spread LGBT-affirming inspiration and guidance in your local community.  You'll be joining a Movement of people, organizations and businesses dedicated to helping each LGBTQ person "Live Your Best Gay Life," today and for future generations.  Go ahead and sign up now at GaySpiritCulture.com.

(And if you are the dream investor we've been waiting for to take this ministry to the next level, please get in touch with me!)

 

IMPT: Take Survey to Help MyOutSpirit Magazine

Please spend a few minutes taking an anonymous survey to help MyOutSpirit:  http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/D7BJFL2

As readers of this blog know, I've been on the road for MyOutSpirit for nearly 18 months now.  I sold almost all my possessions (everything I own fits in my car now) and hit the road for gay spirituality.  I've moved 12 times already (yes, it's getting old), and published the test issue of MyOutSpirit Magazine in Austin earlier this year.  I was very thankful that Bishop Gene Robinson gave a "MyOutSpirit Address" at our big launch party in the Texas State Capitol Rotunda.

Now, I'm in San Diego, working hard to create the national MyOutSpirit Magazine we will distribute for free to inspire LGBTQ people to "Live your best gay life."

An angel investor to help us get started would be really nice (feel free to contact me if you're interested), but even after the angels come, we'll still be dependent on advertisers who support our mission to shift gay culture and save LGBTQ lives. 

That's why I need YOU to take this (sort of fun) anonymous survey. 

Everyone's answers will be consolidated to create a "Reader Profile" to include in the media kit shown to potential advertisers.  This helps them understand why advertising in MyOutSpirit Magazine will be effective as well as important.

Can you spare a few minutes to answer some questions about your life?

Please share the link with your friends and Facebook friends, too!  http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/D7BJFL2

 

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